Sparks
by NineAnd3Quarters
Summary: Anastasia Steele sees herself as a simple girl with a simple life. Christian Grey sees himself as a complicated man with a complicated past. When the complicated man meets the simple girl, it only takes a single spark, and what he sees, is anything but simple. HEA, No Cheating. Pinterest: NineN3Quarters. Collab with SanjanaSandeep232
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I told myself that after I finished the 'Mine Now' series, I wouldn't write anymore. Well, I'm only halfway through the second one and here I am writing another one! This one, however, is special because I'm writing it with my good friend Sanjana (SanjanaSandeep232), who is an enabler and who can't control her compulsion for fan fiction either. *Smiles***

 **Don't forget to check out our board 'Sparks' on Pinterest under my name, 'NineN3Quarters'**

 **Disclaimer: We do not receive compensation or own rights to anything Fifty Shades related, although, neither of us would mind owning Jamie for a day...or two.**

 **Sanjana and I hope you enjoy this fan fiction as much as we are enjoying writing it! Now, without further ado...on with the story.**

 ***Christian's POV***

I haven't seen my brother this week, so when he called, practically begging me to come over tonight, I couldn't say no. Lately, my life has consisted of Elliot and work. I've been throwing myself into my work... _not that I haven't always done that_...but even more now. I haven't had a submissive in three months. Three long months of being celibate can really fuck you up in the brain, but I've forced myself into work, trying to put the thought of my neglected dick to the back of my mind. I work, I eat, I sleep, I even shower at work. Escala seems so large and cold now, it isn't worth even going anymore. My playroom is still there. Although I know I need to get rid of it, something is keeping me from giving Taylor the approval to destroy it. I know that part of my life is over, but it's such a big piece of me. By throwing away the BDSM, I feel like I'm throwing away another piece of myself. I'm not willing to part with it just yet. I'm broken and damaged, and don't have many pieces left.

Three months ago, Elliot caught me whipping a little brown-headed girl in my playroom. That day will always stick out in my mind. The look on my brother's face when I faced him, horrified me. I was beginning to lose interest in the lifestyle already, it no longer helping me cope with my rage, so when Elliot barged in, it was just the final nail in the coffin.

My thoughts roll back to the last day I had Emma.

 _I have my newest submissive, Emma, bent over the whipping bench while I hold my favorite belt in my hand. I am punishing her for coming without permission. Granted, I brought her to the brink of orgasm six times and denied her each time, she still disobeyed me. So unfortunate... even the most established submissives can't control themselves. I can't deny that I did this on purpose; I need a reason to punish her. I have been strung tight for the past week. Ros and I have been busting our asses on this Detroit deal for the last six months and today, it just went south. I stormed out of my office and came home to find Emma in the kitchen cooking dinner. I threw my shit on the counter and ordered her to the playroom._

 _"You will be whipped twelve times. Count, Ms. Stewart. "_

 _" Yes, sir." She answers._

 _I lash out the first hit and she starts counting, keeping quiet like a good submissive. As I continue whipping her ass, I feel the rush of control and arousal flood through my entire body, but my rage hasn't diminished. I am breathless and ready to fuck by the time we reach ten, but I am brought out of my euphoria by someone pushing me aside. As I fall on my ass, I see Elliot standing there with a look of disgusted shock on his face and I feel all the blood drain from my own. Elliot is screaming at me while he tries to cover Emma up, but she struggles away from his grip and comes to me on her knees to ask if I am okay._

 _"I'M FINE, EMMA! JUST GET YOUR SHIT AND GET THE FUCK OUT!"_

 _We both watch as she runs out in tears, but I can't give a fuck because I am on the verge of a panic attack._

 _My brother rounds on me. "What kind of sick fuck are you?"_

We ended up on the couch with a bottle of scotch and I told him everything. Every God-damned thing from Elena, to my lifestyle and my submissives. _Fuck,_ that night I even presented him my contract that I present to all of my submissives. By the time I was done explaining my lifestyle choice, I was prepared for him to tell me to fuck off and never to speak to him again; to anyone in the family, for that matter. Instead, he surprised the shit out of me and hugged me. I struggled to get out of his hold, but he just crushed me to himself tighter, telling me that he loves me no matter what and that everything will be alright in the end. He was furious at Elena, but I took her side like I always do.

After seeing my brother so concerned, I knew I could never continue with my lifestyle choice. I told him I was willing to change and he promised me he'd help and that he wouldn't go spouting off to my parents about all this shit. Since then, we've spent every minute we can together. My brother and I have never been closer. Our newfound relationship is almost worth my dry spell... _almost._

I make my way up the walk to his house, knock on the door, and he opens it with a smile.

"Hey, bro! Beer?" He hands me a cold, open beer and I'm grateful.

"Perfect, El. Thanks." I step inside of his foyer and take a large gulp of the frosty beverage, sighing after I swallow.

"Figured you needed a cold one." He mentions, chuckling. "Let's head downstairs. I've already got _Halo_ loaded on the X-Box One."

I let out a dramatic groan as I follow him down to the basement. My brother has always been better at these games than me. Of course, he plays them a lot more than I get to, so it really isn't fair.

We plop down on his black leather sofa, in front of the two televisions and two x-boxes that have been set up, so that we can play against one another. I tease my brother about how far his gaming obsession goes, but he knows how to have a good time.

We're both three beers and four games in when he clears his throat.

"I just wanted to let you know that my new girl will be stopping by soon."

The grin that's been plastered on my face for the last twenty minutes has fallen. "Why?"

"Well, you have to meet her sometime, Chris."

"Do I? And don't call me Chris, _Lelliot._ "

My brother snorts and pauses the game, turning towards me. "Come on. I want you to meet her! We've been dating for a month now. That's a long time for me!"

 _I'll give him that much._

"Come on, Christian. I want to see if she passes the brother test."

I chuckle and shake my head, taking a swig of my beer. He pouts dramatically at me and I quirk my eyebrow.

"What I think really matters that much to you?"

He nods, grinning, knowing he's trapped me.

"Fine."

He relaxes back into his seat and unpauses the game. "Great. She'll be here in fifteen minutes...and she's bringing a friend."

I pause the game. "What. The. Fuck."

Elliot chuckles and opens another beer. _He's finding this shit amusing._

"Christian...it's time to try a regular relationship."

" _Relationship?_ I don't do-"

"Yea, yea...I know. You don't do 'vanilla', whatever the fuck that means! Will it kill you to go on one fucking date? You're 27 years old for Christ's sake. It's time to pop your dating cherry, dude."

I rub my face roughly with both hands. _My brother is fucking mental._ "I don't think you could classify this as a date."

He shrugs. "It's not. We're just hanging out. I wouldn't throw you to the wolves, dude. If you like her, then make your move. If not, then move on."

I throw my hands up, succumbing to my fate. "Fine. Can you at least tell me this girl's name?"

"Anastasia."

My mouth bobs open a bit.

"Hot, right?" He grins, wiggling his eyebrows at me.

I hear footsteps overhead and cock an eyebrow at him.

"She has a key."

"SHE HAS A KEY?" My eyes bug out of my head, but he coughs loudly to cover up my surprise as the girls come down the stairs.

He stands up and I follow his lead, not happy about being sucked into this shit. The girls come around the corner and I notice a tall, strawberry blonde in a short black and white jumpsuit with black heels and I can't help but notice her legs go all the way up. A petite brunette steps from behind her, wearing a white button down, tight jeans and navy chucks. _Oh, fuck me._

 _Please let the blonde be Kate._

I watch Elliot greet the blonde and I can't help my smirk. Not that the girl isn't beautiful, but she's trying to hard. I don't mind blondes, but they don't do anything for me. _Perhaps being with Elena has sworn me off of them._ I almost snort at the thought.

"Christian, this is my girl, Kate, and her best friend, Anastasia. Girls, this is my brother, Christian."

I shake Kate's hand first, greeting her, and then move to Anastasia. She looks up at me with the biggest blue eyes I have ever seen and every nerve-ending in my body lights up. _I'm fucked._ I concentrate all my energy on keeping my dick from introducing himself.

As she's shaking my hand, her eyebrows knit together and I realize that she had no idea that I was going to be here. _My brother is a fucking asshole._

She greets me politely and cocks an eyebrow at Elliot, looking for an explanation. "I wasn't aware that anyone else would be here."

He shrugs. "It's just my brother."

"Don't worry, Anastasia. I seemed to have missed the same memo."

She gives me a soft smile and my breath catches again when it causes her eyes to light up. "Call me, Ana."

 ***Ana's POV***

 _I could just kill Kate for doing this to me!_ She told me that we were just coming to Elliot's to hang out for a bit, because she had an early morning. I've only met Elliot twice before and she's been busy, so I agreed. I haven't see Kate in almost three weeks, because she's started a job at the Seattle Times and the hours are ridiculous. Thinking nothing of it, I throw on some old jeans and chucks, making myself comfortable, and then I'm greeted by the most beautiful man I have ever laid eyes on. _The man is an Adonis._ Now I'm stuck here in Elliot's basement watching him and Adonis shooting at each other on the X-Box while Kate roots for Elliot. Watching Kate do this does make me laugh. She never cared about video games when her brother, Ethan, was playing. Kate doesn't have much of an attention span when it comes to men, so I don't imagine her keeping this charade up for long, although it is entertaining to see her so enthralled with him. She tells me he's different than the others, but we'll see how this pans out.

My eyes keep wandering to Adonis on the other couch and can't help, but crack a smile at how cute he is while trying to beat his brother. _Maybe being here isn't so bad._

"Ana..."

My head jerks away from Mr. Adonis and my eyes find Kate, who is staring intently at me.

"What is going on?" She asks quietly, a look of worry on her face.

My eyebrows knit together. "What do you mean?"

She looks over at the men, making sure they're still watching the game, and turns back to me. "Something is going on. You're skinny as a rail, your mind keeps drifting when I'm talking to you, and you look like you haven't slept in ages."

I chew my lip and look down at my fiddling thumbs. _I knew I couldn't keep this from her._

"Ana...tell me." She coaxes, sliding closer.

I shrug. "I lost my job."

Her eyes bulge. "When?"

"Um, about five weeks ago."

"Anastasia Steele! Why didn't you tell me?"

I shake my head. "I just..." I look away for a second, trying to find my bearings. "I just didn't want to make a big deal out of it."

"What happened?"

 _Should I tell her? Should I lie?_ Oh, who am I kidding? I'm a shit liar.

"If I tell you, you've got to promise not to go thermonuclear on me. What's done is done, and I just want to move on."

She nods. "Okay, I promise. Now tell me."

I rub the back of my neck for a second and take a deep breath. "My boss, Jack..."

"The owner?"

I nod. "Yes. One day he called me into his office and tried to hit on me, but I told him I wasn't interested. I didn't want to be _that_ girl. He didn't take it very well and he tried to force-"

"HE ATTACKED YOU?" Elliot's voice is loud and makes me wince.

 _Crap._

Looking over, I see that the game is paused and both men are looking at me.

"Um...I guess you could say that." I wring my hands and pray that this couch will open up and swallow me whole.

"Ana...did he...?" Kate looks panicked, but I shake my head quickly.

"Nothing happened. Another employee came in and I booked it out of there. He sent me a text, warning me not to tell anyone and that he'll let it go if I came back to work. I tried to go back, but I just couldn't. When I told him I wasn't coming back, he said a few colorful words and told me I'd never find a job in publishing again. So far, he's been right. I've had three interviews, but after, I never heard anything back."

Kate throws herself at me in a hug and lets out a sob. "Oh, Ana! Why didn't you tell me? How are you getting by? Why don't you come live with me?"

My eyes widen. "Oh, no, Kate. Thank you, but I'm alright." She releases me and sits up. She doesn't look happy at my answer. "Really...I'm fine. Things have been tight, but I've gotten through. I've got another interview at Seattle Independent Publishing on Tuesday. I'm feeling good about it."

"Are you sure?" It looks as if I've broken her heart and it makes me feel guilty.

"Yes, I'm sure. Thank you."

"When was the last time you've eaten?"

"I had an apple a couple hours ago...you saw me eat it."

"That's not what I mean, Steele."

I roll my eyes. "I am fine. Stop being like that."

 ***Christian's POV***

 _I'll kill the fucker._

I don't even know who this Jack is, but I'll find him. He attacked Anastasia and left her with no source of income or job security.

When she mentions SIP, my ears perk up. I immediately pull my phone out of my pocket and pull up Roach's email.

 ** _'If you hire Anastasia Steele, you've got yourself a deal.'_**

I've been looking into publishing and came along SIP when I heard that the owner, Steve Roach, was wanting to sell it and retire. The only problem we've had is that we can't settle on a number. He states that my numbers are too low; I know his numbers are too high. I've got more fucking money than I know what to do with, so why not use it to help someone out? Anastasia will never have to know.

While I'm busy with my phone, I hear Kate ask Anastasia when the last time she's eaten was. My whole body goes rigid and suddenly, I want to punish Anastasia for being so careless about her nutrition. Kate is right; she's too thin. Before I can stew too much, her phone rings and she jumps up, making we way out of the room.

 _I need a drink._

I stand and stretch, trying to work the kinks out of my rigid muscles. "I'm grabbing a beer. You want one?"

Elliot nods. "Thanks, bro."

I make my way into the other room, where the basement kitchen is located, and find Anastasia leaning over the counter, holding her stomach.

"Is everything okay, Anastasia?"

She straightens up immediately. "Huh? Oh, yes. Everything's fine. I just found out that my interview has been changed to tomorrow morning and I'm just a little nervous is all."

I give her an uncertain nod and make my way to the fridge.

"Do you want anything to drink?"

"No, thank you. I should probably get going, so that I can prepare for the interview." She pushes off the counter and takes a step before grabbing her head.

"Anastasia?"

"I'm...I'm fine. Just a little..." Her eyes roll back in her head and I lunge out to grab her just before she hits the floor.

 _Just fucking great._ If she had been eating properly, this would have never happened. Now, I _really_ want to punish this sweet little ass of hers.

I shuffle her in my arms until I've got her behind her knees and back and carry her back into the other room.

 ***Ana's POV***

My eyes flutter open and I'm greeted by three worried faces. _Oh, god!_ I groan and cover my face with my hands. I am absolutely mortified. I feel a poke in my ribs, making me startle and let out a squeak, and I pull my hands away from my face to glare at my best friend.

"What the hell happened?" _Kate's angry._

I ignore her and begin to push myself up, a bunch of hands grabbing at me to help me. _Honestly._ Could this be any more humiliating? Once I'm sitting, I pull my knees up to my chest and hide my face.

"You know you can't hide forever." Elliot sounds amused and it only makes my cheeks burn more.

"I'm fine." I answer through my knees.

"Like hell you are! If you were fine, Christian wouldn't have had to catch you before you broke your face!"

"Oh my god." I peek up and see them staring at me. My eyes find the Adonis. "I'm sorry."

I watch his jaw tick a few times and he swallows. He looks annoyed...angry even. "You need to eat, Anastasia."

I nod. "I intend to when I get home. I've just been busy today, I haven't really thought-"

"You'll eat now."

My mouth clamps shut in surprise. "I'm...I'm sorry?" _Did I hear him right?_

"You heard me. Come." He stands up and I watch him with my mouth gaping.

My eyes flick over to Kate and I find her trying to hide a silent giggle behind her hand. _The cow finds this funny!_

"Don't make me carry you." My eyes snap back up to the copper Adonis. It's a warning.

"You wouldn't..." _Would he?_

He comes towards me to grab me and I throw my hands out. "Okay, okay! I'm going!" I jump up and he stops in his tracks.

"Wise choice, Miss Steele."

I begrudgingly make my way towards the stairs and have to force myself not to stomp up the steps on my way up like a child. I must do a poor job of controlling myself, because I hear him chuckle behind me. _Oh, how I'd love to turn around and give him a nice little push._ When I reach the top of the stairs, he places a hand on the small of my back and steers me into the kitchen, Elliot and Kate trailing behind.

"Sit." He points to the stool at the breakfast bar and I cock an eyebrow at him, but I do as he says...and I don't know why.

"Has anyone ever told you how domineering you are?"

He gives me a full-out, pantie-dropper smile and I almost liquify in my seat. _Holy crap._

"A fair few."

Elliot chuckles behind him as he goes to the fridge to find something. _Is Elliot as domineering as Christian?_ He doesn't seem to be that way. In fact, he seems pretty easy going. I wonder if they get along well; being brothers probably creates a lifetime bond that can't be broken. Being an only child, I won't ever understand that bond. I've seen Kate and Ethan together and their relationship is so sweet. Suddenly, I'm feeling lonely. _I really need to make more time for friends._ I've been boxed up in my little studio apartment pouting and feeling sorry for myself for the last month. _I need to get out._

I hear the door of the fridge shut, pulling me out of my thoughts. Elliot shoves something in the microwave and starts it before turning back to us, leaning against the counter. Kate takes a seat next to me and suddenly it's quiet. _This is so awkward._ I should have never come. I should have convinced Kate to come to my apartment or to see Elliot by herself.

Five long minutes later, the microwave dings and Elliot pulls it out, sifts through the silverware drawer, and stirs the black container. He plops it down in front of me.

"Food." He states, grinning.

Looking down, I see that it's mac and cheese. "Thank you, chef. It looks delicious." I grin up at Elliot before digging in and taking my first bite. I groan. _So good._

I look up and find all three of them staring at me. "I feel really self-conscious with all of you staring at me." I look down at the box and poke at a few pieces with my fork.

"Kate...why don't we give these two a few minutes?"

 _These two?_ My head jerks up in time to see Christian giving his brother a slight nod and eyebrow raise. _What the hell does that mean?_ Why do I have a feeling I'm about to get chastised like a two-year-old.

Kate squeezes my shoulder and makes her way to Elliot, who takes her hand and escorts her out of the room. Christian moves and my eyes automatically follow him, seeing him pull out another fork. My eyebrow quirks at him as I watch him make his way around the counter and he takes a seat next to me. He reaches over to my black container full of mac and cheese and my eyes follow his hand. _Holy shit, his hands are sexy._

I squeeze my eyes shut for a second, chastising myself. _What am I thinking?_ How can a hand be classified as sexy?

He pulls the container over so that it's between us and dips his fork in.

"Help yourself there, Grey. Would it be easier if I just fed it to you?" _Wow. Where did that come from?_

His iron gray eyes meet my blue ones and he smirks. "If you would prefer, Miss Steele."

My mouth drops open and his eyebrows raise in amusement. "That's what I thought. Now, eat."

My mouth clicks shut and my look of shock turns into a scowl. _So demanding._

"Eat." He states again, pushing the black container toward me a little.

 _Pick your battles, Steele._ I force my eyes off of his annoyingly-beautiful face and concentrate on getting through this meal. We eat in silence and when the container is empty, I offer to take his fork and throw the container in the trash, the forks in the sink.

I force myself to turn around to face him. I wring my hands, a nervous habit, and clear my throat. "I better get going. Thank you for everything tonight. I appreciate you not poking fun at my embarrassment." My cheeks are heating up as I speak and I keep my eyes on my fumbling fingers. I can't look at him.

Suddenly, his Nike's come into view and my chin is being lifted by his warm fingers. My heart beats hard in my chest, but I push my nerves aside, making eye contact with him and I'm surprised to see concern on his face.

"You don't have any reason to be embarrassed, Anastasia." _Oh?_

"I...well...um, thank you." _Bumbling idiot._

The corners of his mouth pull up into a small smile. "You're more than welcome." He releases my chin and steps back, leaning against the cabinet. "How's your stomach? Does it still hurt?"

I take second and realize my stomach pain is gone. "It's better."

His smile morphs into a relieved grin. "Good." He raises his hand, palm out. "Give me your phone."

"What?" _He's crazy!_

"Let me have your phone."

"Why?"

"So, I can input my number."

 _Oh, wow._

My hand reaches in my back pocket, but stills on top of it. "Say please."

He rolls his eyes and I cock an eyebrow at him.

He lets out a chuckle and throws his hands up in defeat. "Please."

"Please, what?" I ask, trying and failing to conceal my smug grin.

"Please, may I have your phone?" His tone is flat.

I let out a giggle and hand him my phone. "You may."

I wait patiently while he puts his number into my phone and hands it back. "If you ever need anything, please don't hesitate to ask, Miss Steele. I never want what happened tonight to happen again."

"Oh...well, thank you, but I'm sure I'll be fine. It's never happened before and I'm sure it won't again." He cocks an eyebrow, disbelieving. "Really...I'm fine. I've got that interview tomorrow and I'm optimistic."

He gives me a nod. "I have no doubt that they'll hire you, Anastasia."

I want to roll my eyes at him. _He doesn't even know me!_ I know he's just trying to be nice, so I smile sweetly and thank him. I excuse myself and find Kate and Elliot 'wrestling' on the couch. Their lips are locked, they're half-naked, and grinding all over each other.

I hear a cough behind me, and turn my head to see Christian, looking put-off.

Kate jumps off of Elliot and reaches behind her to re-zip her one-piece. I cover my smile behind my hand while she runs around, trying to find her discarded shoes. Elliot watches her in amusement, too, not bothering to get up to help. He lets her fret over finding her shoes for a few more seconds before he reaches behind him and produces both of her shoes. She gives him a scowl and rips them out of his hand.

"You're a menace."

Elliot gives her a cheeky grin.

Kate slips on her black heels and straightens herself before acknowledging my presence.

"Ready?" She asks with a flushed face.

I giggle. "You going to be okay?"

She gives me a playful scowl and rolls her eyes. "I'm fine. Let's go."

XxXxXx

The next morning I wake to my doorbell ringing. I sit up quickly, checking the time.

 _7:00 am._

The doorbell rings again and I jump out of bed, grabbing my fuzzy pink robe, and head towards the door. I look through my peephole and see three people with bags in their hands.

"What the hell?"

I unlock my door and open it a little.

"May I help you?"

"Anastasia Steele?" A blonde man with brown eyes asks.

"Yes?"

"Delivery from Carson's grocery."

"I'm sorry? I didn't order anything." I am beyond confused.

"Here." He hands me a piece of card stock and I step back, allowing the three people with hands full of groceries in, while I look at it.

It's a thick, white, 3x5 card. On one side in silver it reads _Christian Grey._ I flip it over and there's a hand-written note...well, word.

 _Eat._

I laugh. My index finger slides over the word while I grin. _So demanding._

"Miss? Where do you put your dry goods?" I'm pulled out of my moment by a pretty Indian woman.

"Oh, just put everything on the counter. I'll put it away, thank you."

Remembering a tip, I hurry to my handbag and pull out my last bill, a $20. I hand it to the Indian woman, but she puts her hand up, denying it.

"Already taken care of. Have a wonderful day, Miss Steele." She smiles at me and the other two men wave as they make a quick exit.

 _That man._

 ***Christian's POV***

I'm just slipping on my Rolex when I hear my phone vibrate on my nightstand. Looking at the clock, I grin. _Right on time._

 _*Thank you, Christian.*_

 _*You're welcome, Anastasia. Now, do as the card instructs.*_

 _*So domineering, Mr. Grey.*_

I laugh. _*So stubborn, Miss Steele.*_

 _*Not so. As matter-of-fact, I'm making myself an omelette as we speak.*_

 _*Good. Enjoy your plethora of groceries, Miss Steele.*_

 _*Plethora is an understatement, Mr. Grey. They barely fit in my kitchen. Too many for one person. I'm worried it might waste.*_

 _*We can't have that, Miss Steele. Maybe you should cook for two. As a thank you, maybe?*_

I can't help, but hold my breath. I've never had problems with women falling at my feet, quite literally, but with Anastasia...she seems unaffected. It intrigues me.

It takes her a couple of minutes, but she finally texts me back. _*Maybe, I will.*_

I grin. _*Maybe, soon?*_

 _*Maybe, tomorrow?*_

 _*Maybe...*_

 _*Maybe...7ish?*_

"Ish." I state out loud, snorting. I wait a few minutes on purpose, slipping on my jacket and making my way into the kitchen for some orange juice before answering.

 _*Ish.*_


	2. Chapter 2

**We want to thank all of your for your wonderful feedback over the first chapter. It's inspired us to hurry and write this next one! For the fans who don't use Pinterest, we have chosen Devin Paisley as Ethan Kavanagh. You might want to google him before reading. *Beams***

 **Enjoy this next chapter and let us know how you like it!**

 **Much Love,**

 **Stephie and Sanjana**

* * *

 ***Christian's POV***

It's been a long day at work. My mind kept wandering to the dark haired, blue eyed beauty I met on Sunday. I've had Taylor drop me by the florist after work to grab some flowers for Anastasia. My mother has always taught me never to come to dinner empty handed and since the grocer already sent Anastasia wine, I've opted for flowers. I find a bouquet of a dozen white roses and they're perfect. Not too forward, but sophisticated and beautiful. Hopefully, Anastasia likes them.

Taylor drops me off in front of her apartment building and I tell him I'll text him when I'm ready. Her apartment is only ten minutes from my own and, for some reason, I'm pleased by this. She's on the third floor, so I make my way to the elevator with the roses and I'm greeted by an old, black woman who is riding up with me. She stares at me, but I keep my eyes in front of me, ignoring her.

"She's one lucky lady." Her raspy voice mentions.

I can't stop my grin, but I still refuse to look at her. "Thank you."

"First date?"

I chuckle and finally look at her. "Obvious?"

She smiles at me. "Don't kiss her."

My eyebrows knit together and the door opens to the third floor.

"Why not?" I ask, making my way out.

I turn towards her and she grins at me as the doors start to close. "Trust me, boy."

I'm left standing, staring at the elevator doors for a second, dumbstruck, until I remember what the fuck I'm doing. I turn and make my way down the hall, stopping in front of the door labeled '3F'.

I can already smell dinner through the door and my mouth begins to salivate. I had an early lunch and I'm more than ready for dinner. I knock three times on the door and wait. I hear heels on a hardwood floor and then the door opens to a smiling Anastasia.

"Hi." She states as I do a quick sweep of her body. She's got a navy dress with pink flowers on that stops mid-thigh. Her hair is down in waves and she looks incredible. I notice her taking an extra long time raking her own eyes over my suit-clad body and I grin.

"Hi." I answer, sounding amused. Her eyes meet mine again and her cheekbones turn pink. _She knows I've caught her._

"It looks as though I might be a little underdressed." She states, stepping to the side to allow me entry.

I shake my head. "You look great. I came straight from work."

She nods. "Ah. May I take your jacket?"

I shrug off my gray suit jacket and hand it to her. "Thank you."

She takes it from me and opens the door to a small closet just inside the front door and busies herself with hanging it. My eyes skim over her apartment and I notice it is tiny. A studio apartment. Her whole apartment could fit in my bedroom.

My eyes land on the bed and I imagine Anastasia all curled up among the white linen, her dark hair sprawled out over her pillow. An unwelcome thought runs through my mind and I begin to wonder who else has been in her bed.

The door to the closet clicks closed and I turn my attention back to Anastasia. Hers eyes land on the roses in my hand before they return to me.

"These are for you." I hold them out to her and she takes them with a smile.

"Thank you, Christian." She brings them up to her nose and smells them. "I'm just about ready to pull dinner out of the oven. I hope you like lasagna?" She states, making her way towards the sink. I watch the flowy dress wisp around her thighs as she walks and my dick twitches. A visual of her bent over the counter while I hike that skirt up comes to mind and I lick my lips.

She looks over her shoulder at me while she fills a vase with water and I realize that I haven't answered.

"Lasagna is great, Anastasia. Thank you."

"Please, call me Ana." She pleads, placing the roses in the vase.

I make my way towards the kitchen. "But Anastasia is such a beautiful name."

She bends down to pull the lasagna out and I tilt my head to the side, hoping to get a peek of her panties. Unfortunately, it doesn't happen.

"My full name is ever only used when I'm being chastised."

"Well...I'll change that." I tell her, having a seat at the counter in front of one of the place settings. Her eyebrow raises, but she doesn't say anything.

She makes her way to the small fridge and pulls out a large clear bowl full of salad.

"Is there anything I could help with?" I ask her as she places the bowl of salad on the counter top.

"No, thank you. I've got it." She turns back to the opposite counter to cut the bread and I get up to get the wine out of the fridge. I stop in front of the fridge, realizing I've probably just overstepped a boundary.

Anastasia stops cutting the bread and looks over her shoulder at me, her eyebrows knit together.

"I...um...wine?" I ask, rubbing the back of my neck.

She grins and nods towards the fridge. "Go ahead."

I open the fridge and find the six bottles of wine I ordered lined up along the fridge door. I choose the Bollinger, shut the door, and then stop, realizing I have no idea where anything is.

"Corkscrew?"

She smiles at me and wipes her hands on a dish towel before searching through a drawer. She hands it to me and I busy myself with opening the bottle while she finishes with the bread and places it and the lasagna on the counter top in front of our place settings. Once I have removed the cork, I pick up the bottle and realize there are no wine glasses. She's placing the vase of roses on the counter in front of us when she sees my face.

She giggles. "Glasses?"

Her giggle makes my heart jump and I give her a smile. She puts up a finger and turns to retrieve the glasses out of the cabinet.

"Glasses." She states, placing them in front of me.

"Thank you, Miss Steele." I tell her as I pour the wine.

"You're welcome, Mr. Grey."

 ***Ana's POV***

As we sit down to eat, I watch Christian roll up his sleeves and can't help but think that even his forearms are sexy. I force myself to look at my plate, worried I might salivate too much over the man sitting beside me. I'm trying my hardest to keep my cool, but he's just so damn beautiful and I haven't really dated much in the past. I'm quite the novice.

I spent half the day fretting over what I was going to wear and the other half of the day fretting over the apartment and what to make. I don't know much about him, but I know he's done well for himself and I'm worried that he might feel a little claustrophobic in my tiny apartment. He seems pretty comfortable in it, which relieves me.

Once the salad and lasagna are served and we take our first bite, I decide to make small talk.

"I want to thank you again for everything you've done. I've been tearing through the food like there's no tomorrow." I laugh and shake my head. "I probably shouldn't be admitting that I've been stuffing my face..."

He laughs and shakes his head. "No, no. I'm glad to hear it. I like hearing that you're eating."

I blush at the sincerity in his voice. "Well, thank you. I found out this morning that I got the job at SIP, so everything will be back to normal."

"Then that's something to celebrate." He picks up his wine glass and I follow suit, holding it up. "To new jobs."

"And new friends." I add before clinking my glass with his. I take a sip of the wine and hum.

"Good?" He asks.

I nod and place my glass back down. "Very. Thank you. "

He laughs. "Will you stop thanking me? It really isn't a problem. I can't bear seeing you go hungry, Anastasia."

My heart gives a jolt. _He can't bear it?_ He barely even knows me.

"Why?" I ask, unable to stop myself.

He shrugs. "I just know how it feels."

My arm stills with my fork halfway to my mouth, realizing. "You're adopted...like Mia?"

He sighs and wipes his mouth with the napkin. "Yes, but I don't like to talk about it."

"I understand." I'm now curious where he came from, but I know it isn't any of my business.

"Tell me about your family."

"Um...well, I'm an only child and my birth father, Frank Lambert, died right after I was born. My mother, Carla, lives in Georgia with her fourth husband and Ray, the man I call Dad...husband number two...lives in Montesano."

"Four husbands, huh?"

I shrug. "My mother...she's sort of a hopeless romantic. She's in love with being in love."

"And you?"

"And me?" I look at him and he searches my face.

"A hopeless romantic?"

I snort. "My degree _is_ in English Literature."

He grins at me and nods. "Point taken, Miss Steele."

"My standards are higher than my mother's." I add, looking him straight in the eye, not wanting him to think I'm as flaky as my mother.

"Noted."

I pick at my lasagna with my fork. "How old are you, Christian?"

"Twenty-seven."

I nod. Five years isn't too bad. If Kate can date a thirty-one year old, I'm definitely not going to fret about five measly years.

"And you?"

"Twenty-two."

His eyebrows knit together. "Young." He states, thinking. "And Kate?"

I grin. "Same."

"Cradle robber." He murmurs under his breath, making me laugh.

"Elliot seems to have this free-spirited, green soul that's good for Kate. He makes her laugh...she needs that." _...And Elliot isn't the oldest she's ever been with..._

"And my soul?"

I look at him. "What do you mean?"

"What do you think my soul is like?"

I search his face, not knowing how to answer. "You seem like a serious soul." When he gives me a questioning look, I continue. "You're obviously driven, considering you're in your twenties and own your own company and you consider yourself a type of caregiver, caring for the people around you. You didn't even know me, Christian, but you went out of your way to make sure I was okay. The well-being of others is important to you. If I had to guess, I would imagine that the benefits you give your employees are some of the best around."

A smirk forms on his face and he looks down at his almost empty plate. "I offer free healthcare to all my employees."

I giggle. "That's incredible, Christian." I look down at his empty plate. "Ready for dessert?"

His tongue slips out of his mouth and runs along his bottom. _Oh, god._ "Please."

I force my eyes off of his incredible mouth and stand, taking our plates to the sink and place the rest of the food on the stove. I open the freezer and pull out the Ben and Jerry's vanilla ice cream along with a bunch of toppings. With my hands full, I make my way back to the counter and place them in front of Christian.

"A bit plain, isn't it?" He asks, teasing.

"Ah, too quickly are you disregarding the potential for something so great." I tell him, pulling out a couple bowls and spoons. "You see, it starts out as plain vanilla..." I explain, dipping some ice cream into his bowl, "but the choice is yours on how you spice it up." I wave my hand over all of the toppings. "You aren't stuck with the same ole thing every single time."

He's smirking up at me and I giggle. "May I?"

He nods. "You may."

"I call this the Ana special." I tell him, first adding hot fudge, then picking up the whipped cream can and shaking it, adding extra whipped cream. I take the chocolate shavings out of their container and sprinkle them on and then add strawberry syrup. I realize I forgot the the cherries and put my finger up while I grab them out of the fridge.

"There we go...and one cherry, from me to you." I tell him plopping it on top.

He gives me a roguish grin. "Ana's cherry, huh? Lucky me."

 _Oh. My. God._ I know my face must be crimson, but I do my best to ignore his cheeky comment and hand him his spoon. "Your spoon, Christian."

"Thank you, Anastasia." He takes the spoon and places it in his bowl, but I see he waits while I make mine.

Once mine is made and I've settled into my seat, he raises his spoon with a scoop of ice cream on it. "Cheers."

I clink my spoon with his. "Cheers."

XxXxXx

I hand Christian his jacket. "This was fun."

He smiles. "It was."

I reach for the handle on the door and open it, allowing him an exit. "Have a-ETHAN?"

Kates brother, my friend, Ethan is standing at the door soaking wet. "What's going on? Come in."

He makes his way in with his hands in his hoodie pocket and I hear him sniffle. I loop my hand into the crook of his arm and steer him toward the couch.

"You're soaked! What happened? Take that off." I tell him, pulling at his hoodie. He's going to freeze.

He helps me pull his hoodie off and then his t-shirt. I grab the throw off the back of my futon and wrap it around his arms. "Have a seat. Let me throw these in the dryer."

He makes his way towards my bed and I point a finger at him. "Freeze! Your pants are soaked! Couch!"

He runs his fingers through his wet, shaggy, blonde hair and plops down on my white futon. I throw his wet tops in the dryer and start it before grabbing the kettle and putting it on the stove to boil. I make my way back over to him and have a seat next to him, tucking my feet under me.

"Now tell me what happened."

His hand goes to my leg, playing the the bottom hem of my dress. "I came home early from my hiking trip since the weather has been so bad and found Rosie and Jose in bed together."

I gasp. "No!" Rosie has been Ethan's girlfriend for six months. She moved in with him just over a month ago, when her parents kicked her out. "Oh, Ethan. I'm so sorry." I slide closer to him and wrap my arms around his arm, squeezing it. "What'd she say?"

He sighs and his head drops back against the futon. "She's been sleeping with him for a month."

"What a bitch."

He lets out a pathetic laugh and nods.

"I like this dress..." He mentions, looking down at the hem he's playing with.

I roll my eyes. "Don't try to change the subject."

"I don't want to talk about it, Stasia. I told her she had two days to get her stuff and get out. Do you mind if I stay a couple nights?"

"Of course, I don't mind. Are you hungry? I made lasagna."

He gives me a true, Ethan smile.

"With sour cream?" I ask, knowing.

"You know just how to make a bloke feel better."

I giggle and pat his knee before I get up to fetch his dinner. I warm his lasagna in the microwave, adding a dollop of sour cream on top, and by the time I'm done, the kettle whistles. I pour us both a cup of hot water and place a tea bag in his, leaving mine on the side while I place everything on the tray. I add a couple pieces of Italian bread on the tray next to his lasagna and carry it over. Once it's on the coffee table, I dip my Twinings English Breakfast Tea in quickly before yanking it back out.

"You know you're wasting our favorite tea by doing that?" Ethan states, grabbing my tea bag off my saucer and dunking it in his cup.

I wrinkle my nose. We might share a love for the same tea, but our tastes are still very different.

I hold up my cup and wait for him to stir in his sugar. "To new beginnings."

He grins and I notice his hair has fallen in his face. _He really needs a haircut._ I reach up and brush the hair off his forehead before we clink our cups together.

I sit back, enjoying my tea while he takes his first bite of lasagna.

He groans. "I love your lasagna." He states with a full mouth.

There's a throat being cleared behind us and I almost jump out of my skin. Turning quickly, I see Christian still standing at the door. I set my cup on the coffee table and hand Ethan the TV remote. "Knock yourself out."

I make my way to Christian. "Christian...I didn't know you were still here."

He shrugs. "We didn't really say goodbye."

I smile up at him. "I guess we didn't. Are you sure you don't want to take some lasagna home? I have plenty."

"No she doesn't!" Ethan calls from the couch.

"You hush!" I warn, before turning back to Christian. "That's Ethan...Kate's brother. Just ignore him."

Christian's eyebrows knit together, but he nods.

"So, lasagna?"

"Yea, why not."

I grin. "Great!"

I make my way towards the kitchen and pull out a Rubbermaid container, cutting Christian off a big chunk.

"You know, I like mine with Parmesan." His voice is soft in my ear, his breath warm on my neck, and his arm tightens around my waist. As quick as he's there, he's gone. I look back to find him leaning against the opposite counter, his arms folded across his chest, looking nonchalant.

I'm breathless from the sudden attack on my senses, so I nod instead of reply. I make my way to the fridge, putting all my energy into keeping my now jello-legs from making me fall. The last thing I want is for him to have to catch me again. I find the Parmesan and make my way back towards the container, sprinkling on a fair amount before closing the lid.

"All set, Mr. Grey."

"Thank you, Miss Steele." He passes the counter and stops by the open jar of cherries, reaching in and grabbing one. He pops it into his mouth and winks. "Ana's cherry."

My breath catches in my throat, causing me to cough. _Cocky and domineering._

He keeps his smug grin on his face as we make our way to the door and I want to kick him in the backside for it.

Once we make it to the door, he takes my hand and pulls me closer to him, gripping my waist. My hands find his arms and I look up at him. _Is he really going to do what I think he is?_

His eyes dance around my face, his eyes darkening. _Kiss me! Just do it! What are you waiting for?_ He leans in slowly and I hold my breath, waiting. His lips miss mine and end up against my ear.

"Sweet dreams, Anastasia." He says quietly, his baritone voice resonating through my ear canal, making me shiver. I squeeze my eyes shut, forcing myself to keep my senses and when I open them, he's staring down at me, grinning.

I clear my throat. "Good-Goodnight Christian."

He squeezes my waist and releases me, letting himself out. I lean up against the back of the door and let out a deep sigh.

"What the hell was that about?" Ethan asks from the couch.

"Just shut up and eat your lasagna."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: This one jumps back and forth between POV's a lot, so we're sorry if anyone gets whiplash. We hope you enjoy this chapter!**

 **Cheers!**

 **Stephie and Sanjana**

 ***Christian's POV***

I stare at the closed door of Anastasia's apartment, like a fool, wondering what the fuck just happened and trying to listen to what's going on with Anastasia and the half-naked blonde fucker.

 _What the fuck just happened?_ I must have stood there for ten minutes while she cooed over the good looking bastard, not even noticing I was still there. I've never had to deal with this shit before. An unwelcome emotion comes over me, and I suddenly want to crush the fucker's skull for stealing my last moment with Anastasia.

 _Why the hell are they so close? Why the fuck is he so handsy with her?_

A picture of them curled up in bed together keeps popping into my mind on the way down the elevator and it takes everything in me not to stomp back up the stairs and demand that he leave. If he's Kate's brother, why didn't he stay with her? He obviously wanted Anastasia to comfort him. He'll probably use his damn sob story to manipulate her into bed. He had his hands all over her thighs and she didn't even batt an eye. Has he had her before? Are they fuck buddies?

Taylor opens my door and I slide in, ignoring him. I'm too angry and upset to deal with him. When he climbs in the front seat, I don't miss the worried glance he gives me through the rearview mirror, but I pretend not to notice. I look up at the building as we drive away, knowing that she's curled up, warm and cozy with the Kavanagh bastard.

We drive home in silence as I sit and brood, and when I make it to Escala, I go straight to my baby grande and start to play. It's the only thing that I have left that numbs my brain. Every brain cell is screaming for me to call Elena to find me a little brunette to beat, but I need to stay strong and keep my distance from her. It would feel good in the moment, but afterward, the guilt would eat me alive. _What would Elliot think of me?_

I know that I wouldn't be happy with any brunette Elena offered up on a silver platter. I don't want just anyone, I want Anastasia. I close my eyes as I play and a visual of her on her knees on my leather floor in the playroom comes to mind. My dick begins to rise, but my visual is interrupted by my brother's voice.

 _'What kind of sick fuck are you?'_

My eyes open and my fingers still on the keys of the piano. _Could I have vanilla with Anastasia?_

I visualize Anastasia smiling below me as I move slowly on top of her and my dick grows again. _Why is it so easy with her?_ _Why have I never tried this vanilla shit before?_ I try to visualize having vanilla with my prior subs, but my dick deflates quickly.

 _It's Ana._ I only want Anastasia.

I let my fingers fly gracefully over the keys as I think back to this evening and the vanilla ice cream. The irony of the situation isn't wasted and I chuckle. _The girl has definitely sold me on vanilla._ I could use another of those cherries... _Ana's cherry._ The reddening of her cheeks when I teased her was amusing. She's shy about sex and I wonder how experienced she truly is. She was so bashful and insecure about my cheeky comments, it makes her seem quite inexperienced. Surprisingly, I find myself liking it. I actually like it a lot.

In the past, I've always asked for experienced subs; I didn't want to take the time to break them in or deal with them misbehaving. With Ana...I want her green. I want to open a whole new world for her; I want to teach her how good it can be and watch her fall apart in front of me.

That Kavanagh fucker can just fuck off. Anastasia is mine.

 ***Ana's POV***

Ethan left for home about an hour ago and I've spent the last hour cleaning up the mess. I love Ethan and all, but he's a complete pig. I now understand why he pays someone to come in and clean his apartment twice a week.

I just finish vacuuming the area rug when my phone goes off.

 _*Good morning, Anastasia.*_

 _It's Christian._ My heart jumps in my chest and I'm mad at myself for it. He hasn't sent me a text since he left on Tuesday night and a part of me is annoyed. I kept randomly checking my phone every hour, looking for texts, and got nothing; I was starting to think I did something wrong. I know Ethan showing up wasn't the best thing, but I couldn't just ignore one of my best friends. He was cold, wet, and upset. I can't turn him away for some guy I've met twice.

 _*Christian.*_ I keep it short, hoping he can sense my annoyance with him.

 _*Up for dinner tonight? Say...6ish?*_

I scowl at the phone. _*Not sure. I have to check my schedule, Christian.*_

 _*Text me soon?*_

 _*I have things to do. I can't just stop everything I'm doing just because you've decided to text me.*_

 _*Can I call you?*_

I stare at my phone. Part of me wants to say no, but before I can even reply, my phone starts to go off. I stab the answer button and put it to my ear.

"Why even ask if you're just going to do it anyway?"

"Did I do something to upset you?"

I let out a laugh. "Nope. I'm fine."

"Sarcasm doesn't suit you, Miss Steele."

"Me? Sarcastic? _Never_."

I hear him sigh. "You are so infuriating, Anastasia."

"You ignore me all week and then expect me to stop what I'm doing just because you are ready to see me again...and _I'm infuriating_?"

He gives a sardonic laugh. "I didn't expect you to notice since you've been shacking up with that Bieber wannabe."

My mouth drops open in shock. "Bie-Bieber wannabe?" I can't help, but laugh at the comment. "He's just a friend, Christian."

"If you say so."

I shake my head, grinning at the situation. "Is this what this is all about? Yes, Christian. I say so. Just a friend."

"If he's just a friend, then see me tonight."

My frustration with him turns into a nervous excitement.

"Don't make me come over there and beg at your feet. These tailored pants don't give enough for that."

I giggle. "Okay, okay. Spare your pants. I'll go."

"Great. My pants thank you, Miss Steele. I'll pick you up at 6:30?"

"Ish." I answer, grinning. "See you then."

I hit the end button and bounce a few times in excitement. _Shit._ _I forgot to ask him what I should wear..._ I run to my closet.

After spending a half an hour on Skype with Kate while I'm in my closet, we decide on white skinny jeans and a navy sleeveless blouse with a bow. We decide on gold bangel bracelets and flat gold sandals to match.

I spend the next two hours cleaning my apartment from top to bottom before jumping in the shower to get ready for the evening.

I dry my hair, throwing it up in a high bun, before doing my makeup. I keep my makeup light and grab my white lace underwear set. I hate wearing thongs, but with these pants, I have no choice. I scrunch my nose as I look down at them. _Why even wear any?_ I snort at the thought. I would never be comfortable being bare. It's definitely better than nothing.

Once I'm dressed completely, I check myself over again, making sure I look presentable. I turn and look at my backside, making sure I don't have pantie-line and hear my doorbell ring. My heart jumps again. I take a deep, steadying breath and make my way toward the door, grabbing my gold clutch on the way out.

I pull the door open and my breath leaves me. I don't know if I'll ever get use to just how beautiful this man is. He's giving me a pantie-dropper smile and I almost liquify into a puddle at his feet. _Why does this man want anything to do with little ole me?_ My eyes run down his body and he looks delicious. Wearing dark wash jeans, a navy button down, and navy jacket...he's absolutely edible. It looks like he hasn't shaved in a few days and I find myself wanting to run my fingers over his strong jawline just to know what it feels like. My eyes finally meet his again and his iron gray eyes are regarding me with intensity.

My lip finds its way between my teeth, a habit I've always had when I'm anxious, and I have to look away. I concentrate on his expensive brown leather shoes. _They probably cost more than my whole outfit._

"Good evening, Anastasia."

I've been so enamored with his beauty, I had forgotten to greet him. My eyes meet his again and I give him a smile.

"Hello, Christian."

"You look beautiful." He states, handing me a single red rose I hadn't even noticed until now.

"Such a charmer, Mr. Grey."

He smiles. "Am I?" He looks pleased with himself and it annoys me enough to be able to take a step back and think clearly.

 ***Christian's POV***

 _Why does she have to bite that damn lip of hers?_ As soon as she bows her head I have to look away. I'm disappointed with myself for being aroused by the action.

I'm relieved to know that I'm doing this whole dating thing right when she compliments me, but as she steps away from me I realize that it might have been subtle sarcasm.

"I'm just going to put this with the others." She states and I step into her tiny apartment, closing the door behind me. I look around, happy to see no traces of that bastard anywhere.

"Are you ready?" She asks, making her way back over to me.

I grin. "After you, Miss Steele."

"Thank you, Mr. Grey."

We step into the hall and she stops and locks the deadbolt before we head out. When she turns back around, I offer her my hand. _I want to touch her._

I'm rewarded with a shy smile and a pink tinge to her cheeks before she slips her small, soft hand into mine. Goosebumps form over my arm as our fingers lace and I thank fuck that I am wearing a sports jacket. I begin to move and notice she isn't moving with me.

I dip my head down to find her eyes and her eyes lift and meet mine. "Everything okay?"

She giggles and shakes her head. "Yes...yes, of course. Let's go."

As we make our way into the elevator and the doors close, the hair on the back of my neck raises. There's a charge in the air and I feel drawn to Anastasia. I look down at her and see her looking up at me with that lip between her teeth. I want to throw her against the wall and attack her, but I have to remind myself to remain a gentleman. She's not my property to do with as I please. I don't want to scare her.

We aren't in the elevator long and I escort her out into the parking lot, opening her door for her.

"This is your car?"

"No. I just chose a car at random. Lucky it was unlocked, really." I decide to use her sarcasm against her.

"You have great taste. I'd lift it, too." She states, without missing a beat, before slipping into the car.

I shut the door for her and shake my head on the way to the driver's side. _I'll never win this game._

"So, where are we going?"

"SP's Place. Have you heard of it?"

She shakes her head. "No, I haven't."

"It's a local favorite on the Marina. Beautiful view of the boats and water."

She smiles. "Sounds great."

I notice that her palm is resting on her thigh and I can't help, but reach over and place mine on top of hers. Her fingers spread and she laces her fingers with mine. It's a simple gesture, but I still feel the sparks shooting up my arm from the contact. I want to study her face to see if she's as affected by me as I am her, but being behind the wheel ruins any plans of that.

I slide into the parking spot with ease and have to release her hand to park the car.

"Stay." I tell her before climbing out and hurrying over to open her door.

I offer my hand and she climbs out of the car. "How do you manage to be so demanding and so chivalrous at the same time?"

I offer a pantie-dropper smile. "It's an art."

"An art you have perfected, Mr. Grey."

I wiggle my eyebrows at her and she giggles.

"I love that sound."

She becomes shy and looks down at the ground with her lip between her teeth. _Is it too early to kiss her?_

I decide to give her an easy out and release her hand to wrap an arm around her back. "Come on, Miss Steele. Let's eat."

We're seated by the window, looking out on the Sound, and almost immediately we are greeted by our waitress.

"Hello, my name is..." I look up at the redhead and her sentence trails off. I raise my eyebrows expectantly and she remembers herself and clears her throat. "I'm Sandra and I'll be your waitress." She smiles at me and cocks her head to the side. "What can I get you to drink, sir?"

I look across the table at Anastasia. "Do you like beer?"

She nods and I smile. "We'll have two Adnams Explorers." I tell Sandra, my eyes meeting her green ones. She batts her eyes at me and I feel a hand suddenly gripping mine on the table. I look down at our connected hands and then to Anastasia, who is shooting daggers at our waitress.

"We'd like our drinks, please." Anastasia states, annoyed. The waitress disappears and Anastasia huffs. "Honestly...how rude can you be?"

I laugh and turn my hand over so that our palms are touching and lace my fingers with hers. "What is this?" I ask, giving her hand a squeeze. "Claiming me already, Miss Steele?"

"You're one to talk! You've had an iron grip on my hand all night. That little wench needs to learn some manners... I am sitting right here for goodness sake!"

I smirk at Anastasia's frustrated state. "No need to feel threatened, Miss Steele. She's not my type."

"And what is your type?"

I shrug. "I have a thing for brunettes who can't stay conscious. They're a real catch."

She lowers her head and blushes. "I'm never going to live that down, am I?"

"Probably not...but it better never happen again."

She shakes her head and her big blue eyes meet mine. "It won't. I start work on Monday, so everything will be fine."

I squeeze her hand again. "That's good to hear, Anastasia."

Sandra brings our beers, but I keep my eyes on Anastasia, purposely ignoring our waitress. Anastasia thanks her and she walks off.

"So what are you having?" Anastasia asks, releasing my hand so she can look at her menu.

"The seafood chowder. It's the best around."

I watch her shut her menu. "I trust your judgement. I'll have the same."

I grin. "You trust my judgement, huh?"

She giggles. "You don't seem the type to mess about when it comes to food."

"Life is too short to deal with bad food, cheap drinks, and fake people Miss Steele." I wink, repeating what my father's always said.

She cocks her eyebrow at me. "I think I read that on a t-shirt once."

I laugh. "I wouldn't be surprised. It came from my father. He probably has said shirt."

 ***Ana's POV***

Dinner went really well. Christian convinced me to share dessert and I'm full to the brim.

"I am so full." I mention, sitting back in my chair.

He chuckles. "Then how about we walk some of this food off, Anastasia?"

I nod. _That's actually a great idea._ "That sounds great."

He pulls out his wallet and produces a black credit card, handing it to our waitress without even looking over the check.

When she brings it back, she smiles and batts her eyes at him. "Thank you, Mr. Grey. Have a wonderful evening."

 _Hussy._

I roll my eyes while he signs the check.

"Thank you, Sandra." He states, handing it back to her. "You ready, baby?"

My whole body startles at the name he calls me. _Oh, I like that._ I smile and nod.

"I'm ready."

He smiles and winks at me as he stands and takes my hand. I can feel my cheeks burning. _Will I ever get use to this?_ He's such a flirt.

We make our way out the back of the restaurant and onto the boardwalk. There's a chill in the air and I shiver, goosebumps forming. _Maybe this wasn't such a good idea..._ I really should have thought about grabbing a jacket.

"Here." Christian releases my hand and shrugs off his sports jacket.

 _What?_ "No...no, Christian. I'm okay...really."

"Hush." He slips the jacket over my shoulders and immediately feel the warmth from the jacket that his body heat has created. I can't help a sigh and grip the jacket, holding it closed against my chest.

"There isn't anything wrong with letting someone take care of you, Miss Steele."

I find myself blushing for what seems like the twentieth time tonight. _How does he know?_ I've always been independent; I don't like having to depend on anyone. The last person I depended on chose her boyfriend over her own daughter. If a girl can't depend on her own mother, who can she depend on?

"What if you get cold, Christian?"

He smirks. "Well, then I'll just have to depend on you to keep me warm." His arms wrap around me from behind and he nuzzles his nose against my ear. "Mmm, warmth."

Suddenly, I'm finding it hard to walk. I falter in my steps and hear him chuckle in my ear.

"Is there a problem?"

I clear my throat and dig deep to find my bearings, praying that I get my crap together. "Nope."

He releases me and appears back at my side, while I slip my arms into the sleeves of his jacket.

"Come on, I want to show you something." He takes my hand and laces his fingers with mine. _He is so affectionate._

 ***Christian's POV***

We walk for a few minutes, enjoying the comfortable quiet of just being close to one another, when we come across an outside bar with what looks like a few rowdy college girls sitting at a table, drunk. My eyes sweep over the table and my whole body goes rigid when I see a brunette with blue eyes sipping her drink. _Malibu and pineapple, I'm sure._ Her drink of choice.

I look away quickly, hoping she doesn't notice me, and if she does, hoping she ignores me. I release Ana's hand and throw my arm over her shoulders, hoping to keep her from running if Susannah decides to make a scene.

Unfortunately, I'm not lucky enough to be ignored.

"Sir?"

"Shit." I whisper under my breath.

I watch her stand and make her way over, eyeing Anastasia as she does.

"Hello, Susannah."

"Hello, si-Mr. Grey. It's good to see you."

I give her a nod. _I really can't say the same._

"This is Anastasia...my date." I tell her, seeing that she can't keep her eyes off Anastasia.

Her eyebrows knit together, I'm sure she's shocked and maybe a bit put-off, but she recovers quickly and offers her hand. "Nice to meet you. I'm Susannah. Mr. Grey's...um...ex."

Anastasia looks a bit baffled. "Oh, likewise, Susannah."

The girls from the patio bar are yelling for her and she looks back, smiling at them. "I better go, have a great night, sir. Call me if you need me." She winks and turns away from us and I continue to walk...maybe a bit quicker, to get away from her.

Anastasia giggles. "Call me if you need me...pathetic." She murmurs, shaking her head.

"I most certainly will not be calling her." I answer.

"Mr. Grey? Sir? How very formal of her."

I roll my eyes. "She was drunk, Anastasia."

"I guess." She sighs. "You definitely have a type, don't you, _sir_? Did she fall at your feet, too?"

"Don't call me that." I've worked so hard to move past that part of my life and I don't want to backtrack. _She has no idea just how often Susannah fell at my feet._

"I'm sorry, Christian. I didn't mean to upset you."

I sigh. I hadn't realized just how harshly that comment came out. "It's alright, Anastasia. She's an ex for a reason. I don't want to dwell on this."

We've made it to my gate and I type in the four-digit code to the private marina I share with five other people. The iron gate buzzes and I pull it open, allowing Ana in first. I close it behind us, making sure it locks in place, before continuing along the dock.

"These are so beautiful, Christian. Is one of them yours?"

I grin down at her and take her hand in mine. "Yes, the on there on the end." I point to my sailboat.

"The biggest...of course." Anastasia teases, squeezing my hand.

When we get closer, she sees the name. "The Grace...isn't that your mother's name?"

I nod. "It is."

She turns towards me and grins. "That's so sweet, Christian."

I shrug. "She saved me from a lot of bullshit."

"If you are hoping that by cursing, it takes away the sweetness of the gesture, it isn't working." Anastasia smiles up at me.

"Damn. I was hoping to hold onto my masculinity a little longer."

She giggles. "It isn't emasculating, Christian. Just endearing."

I quirk an eyebrow and wrap my arms around her and pull her to me. "Hmm, so you have a thing for softies?"

She smiles and reaches up to rub her fingers over my stubble. "If that's what you're going for, this is a good start to becoming a teddy bear."

I smirk and press my forehead against hers. "You like the stubble?" She nods against me. "Then I'll keep it."

She smiles up at me and her blue eyes sparkle. Her lip becomes trapped between her perfectly white teeth and my dick awakens. _Fuck, I want to bite that lip._

I force myself to take a deep breath through my nose and straighten up. _I need to be a gentleman._

I try to take a step back, but Anastasia's hands are on biceps, keeping me in place. Looking down at her, I see her eyes darken. _Fuck it._

I pounce on her, my lips finding hers, and feel a sharp breath of air from her nose on my face, as I press her against the wooden pillar. She's startled, but it doesn't take her long to respond. Her lips move with mine and I run the tip of my tongue across the seam of her lips, willing them to open, and groan when she gives me access. She tastes of ice cream and Adnams and I find myself using my body to pin her against the pillar. I keep myself from rolling my hips into her, not wanting to scare her. Her hands leave my biceps and move to my back and I grab her arms quickly, wrapping them around my shoulders, and am relieved when both hands find my hair. An arm goes back around her small waist while the other hand cups the back of her neck, pulling her closer to me. Her hips grind against my erection and I pull my lips off of hers. _Slow it down, Grey._ _You're not an animal._

I certainly feel like one though...I'm ravenous for her.

 ***Ana's POV***

"Would you like to come in for a bit? Maybe watch a movie?" I ask Christian as I slide my key into the lock of my apartment, seeing that it's only just 10:00 pm.

He smiles. "Yea, sure."

I flip the lights on and throw my clutch on the counter. "Would you mind terribly if I went and changed out of these tight pants? I ate way too much tonight."

"Of course not."

I grin back at him, relieved. "The DVD's are below the television. Take your pick."

"Mind if I open some wine?" He asks, eyeing the fridge. "Or did Bieber wannabe drink it all?"

"Hardy-har-har, Mr. Grey. It just so happens that Ethan is more of a beer drinker. Help yourself."

I pull out a gray pair of Nike shorts and a black tank before disappearing into the bathroom. I peel myself out of my pants and shirt and am about to pull off the uncomfortable thong, but for one...I don't have others to replace it and I don't feel comfortable going without anything, especially in such tiny shorts, and two...there is a part of me that is hoping that Christian will get to see them. Just the thought makes me blush profusely.

 _Crap. Get yourself together, Steele!_ I fan myself with a magazine, trying to calm my flush. _Stop being awkward!_

Once I feel like my cheeks have cooled enough and I spray on some of my Victoria Secret perfume, I make my way back into the room barefoot. I see Christian bent down in front of the TV, looking through movies while the wine and two glasses sit on the coffee table. He hears my footsteps and stops what he's doing to look up at me. His whole body stills and his jaw drops a little, making me smirk.

"Nice legs."

I giggle and continue to the couch, pouring both of us wine. he's crouched over with his ass in the air and I can't stop myself.

"Nice backside."

I hear him chuckle and he shakes it a little. "I know."

"And a cocky backside at that." I add, rolling my eyes. I take a sip of my wine and try to be patient, but he's taking his damn time. "Just pick one, Grey!"

He sighs dramatically and pulls out a DVD. _Friends With Benefits._ Is that suppose to be a hint?

"JT's backside!" I rub my hands together. "Great pick."

He rolls his eyes. "Mine is better."

I giggle. "I'm sure." I stand to help, but he shoo's me away.

"You know Mila Kunis shows her ass in this, too."

I shake my head. "It's a butt-double."

"Way to ruin the whole fucking movie, Anastasia."

"How do you know mine isn't better?"

He turns and grins at me. "Slip out of those tiny shorts and I'll let you know."

I burn crimson and take a deep swig of my wine, trying to hide my blush. _I can't even respond to that._

I hear him snickering while he busies himself with turning the DVD on.

"Get the lights." He states, looking over his shoulder.

I give him an incredulous look.

"...Please." He adds and I nod.

"That's better." _One day he might learn some manners._

I hop up to hit the lights and pull the throw off the end of my bed to cover my cold legs with. I settle myself back down in the crook of the couch, facing the TV and cover myself up with my fuzzy throw. I watch as Christian slips his shoes off and then plops down right beside me. _How am I suppose to concentrate on the movie now?_ I breathe in his smell...a bergamot, amberwood, clean type of smell that makes my whole body hum. I've never had such a reaction from a smell before...but then again, I've never smelled anything like Christian before. _I wonder if he tastes just as good..._

My eyes wander to the skin on the side of his neck before I realize where my thoughts have landed. _What the hell is happening to me? Concentrate on the movie, Steele. Look away from the man. He isn't a popsicle._

"Don't be a blanket hog." Suddenly, I realize his iron gray eyes are looking directly into mine, pulling my out of my thoughts.

"Huh?" _Smooth._

He grins and pulls on the blanket.

"Oh! I'm sorry, here." I move the blanket so he a sufficient amount of throw.

"You okay?" He looks worried.

"Mmhmm." _Just thinking about making you into a human popsicle is all..._

 ***Christian's POV***

As we watch the movie, I can feel the anxiety pouring out of her. I'm not sure what has caused it, if I had said something or done something unknowingly, but it's making me uneasy. Out of the corner of my eye I can see her chewing her lip and all I want to do is pull her under me and make her feel better. Our night has gone so well and I'd hate for it to end on an uneasy note.

I slide my hand from my leg, across her lap, and rest it on her opposite leg to try and comfort her. I hear a small gasp from her. _Her skin is s_ _o soft._ I run my thumb in circles on the inside of her thigh, comforting her.

"Why so tense?" I ask, looking down at her.

She shrugs. "This is all new to me."

My eyebrows knit together. "What do you mean? Didn't you just do this same thing with Kavanagh?" I can't keep the venom out of my voice.

"It's different." She explains, biting her lip.

I groan. "I want to bite that lip."

Her lip pops free. "No one's stopping you."

 _Oh, fuck._

I pivot towards her and cup the back of her neck, bringing her face to mine. I let my lips ghost over hers before nipping her bottom lip, pulling it into my mouth so I can suck on it. She whimpers and clings to my biceps. I drag her lip between my teeth and release it, kissing her a few more times. The small gesture has her panting and she opens her eyes, blinking up at me.

"Christian..." Her voice is small and barely audible.

"Yes, baby?"

"I want you."

A slow grin forms on my face. "All you had to do is say so."

I lean up on my knee and grab her calves, yanking her down the futon so that she's laying on it. She lets out a squeal as I do so.

"Oh, my." Her comment makes me smile and I maneuver myself so that I'm resting on top of her.

"Indeed, Miss Steele." I capture her lips again and this time, she's eager to reciprocate.

I use an elbow to hold most of my weight off of her while the other hand wanders around her body, finding its way under the hem of her shirt and to her ribs. I feel her hands slide from their place in my hair, down my shoulders and when they don't stop, I pull away from her mouth quickly, making her freeze.

She's dragging in deep, lungfuls of air through her red, swollen lips and I'm finding them irresistible. I kiss her quickly on the lips.

"Only touch me above my shoulders. I'll explain after." I say against her lips before I attack her again.

Suddenly, she's resisting and I pull back enough to look at her. "What is it?"

"There's something I need to tell you."

I groan and kiss her chin and leave a trail down to her neck where I nibble on her pulse point. "Can't it wait til after?"

"By then, it'll be too late."

 _Okay, now I'm intrigued._

I pull my face out of her neck and look down at her. "What is it, Anastasia?"

She bites that damn bottom lip again and looks away. "I...um...I've never done this."

"Done what?" _What in the hell is she talking about?_

Her eyes find mine again and her face heats up. "I've never had..."

"Had? Had what?" My heart drops into my stomach. "Had sex?"

She shakes her head.

"You're a _virgin_?"

She nods and covers her face with both hands.

 _How the fuck does this happen?_

"Baby, look at me." She peeks through her fingers at me. "This is not something you should be embarrassed about."

"I shouldn't?" She's unsure.

"No. It's incredible, Anastasia." _I want it._

Her hands fall away from her face. "It is?"

I smile. "Absolutely." I lean down to kiss her. "Are you sure you want me to..." _She's giving me her innocence. Do I even deserve it?_

She reaches up and slips both hands through my hair. "Absolutely. I want you Christian...please."

I groan and kiss her hard. _If she's choosing me, then I'm going to make this as special as I can._ "Not here. The bed."

I climb off of her and scoop her up, carrying her to the bed, telling myself to be patient. For the first time in my life I'm going to do something other than a hard fuck. _A first for both of us, I suppose._

Once she's laying in the middle of the bed, I take her in. _She's so fucking beautiful._

"Birth control?"

Her eyes widen. "Oh, no!"

I smile. "Relax. I keep a spare." I need to thank Elliot for teaching me freshman year to always keep two in my wallet.

I begin to unbutton my shirt. "Remember, shoulders and above." _I really don't want to restrain her._

She nods. "I remember." Her eyes follow my fingers as they work their way down my shirt and I see her shimmy her hips a bit. _Someone's impatient._

Once my shirt is on the floor, I climb up the bed and hover over her, kissing her deeply. "Ready?"

She nods. "Please."

"Sit up."

She follows my directions and I quickly find the hem of her tank top, pulling it over her head, revealing her lacy white bra. "Beautiful, Anastasia."

I see her cheeks tinge as her head finds her pillow again. Before, I found her blushing amusing, but now that I know of her innocence, I find it quite enchanting.

I dip my thumbs into the waistband of her shorts and pull them down her legs, revealing a matching white lace thong.

"Fucking phenomenal." I murmur, throwing her shorts behind me. I can't help myself; I lean down and nuzzle the small swatch of lace at the apex of her thighs, breathing deeply. I feel her thighs tremble on each side of my face and I press my lips to the white lace. _Mine._ The thought of me being the only fucker to do this, to be this close and to enjoy her like this, is probably the most satisfied I have ever felt. _She is mine. This is mine._

I hear her sigh and I continue to kiss my way up her body. When I reach her chest, I slide an arm under her and unsnap her bra, pulling it off of her. It lands somewhere behind us and I take in her naked form. Her arms go up to hide herself, but I grab them, pinning them to her sides.

"Never hide from me, Anastasia." She takes a deep breath to calm herself and nods, so I release her arms. "Beautiful."

I lean down and kiss her nipple before taking it into my mouth.

"Oh, Christian..." She moans and I look up just in time to see her head falling back.

My hand finds the opposite breast and she grinds against me. She's gripping the duvet and mewling and I begin to wonder if I can get her off like this. I switch breasts and watch her as her head rolls back and forth. I can see she's fighting it, unfamiliar with the sensation.

I release her nipple. "It's okay, Ana. Let it happen." I latch onto her again and soon, she's writhing below me, moaning my name. Her hips come off the bed and I slow my suction, working her down from her high.

I lift up on my elbows and watch her as she lies there, panting with her eyes closed.

"Alive?" I ask, a smug grin on my face.

"Mmhmm." She states, grinning.

"Have you had enough?" I ask, teasing.

Her eyes fly open. "No!"

I chuckle and bend down to kiss her. "Good." _I love how responsive she is._

I sit up on my knees to rid her of her sweet little thong and be sure to throw them on top of my shirt. "Those are mine now."

She cocks an eyebrow. "Make a habit of stealing all your girl's underwear?"

I grin. "No. Just yours."

Her look of annoyance turns into a relieved smile. "That's okay, then."

I spread her legs and settle myself down between her legs, taking in her core. "So wet, baby. You're incredible." I kiss her core and she gasps.

"Christian! I-Oohh." My tongue comes out to circle around her clit, effectively shutting my mouthy girl up.

"That feel good, baby?" I ask, looking up at her.

"Don't stop!" She yells, scowling down at me.

I laugh and bury my face back between her thighs. Her innocence tastes incredible. _So sweet...like milk and honey._ I work her up until she's about to explode, but stop. I want to feel her come around me.

She lets out a frustrated sigh, but I ignore it. _It'll be worth it, baby._ I climb out of bed and rid myself of my jeans and boxer-briefs, throwing a condom on the bed beside her. She watches with wide eyes and, as I climb back up the bed, she actually looks scared.

"What is it, Anastasia?"

"Um...is that going to...you know...fit?" She's truly terrified.

I smile. "You stretch." I grab the condom and tear it open, sliding it onto myself.

I drop back down on top of her, kissing her lips. "You are very beautiful, Anastasia Steele. I can't wait to be inside you. Are you ready?"

Her eyebrows knit together and she chews her lip. "Will it hurt?"

"Probably. Just for a bit. I'll go slow."

She nods. "Okay."

"Spread your legs, baby. Bend your knees and bring them up...good girl." I kiss her once more and reach down between us, grabbing my dick. I use my hand to guide me and press myself into her until my head is in. Her forehead wrinkles, but she keeps eye contact.

"I'm going to do it quickly."

She nods.

My hips go back a little and I thrust forward, and then thrust once more before I'm situated 3/4 of the way into her.

She whimpers and my chest clenches, seeing the look on her face. I kiss her nose, trying to ease it. "I won't move until you're ready."

"Just...just a minute." She's breathless. "It burns."

I kiss her mouth. "Take your time. We've got all night."

Soon, I feel her body relax under mine and her eyes find mine. "Okay."

"Ready for the rest?"

"There's more?!"

I bite back a laugh. "Just a little." I draw my hips back and thrust forward again, seating myself completely inside of her. _Fuck, she's tight._

She moans and grips my shoulders.

"That's what I like to hear." I press my lips to hers and pull back, thrusting again.

"More." She grips the back of my neck and her legs wrap around my waist, no longer shy.

It isn't long before I feel her heartbeat around my dick and I know she's close. "That's it, baby."

With one last thrust, she explodes and I'm right behind her.

After we both come down from our high and we're panting, I lean in and kiss her. "Mine."

I climb off of her and slide the condom off my dick, tying the end. I leave the bed to find the waste can and when I come back, I see that Anastasia has crawled under the covers, hugging her pillow. I have a seat on the edge of the bed and brush her cheekbone with the back of my finger.

"How do you feel?"

She smiles and stretches. "Incredible."

My smile matches hers. "Why did you wait so long?"

"I've never found that spark before."

"But you felt a spark with me?"

She gives me a shy smile. "Yes."

I know I've got a smug-ass grin on my face, but I don't try to hide it.

She pulls the blanket back to let me in and I catch a spot of blood before I hear her gasp and she covers it again.

I grin. "Maybe we should frame it..." _I'd love to have that as proof._

She reddens and decides to ignore me. "Aren't you going to lay down?"

My eyebrows knit together. "I don't sleep with anyone, Anastasia."

Her smile fades. "You aren't staying?"

"I can stay until you fall asleep if you'd like." I try to caress her cheek again, but she batts my hand away.

"So you've gotten what you want and now you're leaving." _She's hurt._

I shake my head. "It isn't like that, Anastasia...I've got...issues. I can't stay." _She just doesn't understand._

"Issues? What issues, Christian?" Her voice is soft and full of concern. The look of pity on her face pisses me off and I have to look away. I pull at my hair. _Fuck!_ I don't want her to look at me differently. _I don't need her pity._

"I don't want to talk about it." I snap at her, meeting her sapphire blues, and watch as her previous hurt returns. _Damn it!_ I didn't mean to be so harsh.

"Alright." She answers, calm and controlled. Emotionless. I watch her climb out of bed, and grab the pink robe on the back of the bathroom door. She slips it on and ties it tightly before turning back to me. She strolls past me and continues through the room and to the door. When her hand hits the doorknob, my eyes widen. The door opens and she stands behind it, looking at me expectantly. _She's kicking me out? What. The. Fuck._

Remembering that I am naked, I begin to pick up my clothes, throwing them on as I go. When I pick up my shirt, her white thong falls out and I almost leave it, but I pick it up and shove it in my pocket. _I don't ever want to forget it._

"Ana please." I hate to leave like this. She's just given me something so sacred of hers and I'm coming off like an asshole. I don't mean to be.

"What's wrong, Christian? You wanted to leave...so go ahead. Leave. " Her tone is cold and clipped. I search her eyes and there is no warmth left in them. All I want to do is pick her up and take her to bed, but I know I can't.

"I'm sorry, Ana. I'll call you in the morning." I lean in to kiss her and she lets me, but she doesn't reciprocate.

"Don't bother, Christian." She states, before slamming the door in my face.

For a second time, I am left standing, staring at her door. Last time it was all that Bieber fucker's fault, this time I can't blame anyone but myself and my fucked up issues.

My forehead hits the door and I close my eyes. _Please don't hate me, Anastasia._


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Pinterest is updated.**

 ***Ana's POV***

I feel so stupid. _What was I thinking?_ I just met this man a week ago and I throw myself at him, like a common whore. _No wonder he took it and ran._ I gave my virginity to the first man that caught my eye. I thought we had a spark...I thought he felt it to, but obviously it was just his good looks that got me. He's probably use to women throwing themselves at him. _'I keep a spare'._..of course he does. He's probably a regular at one night stands.

I wonder if he would have went home with Susannah if I wasn't there. She was so enamored with him even through the formalness. She was probably one of many he had and he just got sick of her. _A playboy._ I gave myself to someone who won't even remember my name in three months.

 _He acted like he cared._ I really thought he wanted _more. I want more._ I've never wanted that before. _Hell, I still want more_. I want to hate him...I really do, but just the thought of him makes me feel like a little schoolgirl. _Christian is my first real crush._ I'm a grown woman for goodness sake! Why can't I see past these stupid butterflies? _It can't just be his looks._ I've been around good looking men before. It's more than that.

 _Do I regret the sex?_ How can I regret sex like that? He was so attentive. I just don't understand what is going on. It was like a switch was flipped and he changed his tune. _Maybe I'm terrible in bed. Maybe he just got the goal and he didn't have to put on an act anymore._

He kept reminding me not to touch him below his shoulders...he obviously has intimacy issues. _If I wouldn't have kicked him out would he have told me?_

Now I'm even more angry with myself. I need to forget all about him and move on. It won't be easy with Kate dating Elliot, my meddling best friend will want details and answers, and I haven't decided if I'll tell her the truth. I won't have to worry about Christian, he'll probably go out of his way to ignore me now that he has what he wanted. I still don't understand why he was so jealous of Ethan. _Was it the thrill of the chase?_

 _Asshole._

I'm up most of the night, having my own pity party and end up sleeping late into the morning. I wake up with my phone vibrating, but I ignore it with a groan and hide my head under my pillow. I'm almost back to sleep, when I hear someone pounding on my door.

"Go away!" I yell, not caring who it is.

"Anastasia Rose Steele! You open this door right this minute or I'm going to think that Grey kidnapped and killed your ass!" Kate's voice comes through the door and I can't help, but crack a grin.

"If I'm yelling at you, I'm obviously not kidnapped or dead." I call back, climbing out of bed, pulling on my pink robe.

"Just open the damn door!"

I unlock my deadbolt and yank my door open to see Kate and Ethan standing here, looking startled.

"You look like hell." Ethan states, pushing the door open further and coming in. I move, allowing Kate to enter, too.

"What happened?" Kate asks, frowning.

I shake my head. "I was up late."

"We called you."

"Oh?" I ask, looking over at my phone on the bed. "You did?" I move towards the bed to retrieve it.

"Only like a hundred times!" Kate barks, frustrated. She drops down onto the end of the bed while I have a seat to look at my phone.

I've got 62 missed calls and 10 texts. I notice that I missed 21 calls from Christian and 6 texts from him. I quickly clear his missed calls and delete his texts. I don't even want to read what he has to say today. The rest are from Kate and Ethan, so I clear those, too.

"What is that?" Kate asks, causing me to look up at her. Her eyes are on my nightstand and she jumps up to grab whatever it is. I notice a dark gray wristwatch in her hand and I wince.

"Ethan? Did you leave this here?"

I can feel my cheeks heating up as he looks over the watch.

"No. Not mine."

Kate spins on her toe to look at me. "You didn't!"

I hide my face in my hands, praying that the bed will eat me alive.

"Well, well, well...it finally happened...and it only took a hot billionaire to get the job done."

"Shut up, Kate." I warn, refusing to uncover my face.

She laughs. "I'm just kidding. You have to tell me everything." I feel the bed dip beside me and she squeezes me to her. "We'll go to lunch and you can spill."

I finally look up at her and shake my head. "I don't want to." For some reason, the thought of reliving it pushes me over the edge and I begin to cry.

Suddenly, I'm being flanked and both Kavanagh's envelop me in a hug.

"What happened?" Kate asks.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Did he suck in bed?"

I laugh through my tears. "No, he definitely didn't."

"Come on. Let's go get some lunch. If you don't want to talk about it, then you don't have to, but we're your best friends. You can always talk to us." Kate stands, pulling me with her and pushes me towards the bathroom. "Go get a shower. I'll pick you out some clothes."

I jump in the shower quickly and Kate brings me a hot pink tank top and bootleg jeans. I am so relieved that it's something comfortable. After blow drying my hair down in waves, I slip into my beige and pink wedges and make my way out of the apartment with my two favorite blondes.

XxXxXx

We find a booth at the Fresh-Mex place and slide in with our food. Ethan slides in next to me and Kate sits across from us. Kate has been worrying her lip between her teeth and I know she has a lot of questions running through her mind, but I'm not sure if I want to answer them. It's complicated since she's dating Elliot and I don't know how close they are. What if she tells him and then he runs to Christian? I don't want Christian to think I'm obsessing over what happened. I decide to take the attention off of me and ask Ethan about Rosie.

"So, Ethan...heard from Rosie since Tuesday?" I ask, sipping my tea.

He grins. "You mean Medusa? I've been ignoring her phone calls and texts."

"What about Jose?"

He frowns. "He showed up at my apartment to talk."

Kate and I both gasp and I hear Kate coughing, probably from almost choking on her food. Seeing our shocked looks, he shakes his head.

"It didn't go well."

"What did he want to say? What did he expect to happen?" I'm extremely curious, now.

He shrugged. "He wanted to make amends...like fucking my girl behind my back wasn't a big deal. He apologized and expected us to be friends again."

"Well, you don't have to worry about me ever talking to that asshole again." Kate mentions and I nod.

"Me either."

"You have to admit...he has some balls. I didn't know he had it in him." Ethan states, winking at me. I know he's trying to shrug it off as not a big deal, but I'm sure he's hurting inside. I know he loved her and Jose was one of his closest guy friends. It was really a double betrayal for him. He lost two people so close to him.

"Stasia...what happened?" Ethan looks as worried as Kate and I know I can't put it off anymore.

I shrug. "We went out for dinner, he showed me his sailboat and we went back to my place and watched a movie..."

"And then?" Kate asks, almost looking cross with me.

"I think you can figure that out."

"What did he do?"

I shrug, playing it off. "He just left right after and I started having doubts."

Kate scowls at me. "He left? And he knew it was your first..."

"Yes, Kate! You don't need to broadcast it!" I hiss at her, looking around the restaurant. "It's nothing, really. When he said he couldn't stay, I kind of kicked him out."

Kate grins at me. "You kicked him out? That's awesome!"

I look down at my food and shake my head. I know I'm not really communicating just how devastated I am, but I don't want it to become an issue with Kate and Elliot.

Kate's phone goes off and she picks it up and shakes it at me. "It's Elliot. I'll be right back." We watch her as she slips out of the booth and I begin to tuck into my meal, but I can feel Ethan's gaze.

I look up at him and he's regarding me with his head cocked to the side.

"What?"

He searches my face. "Why are you playing this off?"

My eyebrows knit together. "I don't know what you mean."

"Don't play stupid with me, Stasia. Kate might trust what you say, but I don't."

I frown and look down at my plate. "Kate is with Elliot..."

"Ah..." He states, realization setting in. "Well, I'm not."

I look over at him and giggle. "Wouldn't that be a shock for Kate."

He gives me a playful look and pulls me to him. I willingly accept his comforting embrace and lay my head on his shoulder.

"You're my best friend, Stasia. I don't like that you're having such a hard time. If the asshole doesn't get his shit together, I might have to get it together for him."

I giggle and crane my head up to look at him. "Are you defending my honor, Mr. Kavanagh?"

He kisses my forehead. "Yep."

I see Kate making her way back across the restaurant and I sit up straight, picking up my burrito. Ethan squeezes my knee once before tucking into his own meal. I really am so blessed to have such great friends.

Kate is beaming as she sits down and is even a little breathless. I can't help my own smile as I look at her. "Have a nice chat?" I tease.

She giggles. "I did."

She tucks in to her taco salad, but I notice she keeps eyeing me and looks a bit guilty.

 _This cannot be good._ "What is it, Kate?" A part of me is worried that Elliot knows something and has told Kate.

"Elliot and I are going to Christian's tomorrow night for some pool...Elliot seems to think it'd be a good idea if you came."

I drop my food back on my plate and give her an incredulous look. "There is no way...!"

"Just hear me out! If you don't come, Christian is going to know it's because of him and it gives him the upper hand. If you come and show that what he did doesn't bother you, it'll crush him!"

I shake my head. "You are crazy!"

She reaches across and squeezes my hand. "Trust me, Steele! I know men."

"That isn't a joke..." Ethan says behind the rim of his soda before he takes a drink. She gives him a quick scowl before concentrating her attention back to me.

"He's obviously a playboy and gets off on this shit. Show him he doesn't affect you."

 _That's a little easier said than done._ The man makes me blush when he just looks at me. He knows I'm affected by him.

"If you don't come, you're just stroking his ego."

I sigh. "Fine, just shut up about it." I don't want to think about it. The thought of seeing him again makes my stomach churn and have butterflies all at the same time. I'm conflicted about this, but Kate is right. _She does seem to know a lot about men._

 ***Christian's POV***

Anastasia isn't answering my phone calls or my texts. I've been up all night, worried about her. A part of me wishes that I would have just stomped back into that apartment or refused to leave...the old me would have done just that...but I'm trying to change and I don't want to scare her. If she needs her space, then I'll try to give her that...at least for a little while. I spoke to Elliot about what happened this morning and he's agreed to help me get this shit together. He had a great idea about getting together tomorrow and having Kate bring Anastasia. I'm really hoping that Kate is convincing, because I can imagine Anastasia saying no. I hurt her and I don't deserve to see her again, but she haunts my thoughts every moment of the day.

 _She's mine._ I wish she understood that. She's given me her innocence and I'm not about to let another fucker take what's mine. I want to be the only one between her legs, the only one to bring her to orgasm, and the only name she screams when she does.

Since I couldn't sleep and Escala seems so large and empty, I ended up going to work before the sun was up and have been here all morning. It's the weekend, so there is barely anyone in the building and the silence is deafening. The quiet use to be a comfort, now it's anything, but. I'm sick of being lost in my head. I have no way to let out these negative emotions and my aggression now that I've stepped away from the lifestyle. I pull out my iPod and blast it in my large office, forcing away everything negative.

Around noon, my stomach growls and I realize just how hungry I am. _I hate being fucking hungry._ I silence my iPod and grab my shit, making my way down to my car before heading into the weekend traffic. Fresh-Mex sounds really good for some reason, so I head West, to the one closest to Escala.

While I am standing in line, a tall blonde catches my eye and I see her heading towards the patio with her phone. _Kate._ My eyes automatically wander around the restaurant, wondering if my brother is with her, but then my heart stops. Anastasia is sitting with the Beiber bastard in a booth all the way in the back. I watch her smile at him and then he pulls her to him and she looks more than willing to cozy up to the fucker. The way she looks at him...it makes me sick. She obviously cares about the asshole.

 _How the fuck can she fall into bed with me and then cozy up with this fucker barely twelve hours later?_

He kisses her and I see red. My chest is on fire and I suddenly feel like I can't catch my breath. I end up stepping out of line and heading straight for the door, not stopping until I'm in my car.

 _Why did I think I could do this?_ I can't do vanilla. I can't handle this emotional shit. _Did I run her straight into his arms?_ He's definitely soaking it up... _bastard._ I tried to be vulnerable last night, I thought she did the same. Last night meant more to me than the last twelve years of fucking did. _Once you've done it once, it's always easier to do it the second time...and then a third..._

The thought of her being with not just one more, but multiple men makes me sick and I'm suddenly no longer hungry. _Fuck this._ I can't do this shit. I'd rather my dick fall off from non-use than to get my ass in this situation again.

A ping pulls me out of my pitiful thoughts and I look at the screen in my car. It's a text from my brother.

 _*Tomorrow is a go.*_

 _Ah, so she's coming?_ I'm not about to let her see me sweat. If she can move on so quickly, so can I. _Game on, Miss Steele._

XxXxXx

It's ten minutes until my brother, Kate, and Anastasia are supposed to show and I find myself pacing in the kitchen. I am anxious and I don't know why. I shouldn't care. I already told myself I can't do this vanilla shit. I need to just let Anastasia go and either completely cut ties with her or try to be civil when Kate brings her around. Elliot has never kept a long term relationship, so I shouldn't have to worry about it much longer. Once Kate is out of the picture, so will Anastasia.

Taylor comes from somewhere in the apartment to notify me that they have entered the garage. I give him a nod and tell him to retire for the night.

I force myself to stay in the kitchen until I hear the bell on the elevator and the doors opening, before I make my way towards them.

"Christian?" Elliot calls into the great room.

"Yea." I answer, seeing them come into view. My eyes meet Anastasia's almost instantly and my breath leaves me. I'm affected more than I want to be. Her cheeks redden and she looks down at her heels, making me feel a little better. I obviously still affect her, too. I feel a pull towards her and I have to force myself to stop and keep my distance.

"Let me get your coats, ladies." My brother announces, a small grin on his face. I guess I've been gawking too long.

"I'll take them." I tell him, reaching out to grab Kate's first. I turn towards Anastasia and the smell of her knocks me in my face. My first thought is to throw her over my shoulder and give my brother and his girlfriend the one fingered salute on the way to my bedroom, but I can't. She slips off her white peacoat and what she has on underneath, I find sexy. A red tanktop with sequins, black jeans and fiery red heels to match. _I love red._ My eyes drift to the top of my stairs quickly before they return to Anastasia to take her jacket.

I go to the coat closet close to the kitchen and hang them on the hook and hear footsteps behind me.

"What do you want to drink girls?" Elliot calls out to them. I shut the door and make my way across the kitchen to help my brother.

"Whatever you're having." Kate answers, and I hear the tapping of footsteps before she appears.

Anastasia doesn't answer and against my better judgement, I go to ask her. I find her standing at one of the large glass windows, hugging herself. When I'm close, she turns.

"What would you like to drink, Anastasia?"

She shrugs. "Anything is fine, Christian. Thank you." She turns back to the window and I find myself standing next to her.

"It's beautiful at night."

I see a small smile form on her lips from her reflection in the glass. "It is. It's peaceful up here."

I shrug. "It's alright."

She lets out a giggle and shakes her head. "It's amazing, Christian. I'm sure you pay a bundle to stay here. You should appreciate how beautiful it is."

 _Maybe she's right._ The past has defiled the beauty of the place for me. "I get sick of these plain white walls."

She turns and looks over the apartment. "Then change it."

I find myself looking around the room with her. _Change it._ Seems simple enough. Maybe adding some color will liven up the place and help destroy all the memories of my past life.

"Ana!" Out of the corner of my eye I see her startle a bit and then start her way towards Kate. "What do you want to drink?"

I watch her from behind, her ass swaying as she walks, only making me want her more. _Stop it._

"Whatever is fine." She answers, taking a beer from Elliot. "This is great. Thank you, Elliot."

XxXxXx

Elliot and I decide to start, while the girls get comfortable on the couch against the wall, facing the pool table. He begins to rack them up and I busy myself with unbuttoning my sleeves, rolling them up my arms. I hear a sharp exhale of air from across the pool table and look up to see Anastasia staring at me. Her lip is between her teeth and she's watching my fingers as they work rolling up my sleeves. _That's right, baby. Drink it up._ I often think of my good looks as a curse, but I'm quite enjoying the affect I have on stubborn, sassy Miss Steele.

Her eyes raise to mine and I cock my eyebrow at her, signaling that I caught her, and she immediately looks away and takes a swig of her beer. She might try to act nonchalant, but that sweet pink tinging her cheeks tells a different story.

"Why don't we make this interesting..." Elliot states, grinning up at me as he finishes racking the balls.

I cock an eyebrow. "As in a bet?"

He gives me a nod. "Exactly."

I look at him, uncertain. I haven't played him in over a year and I don't know how much he's been practicing. "What are the stakes?"

Elliot rubs his hands together and then strokes his chin, pretending to ponder. "Hmm...if I win...you buy me a shiny new sports car."

I laugh. He's been trying to get me to buy him one for two years. He's a fucking lunatic on the roads with his damn truck, I'd hate to see him in something that really moves. "And if I win?"

He shrugs. "You pick."

I think about it for a minute. I know he can't afford something like that, but I do know something I need done and it would be nice to have Elliot deal with it for me. "If I win, you have every single car of mine detailed."

His eyebrows raise. "Interior and exterior?"

I roll my eyes. "Of course. What's the fucking point?"

He eyes me for a second, chewing his lip. I know he's doing the math on how much it might cost. Finally, he sighs and holds out his hand. "Deal."

"I play winner!" Kate states, bouncing in her seat. _Does Kate even know how to play?_

It's a fucking long game, both of us are on each others tails and on my last fucking shot, I scratch. Elliot shoots his balls with ease into the pockets and I'm officially out a hundred grand.

Elliot gives me a smug smile and holds his hand out to shake mine. I reluctantly shake his. "I'll take a Maserati... Granturismo. Red."

My eyes widen. "You've got to be fucking kidding me!" That's more expensive than my R8.

He shrugs. "You shook on it, bro."

I throw myself down on the couch, annoyed, while Kate jumps up to take my place. Anastasia looks up at me and then scoots over, putting a little more distance between us. I'm not sure if I should be offended or smug about this. She doesn't want to be close to me, but is it because I affect her so much?

"Alright, baby. What are we betting?"

 _Oh, fuck no._ I already know where this is leading.

When Kate says nothing, he continues. "If I win, you give me a blowjob."

She rolls her eyes. "And if I win, you will quit trying to convince me to do butt stuff."

I hear Anastasia start to giggle beside me. "You know that you're never going to win, right?"

Kate scowls at her. "Piss off, Steele! You can play Christian!" _Should I take offense to that?_ I can't help, but be amused by Anastasia's sudden pout and the folding of her arms.

 _What should I bet?_ I run my thumb back and forth across my lip while I brainstorm. _Can she play pool? Should I go easy on her?_ Looking over at her, I see that she's chewing that full bottom lip of hers and her eyes are downcast. _She's nervous._ I wonder what she'll wager. Suddenly, I can't wait for Kate and Elliot's game to be over.

Kate loses quickly, only managing to get two balls in the pockets the whole game. I'm hoping Anastasia plays like her best friend.

"Your turn." Kate looks glum as she hands Anastasia the pool stick.

She takes her place on the couch and I rise, as well, taking my brother's stick.

Anastasia begins to fetch the balls out of the pockets and I help her.

"I'll break." She tells me as I roll the balls towards her end. She racks them up and chalks the end of her stick and I realize quickly that she knows much more about pool than Kate does.

"Wait just a second, Anastasia. What are we betting?" _I'm not letting her out that easy._

She gives me a sweet smile. "You tell me."

I scratch my chin with my thumbnail. "If I win, you see me on Wednesday." _What the fuck am I thinking?_ Not two hours ago, I was telling myself I can't do this vanilla shit.

She cocks her eyebrow, her smile falling and her eyes darken...but it isn't from arousal. She looks pissed.

"And if I win, we remain friends."

"Friends?" _What the hell does that mean?_

"JUST friends." She's giving me a look so cold, I swear it changes the air in the room. I hear Kate snicker behind me and I return Anastasia's cold look.

"Fine."

"You've got this, Ana. I'd hate for you to have to cancel your date that night because this asswipe wins."

I almost drop my pool stick.

" _Date?"_ I hiss, looking at Anastasia. She looks at me and then at Kate, looking startled and uncomfortable.

"Yes, _date._ " Kate speaks for Anastasia and I spin myself around to look at her. "You can't expect her to sit around all day waiting for you, can you?"

I feel like I've been hit in the gut.

"Kate, stop." Anastasia warns.

"Yea, take it easy." Elliot chimes in, but the damage is already done. _Anastasia has a date._

She has a date and she wasn't going to tell me?

 _Fuck this. She. Is. Mine._

I turn back towards Anastasia and plaster a grin on my face. "Ready to play?"

She almost looks confused for a second, but nods. "Yes, I'm ready."

She bends over the table, her sweet little ass up in the air and I can't help, but enjoy the show.

"Sure you can play in those heels, Miss Steele?"

She turns her head towards me and cocks an eyebrow. "I can do many things in heels, Mr. Grey." Her head turns back to the table and she breaks, hitting both a solid and a stripe into the opposite corner pockets. I watch a smug grin form on her face as she stands and walks around the table with her head cocked to the side, taking in the placement. "I choose...stripes." She bends over and tries again, the ball missing the pocket just barely.

" _Damn it_." She hisses and straightens back up.

"Pity, Miss Steele."

She scowls at me and I give her a smirk back. _I've got this._

I take my time, looking at my options, before making my way to her side of the table. She's looking down at the table and she's in my way. _I can definitely use this to my advantage._

I step up as close behind her as I can without touching her and my nose ghosts over the shell of her ear. "Excuse me, Miss Steele."

She intakes sharply through her mouth and takes a couple steps to the side to allow me access to the table. I smile at her as she flushes. "Thank you."

I get two balls in before it's her turn again. I take a step back, letting her look over the table. She makes her way over to me and starts to bend right in front of me...and god-damn it if she doesn't scoot that hot ass back and right into me.

"You're in my way, Mr. Grey." She states, looking back at me. My palm is twitching and all I want to do it spank that ass she's shaking at me.

"My apologies, Miss Steele." I take a few steps back and lean against the wall, trying to look unfazed. Poseidon is trying to make himself known, but I quickly think of Elena and he retreats.

We spend the remainder of the game brushing up against each other and making snide comments. I'm down to two balls and she's down to four and she's up. I'm going to win and she's going to have to break that date with whatever fucker is trying to get his hands on her. _It better not be the Bieber bastard._

I watch her as she pockets two, then the third, and then the last. _What. The. Fuck._ All she has left is the 8-ball and I'm finding myself tensing up. Before I realize what I'm doing, my hand flies out to grab the 8-ball that's on its way to the center pocket.

"Christian!" Anastasia barks at me.

"Go out with me on Wednesday." I urge. I'm panicking and I don't like it.

"No."

"Anastasia..." I'm warning her. _She can't see any other fucker._

"I said no." She strides over to me, yanking the 8-ball out of my hand and drops it into the corner pocket. "I win."

I grit my teeth. "As you wish, Anastasia." We are staring each other down and my hands are squeezed into fists at my sides, trying to remain in control.

"Um...it's been fun, bro...but I think Kate and I are gonna' get going."

My gaze leaves Anastasia just in time to see them making their exit. When I look back at her, her face has softened and she's still looking at me.

 _Didn't they come together?_ "Are you leaving?" It comes out harsher than I mean it.

Her eyes drift to the door and she comes out of her stupor. "Oh, yes. Yes, I'm sorry." She places her pool stick on the table and hurries out of the room.

 _Why is everything so fucked up?_

I stand there for a few seconds, breathing in deep through my nose and out through my mouth like Flynn has taught me. It only takes a few breaths before I feel in control enough to leave. _Hopefully, I've given Anastasia enough time to leave._

The lights are off in the great room and I wonder if Gail turned them off for me. I do have a nasty habit of leaving things on. I decide to head to the kitchen for a bottle of water before trying to lie down when movement by the foyer catches my eye. Adrenalin surges through me and I turn my head quickly, finding a petite brunette in her red sequin shirt.

I stand, rooted to my spot, while I listen to the click of her heels as she makes her way over to me. She stops right in front of me and I look down at her. Her blue eyes are clear and sparkling with unshed tears and for some reason I find myself wanting to do the same. Her small, soft hands reach up to rest against the stubble on my cheeks and she pulls my face down to meet hers. Her lips meet mine and I immediately react, pulling her against me and holding the back of her head, taking the lead. We don't pull apart until we're oxygen starved and panting.

"Why?" I can't even form coherent sentences right now.

"I forgot my coat." She pants, gazing at my lips.

I smirk forms on my face. _I've never loved a piece of clothing so much in my life._ I lean back in and find her lips, picking her up by her ass. Her legs immediately wrap around my waist and her hands find my hair.

"Bed." She states mid-kiss.

I pull away from the kiss, but start towards the bedroom. "I thought we were friends."

She shrugs. "Maybe with a few benefits."

I chuckle and pull her face back to mine.

I kick the door to the bedroom closed and place her on her feet on the side of the bed. She steps out of her heels and begins to pull her shirt off her head, but I grab her hands.

"That is my job." _Half of the fun is unwrapping her._

Her hands relax at her sides and I begin on ridding her of her black jeans, finding white cotton panties underneath. I look up at her and she smirks. "I didn't plan anyone seeing me."

I smile. "I like them."

Her tank top is next to go, revealing a plain, white strapless bra. Her underwear is simple, but she'd look beautiful in anything...and looks even better in nothing.

I reach behind her, unclasping her bra and let it fall to the floor as I back her up to the bed. She scoots herself over to the middle, laying her head on the pillows. I can't help, but stare at her while I rid myself of my clothes.

 _How should I take her tonight?_ _I'd love to grip her ass while I plow into her..._ I grin at the thought and kick off my bottoms. Her eyes rake over my body, to my dick, and she licks her lips. I can only imagine what they'd feel like wrapped around me. _I wonder if she'd ever be willing?_

Not tonight, though. I want to bury myself in her.

"You look edible, Miss Steele." I tell her, crawling up the bed. "Let's have a taste." I pull her panties down her legs and throw them over my shoulder before parting her legs and dipping tongue into her slit. _So wet, already._ I hum in appreciation and continue on with my mission. Her legs spread even more and she bends them, putting her feet flat on the bed. I settle my body between her legs and take my time, working her up and then slowing, letting her build-up fade.

 ***Ana's POV***

 _How is he so good at this?_ I'm wound up so tight, my body is begging for release, but he keeps denying me.

I reach down and tug on his hair. "Oh, Christian...please." I know I'm begging, but I don't care. I'm ready to explode.

His tongue stops and he pulls his face away from me."What do you want, Anastasia? Tell me."

I whimper. _Do I really have to say it?_ The cocky ass is definitely enjoying this. If I don't answer, I'll never get a release.

"I want to come."

His lips are on me again and he starts sucking on my clit, making my body convulse and I cry out.

 _So good._ "Please, don't stop!" My grip tightens in his hair, keeping him in place and I feel the tip of his tongue flick against me and I'm a goner.

"Mmm, Christian!" _Oh, thank god._

He kisses his way up my body, but I'm shattered. _How did I not know it could feel this good?_ His teeth find my neck and he nips and sucks hard, marking me. I want to contest, but I'm still recuperating from my orgasm.

He reaches into his nightstand drawer and produces a condom. "I'm going to fuck you now. Roll over."

 _Huh?_ "What?"

His hands are on my hips and suddenly, I'm being flipped over. "Oh, god...you aren't going to do butt stuff, are you?"

I hear him laugh behind me and I can't help, but grin. _I love his laugh._

"No, Miss Steele." He yanks back on my hips. "On your knees. Head down." I feel his palm pressing against my shoulder blades and for some strange reason, it turns me on even more.

I feel him push himself into me, a little at a time and my eyes roll back into my head as pleasure shoots from my core to my limbs.

"Incredible." I hear him murmur. He grips my bum with both hands and starts to pick up speed.

"Oh, wow." It's faster than last time, but it's freaking phenomenal.

"You won't go on that date." I states, slamming into me and making me cry out.

"What?" _What the hell is he talking about?_ I try to look back at him, but he presses his palm into my back again.

"Stay." His thrusts slow and I almost whine.

I relax back against the pillow and try to focus on my words. "What are you talking about?"

He thrusts hard and I moan in delight. _Keep going._

"The date...Wednesday. You aren't going." His thrusts become harsher and faster.

"I..." I'm panting. He feels too good. _What was I trying to say?_ "I don't have a date."

"What?" He stops.

"No! Don't stop!" I want to cry. His hips start moving again and I let out a long moan. "Kate lied. I didn't know she was going to say it."

"Why?" _He's pissed._

"Maybe to get a rise? I don't know. Harder, Christian." I know I sound demanding, but I'm still hoping he listens.

He picks up speed and pistons into me and I'm a goner. He holds me up by wrapping an arm around my waist while I come and I feel him lengthen and contract before he comes himself.

I feel so relaxed and sated, I know I could fall asleep right here. My eyes start to close, but I force them open and sit up. _I can't stay._

While he disposes of the condom I begin to get dressed. He slides into bed and watches me.

"You're leaving?" He asks.

I pick up my shirt and look at him. "Yes, I can't stay."

He shakes his head and pulls the duvet down. "Stay."

 _He wants me to stay._ My first thought is to throw my clothes back onto the floor and jump in, but on second thought, I decide to give him a taste of his own medicine.

"I can't."

His eyebrows knit together. "Why? We can talk."

I snort. _Now he wants to talk?_ "We're friends, remember?"

He rolls his eyes. "So, you won't stay with me after we fuck, but you'll cozy up to the blond fucker in public?"

 _What. The. Hell._ "You followed me?"

He rolls his eyes. "I didn't follow you. I went to get some lunch and saw you curled up together."

It's my turn to roll my eyes. "Oh, please. We've been over this. He's just a friend."

"You're like that with all your male friends?"

 _Crap._ "Well...no."

"We can't keep doing this if you are going to fuck other men. I do not share, Anastasia."

"I am not _fucking_ any other men, Christian! I've barely fucked you!"

"Barely?" He questions. "I thought I was pretty thorough. Do I need to try again?"

I take a step back. "No, Christian. I need to go."

He pulls at his hair. "Are you finding a pattern, Anastasia?"

My eyebrows knit together.

"Every time we see each other, you're so quick to get rid of me. Why?"

I sigh. We can keep this up all night, but then he'd win with keeping me here. _I need to leave._ I need to keep...or try to keep anyway...my feelings out of this. I know I can't deny him physically, not that I want to, but he has intimacy issues and I don't trust him. _I can't be left broken._ I've seen my mother broken too many times to want to go through it myself.

"I'm leaving, Christian."

Seeing the look on his face makes my heart hurt. I have to look away. I busy myself with slipping on my shoes and turn around before I change my mind.

"Enjoy your night, Christian."

"Let me walk you out." I hear movement on the bed and I stop at the door.

"Fine."

I hear drawers being opened and look over my shoulder to see him pulling on some pajama bottoms. He escorts me to the kitchen to get my coat and helps slip it on before we continue to the elevator.

He hits the button and turns to me, pulling me to him. I can't help myself; I relax into his embrace.

"Have a good night, Anastasia. Text me when you get home?"

Unable to deny him that much, I nod.

He gives me a sweet kiss as the elevator doors open and I step inside. They begin to close and I can see him start to panic.

"Wednesday...please." He's pleading with me.

I nod. "Okay." I answer, and manage to catch the small smile that forms on his face before the doors close.


	5. Chapter 5

**Just breathe and remember that this us HEA. We promise to have the next chapter up soon!**

 ***Kate's POV***

It's been three weeks since Ana and Christian had their stand-off during the game of pool and she's been acting funny ever since. She hasn't mentioned Christian and she's keeping tight lipped about anything that isn't work related. I don't know what's going on and it's pissing me off. I've tried to leave it alone and not mention it to Elliot, but I need to get to the bottom of this. Something is off.

I hear Elliot coming in the door and look up from my phone. _Perfect timing._ He slips his shoes off at the door and makes his way towards me, sitting next to me on the couch.

"You're the only chick I know that can make this lace and glitter shit look good."

I give him an amused grin while he snarls at my lace and glitter pillows, grabbing them and throwing them over on the opposite couch. _It never fails._ He always has to comment about how feminine my apartment is. Little does he know, I move the pillows so that they're in his way every time.

I smile sweetly up at him once he gets settled. "You love it."

He rolls his eyes and snorts.

"So, have you spoken to Christian lately?" I might as well just get straight to it.

His eyebrow raises and I know he's suspicious. We never talk about his brother. "Of course, I have. He's been really busy, though. I haven't seen him much. Why?"

I shrug. "I was just wondering if he's been acting strange? Ana has been since that night we played pool. I haven't seen much of her, either."

He chews his lip and I can just see the cogs in his brain working. "Christian said he's been working late."

I nod. "Ana's said the same."

"But she just started."

"I know." I give him a knowing look.

He cocks his eyebrow at me. "Shall we call them?"

A giant grin forms on my face. "I think we shall!" I pull Ana's phone number up on my cell and he does the same with Christian's.

I listen to it ring a few times, before Ana answers.

"Hello?" She sounds breathless.

"Hey, girl. What you doing?" I hear Elliot's voice speaking to Christian and I make my way to the other end of the room and sit on the chaise lounge so that Elliot's voice won't interfere.

"Just working late."

I hear faint classical music and something that sounds like water...maybe? "You are, are you?"

"Yes?" She sounds uncertain. _This girl is most definitely lying._

"They certainly have you working a lot."

"Money is money, Kate. Do you have a reason for calling other than to give me the third degree?"

There's a loud noise, forcing me to yank my phone away from my ear.

"Holy shit." Elliot growls and I see him holding his phone away from his ear, too.

 _Jackpot. These two are so busted._

I snap my fingers at Elliot and then point to my phone, indicating I heard the same thing.

"Was that a boat horn I heard, Ana?" I ask, amused.

"Um...that was just my coworker's ringtone."

"You know you're a shit liar, Ana. Be sure to tell your boyfriend hi for me."

"I don't have a boyfriend. You've gone off the deep end, Kate."

"Fuck buddy, then? I thought that ended, by the way."

I hear a frustrated sigh. "Look, Kate. I've got a lot of work to do and I really need to get off-"

"I'm sure you do." I grin. _I'm sure she can't wait to get off..._ I have to bite my lip to keep from laughing.

"Goodbye, Kate!"

The line goes dead and I settle back on the couch next to Elliot, who is still on the phone.

"What do you mean?" Elliot asks into the phone. His eyebrows are furrowed and he looks disappointed. "Well, have you told her?" I watch his face as he listens to Christian. "Why don't you get some balls and stop this shit? This isn't good for either one of you." He runs a hand through his hair and yanks at it. "Just physical, huh?" He shakes his head and pulls his phone off his ear, looking at it.

"He hung up on me."

"Ana did the same."

Elliot sighs and throws his phone down on the coffee table and I curl up to his side. "So, what did he say?"

"I told him that I knew Ana was with him and he said that it's just physical."

I frown. "Fuck buddies." I shake my head. "This has to be killing Ana. She gives him her virginity and-"

"WOAH! Wait. She was a virgin?"

I wince. "Yes, but please don't tell anyone. I know she's playing this off like it's no big deal, but she has feelings for him. I know she does."

He exhales slowly. "Christian does, too. They're going to fuck this up."

"We need to fix this, Elliot." _Ana deserves more than this._

"Kate...I don't think sticking our noses in their business is going to help."

"Well, they're certainly not going to do it. They need us, Elliot." He shakes his head, uncertain. "Come on, babe. You're his big brother. Don't you love him?"

"Of course, I do."

"And don't you want to help him?"

He sighs. "Yes."

"Doesn't he deserve to be happy?"

Suddenly, Elliot looks sad and it breaks my heart a little. "You have no idea how much he deserves this."

I squeeze his arm. "Then let's help them."

"There is no way Christian is going to admit his feelings to Ana if he has any doubt that she might reject him."

I chew my lip, thinking. "Then, we'll just have to force it out of him."

He cocks an eyebrow at me. "How?"

A grin forms on my face. "Jealousy."

Elliot shakes his head. "Woah, no. That isn't a good idea. Didn't you see how angry he got when you mentioned that Ana had a date?"

I giggle. "Exactly. He needs to get angry enough to finally make a move."

"What are you thinking my little mastermind?"

 ***Christian's POV***

I really don't know what to make of Anastasia and my relationship... _if you could even call it that._ She's a great girl and we have so much fun together, but the only affection we seem to know how to show is in the bedroom. She still blushes even if I try to hold her hand when we aren't in the bedroom. I don't really know how to make the jump from fuck buddies to a real relationship and I honestly don't even know if she even wants that. I've fucked up my first try at having a vanilla relationship; the vanilla sex I seem to have down pat now. I'm finding myself wanting to be with her every night, even without the sex, but she seems to only want to get together every few days to let off some steam. Neither one of us stays over with the exception of our last time together, which was on The Grace. We were out in the middle of Puget Sound, so there really wasn't anywhere either one of us could go. I enjoyed waking up to Anastasia...probably a lot more than I should. When I'm not with her, she's all I think about and it's frustrating as hell. _I probably don't even come to her mind until she wants a lay._

It's Sunday night and I'm at my parents house for Sunday dinner. I'm here before Elliot, which is odd. Usually, I'm the last one to traipse in. I find my parents and Mia already in the dining room with their wine and I notice that the table is fuller than normal. Counting the place settings, I count three extra.

"Are we having company?" I ask, confused.

"Oh, yes. Didn't Elliot tell you? He's bringing his new girlfriend and her brother, who is also bringing a date."

 _Well, isn't this fucking cozy._ Anastasia hadn't mentioned that the Bieber fucker found a new girlfriend...although he rarely comes up. He's still a sour spot for me. I don't like how comfortable they are together. I don't care how many times she states they're 'just friends'.

The door alarm beeps, signalling the arrival of the others and my mother hops off her chair to greet them. My sister does the same, excited to see Kate. I sip my wine, uninterested. I'll wait until they come to me. My father stays in his seat, as well, sipping his brandy.

After a minute or so, we hear women's voices coming nearer and we both look at the entryway, waiting for them to appear. My mother and Mia come in first, followed by Elliot and Kate. I see Kate's brother behind her, looking down at his side while he speaks to whoever the fuck his date it. Elliot moves and I get a glimpse of long dark hair and alabaster skin. My body tenses as blue eyes meet mine.

 _Anastasia._

 _I see red._

Her eyes widen when she sees me and she grabs Kate's elbow.

"You said he wasn't going to be here!" She whispers harshly and my blood boils. _She was going to do this behind my back._ She is seeing that Bieber fucker behind my back. I fucking knew it.

"Carrick, this is Elliot's girlfriend Kate, her brother Ethan, and his date, Anastasia." My mother announces to my father.

He shakes their hands.

"Pleasure to meet you, Anastasia."

"Please, call me Ana."

"Christian, this is-"

"Anastasia." I stand, offering my hand, but leaving my gaze cold. "We've met."

"Oh." My mother's confused.

"Christian." Anastasia answers, giving me a curt nod. "You remember Ethan."

I grit my teeth and force myself to shake his hand, but only because my mother is watching. I want to reach down his throat and tear his heart out of his fucking chest.

They have a seat and Anastasia keeps her head down, concentrating on her empty plate. I watch the blonde fucker reach over and squeeze her hand and she looks up from her plate to smile at him. I notice his hand doesn't leave her lap and my fingers begin to flex and ball into fists in my lap. _Control. Stay in control, Grey._

I've never felt so betrayed in my life. Gretchen brings out the food and I honestly don't feel like eating. For a second time, this girl has forced away my appetite; this has never happened in whole time I've been a Grey.

I find myself scowling at Kavanagh, and he gives me a scowl right back. _Obviously the feeling is mutual._ We're both fighting for the same girl, but should I fight for her? _Is it worth it?_ She obviously has no problem parading around on Bieber wannabe's arm when I'm not looking.

He looks away from me and down to her, seeing that she's just picking at her food. He leans into her ear to say something and she turns her head and gives him a small smile, nodding. He lifts his hand from her lap and rubs her back a few times with his palm before letting it settle back in her lap. _Fucker._

"Aren't you two just the cutest?" Mia states, beaming at the two across from us.

The blonde fucker chuckles and Anastasia blushes, making me grind my teeth. _I should be the only one making her do that._

"How long have you two been dating?"

Anastasia wipes her mouth and shakes her head. "Oh, we're not dating. Ethan is my best friend."

 _Liar. Friends my ass._

"Well, you could've fooled me, Ana." Mia giggles and I find myself wanting to shove her adorable little face into her plate.

The whole dinner is a fucking disaster. Bieber wannabe and I keep throwing scowls at one another and I somehow keep finding Anastasia's eyes before she blushes and looks down at her plate. Our half of the room is so cold, I should be able to see our breaths. When dessert is brought out, Anastasia excuses herself to use the restroom and I sit for about ten whole seconds longer, before I get up, making the excuse that Ros is calling.

 ***Ana's POV***

 _Just relax, Ana. He doesn't own you. If he wanted a relationship with you, he would have already said so. Put on your big girl panties and get this night over with._

I look into the bathroom mirror while I wash my hands and give myself a pep talk. Kate promised he wouldn't be here tonight. The only reason why I came was so that Ethan wouldn't be the third wheel. It is so incredibly uncomfortable. Christian looks murderous and it might mean the end of seeing him all together. The thought of that makes my heart ache. As much as I've tried not to have feelings for him, I just can't help it. I try to stay away with him, but every time I try, I just end up back underneath him a couple days later. _Why does everything have to be so fucked up? Why does he have to have intimacy issues? Why does his intimacy issues cause me to have the same?_ The last night we spent together was incredible. Waking up to his smiling face and tossled hair...God. I could do it every day of my life. _Why can't it be that easy?_

I dry my hands, unlock the door, and turn off the light before heading out. Suddenly, a hand covers my mouth and I'm picked up and pulled into a room, the door clicking shut behind me. I try to scream, but it's ineffective.

"Shh! It's me." Christian's voice is in my ear and I feel my body relax, knowing I'm not going to be kidnapped or raped. "I'm going to uncover your mouth." He warns and I nod. _What does he think I'm going to do? Cry wolf?_

He releases me and I spin around to give him a piece of my mind. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

"Mouth! And be quiet!" He whispers loudly.

"Don't admonish me for-" His lips are on mine and I'm pushed against one of the built-in bookshelves lined with books. I pull my mouth away from his and now I'm steaming. "What the-" He cuts me off again, his thumb and fingers holding my chin in place and I try to fight, but when I feel his tongue against my lips I know I'm a goner. I relax into the kiss and allow him to deepen it.

Suddenly, he pulls away panting, and leaves another bruising kiss to my lips. "You. Are. Mine."

I just look up at him, speechless. _What is happening?_

"Have you slept with that blonde fucker?"

"What?" _How many times can I say it? We're just friends!_

"Answer me, Anastasia!" He uses his body to keep me pinned and I find myself shaking my head. "Good." I feel his body weight shift off of me and he looks down, working on his belt. "I am the only one that fucks you. You are mine and mine only."

I'm watching him undo his pants, and my brain is telling me to push him off and make a run for it, but my body is too aroused. _What is happening to me?_ Why am I finding this so sexy?

I watch him pull himself out of his pants and he's hard. _Oh, hell._ He reaches for my dress and pulls it up my thighs and for some strange reason, I can't find it in me to stop him. We're in his parents house...I came with Ethan...anyone could walk in on us at any moment and _still,_ I'm letting him do this... _and I like it!_

"I like this dress." He growls, watching it slide past my thighs. He puts a knee between mine and forces my legs apart and I feel a finger slip into me.

A moan escapes my mouth and my eyesight blurs, but I can't look away from him. I see him grin as he thrusts his finger.

"So wet, Anastasia." He twirls his finger, massaging my walls and my eyes flutter closed and my head hits the back of the bookshelf. "See what I do to you, baby? Only I can make you feel this way. You are mine. Do I need to remind you?"

I whimper, knowing what's coming.

"Not going to answer, Miss Steele? My, my. It does sound as if someone needs a reminder fuck." His hands cup my bum and before I can open my eyes I'm lifted and impaled onto him, his hand covering my mouth just in time to silence my cry out. _Why does he have to feel so good?_

He stills, inside of me. "Shh, baby. We wouldn't want anyone to hear you, would we?"

I shake my head. _That would be mortifying._

"That's right." He places his forehead against mine and I see that his iron gray eyes are dark and stormy. "Only I get that pleasure. My ears only, do you understand?" He thrusts hard into me, making his point and I whimper against his hand. "I asked you a question, Miss Steele!" He slides back out. "Do. You. Understand?" He thrusts into me with every word and I've got to close my eyes to concentrate on staying nonverbal. I nod against his forehead, unable to answer since his hand is still clamped over my mouth.

"If I uncover your mouth, will you be a good girl and be quiet?"

I nod, although I'm not sure how quiet I can be.

He grips my backside with the other hand and he slowly slides himself into the hilt; I can feel every inch in and every inch out as he moves and I feel my orgasm building quickly.

"Christian..." It's a breathless whisper, but I can barely form words right now.

"That feel good, baby?"

I nod and let out a soft moan as he pushes himself into me again.

"Harder?" He asks and I nod eagerly, tightening my arms around his neck. He smiles and presses his lips to mine before he starts to piston himself into me. The intensity forces me to hide into his neck in an effort to stifle myself from becoming loud.

"Don't stop, Christian. Please, don't stop." I chant against his neck. I am so close, I can feel it rushing to my core.

His thrusts slow and I want to cry. "You are mine, Anastasia. This body is mine. Say it."

"It's yours...please..." _Let me come!_

"Come." He demands, setting a punishing pace suddenly. My body obeys and I bite down on the base of his neck to keep quiet. I hear him grunt into my ear and he holds me against the bookcase as his body begins to shudder.

"Mine." He growls through his teeth, convulsing one last time.

Finally, when we've both relaxed, he places me back on my feet. We each take a moment to fix ourselves and as I stand there, instead of a post-orgasm high like usual, I find myself wanting to cry.

I'm so conflicted. _Why the hell was that so hot?_ Why didn't I run away from the very beginning? Why did I let him have me? _Way to stand your ground, Steele._

Before I can stop myself, tears start rolling down my cheeks. I hate myself for crying in front of him. It's the worst thing I can do. I don't want him to see how emotionally raw he makes me.

 _I'm angry._ I'm angry at him, I'm angry and disappointed at myself, and I'm angry at the situation I put myself in. I try to take a deep cleansing breath to calm myself, but it comes out more as a shudder, getting Christian's attention. I try to turn away from him, but he spins me around.

"No, baby. No. Please don't cry." He reaches up to wipe my tears, but I batt him away.

"Get away from me!" _He wants to try and be loving now?_

"Why can that blonde fucker take care of you, but I can't?"

I snort and wipe away my tears. "Take care of me? You had no problem leaving me be every other time! _Now_ you want to pretend to care?"

"YOU left, Anastasia! I asked you to stay!"

 _Asshole._ "No! YOU LEFT! You took the most sacred thing I had and ran off!"

"You slammed the door in my face! Just like you did the night that fucker showed up at your doorstep! Stop lying to me about him and just tell the god-damned truth!"

"I'm not lying to you! He's just a friend, Christian!"

"You're cheating with him!"

"I am not!"

"You show him more love and compassion in ten minutes than you've shown me in the past month. You're emotionally cheating on me with him! Cheating is cheating, Anastasia!"

I can't help, but laugh as I let the tears flow down my face. "How can I cheat on someone I'm not with! All we do is fuck, Christian!"

"It was your choice, Anastasia!"

"My-my choice? You certainly didn't put up a fight about it! You enjoy that I'm just a fuck!"

He's pacing and pulling at his hair and I wish I was stronger because I want to punch him.

He exhales deeply and stops, looking at me. "If it was just a fuck, then why would you give up something so sacred?"

 _I don't have an answer to that._

"Exactly. It's not. It can't be. What you and I have...it's different." He comes towards me and I try to take a step back, but the shelf stops me.

"Please, don't." I just want to curl up in my bed and sob my eyes out. _He doesn't mean it. He can't mean it._ He showed his true colors our first night together and I don't want to end up like my mother. I can't.

He's a foot from me and I turn my head, refusing to look at him. His hands find my upper arms and he grips them.

"Anastasia, look at me."

I squeeze my eyes shut and shake my head.

He shakes me a little. "God damn it, Ana! Will you just look at me?"

"I can't do this anymore, Christian." I refuse to turn my head.

"What?" He actually sounds choked up and I have to force myself to deny him eye contact. I'm scared I'll crumble.

"You're leaving me?"

I shake my head. "I never had you."

The door creaks and my eyes fly up from the floor to see Elliot standing there, wide-eyed and mouth agape. Christian's hands drop and I take the advantage and make a run for it.

I hurry down the hall and don't stop until I get to the front door, yanking it open, and continue towards the cars. I see Ethan standing by his BMW, talking on his phone and I run as fast as I can in heels to him. I'm ten feet from him when he sees me coming and his face falls before he opens an arm to me. I collide into his chest and begin to sob...rather unlady like at that. Heavy sobs resonate through my body and he holds me to him.

"Let me call you back." I hear him say before he throws his phone on the hood of his car and holds me to him.

"What is going on, Stasia? What happened?"

I shake my head against his chest. _I can't_ _speak, I can't think, I can't function right now._

"Ana? Are you okay?" I hear Kate and turn, seeing Elliot, Kate, and Christian standing there. _Oh god._

"Take me home, Ethan. Please. Take me home." I grip the front of his button down, worried I'm going to fall apart right there.

"Okay. Okay, we'll go." He walks me to the passenger's side of the car, keeping me close and opens my door. "Kate! Get her stuff!" I hear him yell before closing my door. I see Kate head back into the house and I buckle myself in.

He slides into the driver's side and turns the car on, before looking at me. "Stasia...you're scaring me."

I see movement out of the corner of my eye and I see Christian coming to my side of the door. I lock it quickly.

"Just go."

He puts it into reverse and we fly backwards down the driveway while I watch Christian pacing, with his hands pulling at his hair. Right before he's out of view, I see Elliot flailing his hands around at Christian. _He's mad at him._

 _Good._


	6. Chapter 6

***Ana's POV***

This week has been the most miserable week of my adult life. It's Friday. I haven't spoken to Christian in five whole days and I miss him. Guilt has been eating at my stomach the whole week and I'm confused.

 _'You've show him more love and compassion in ten minutes than you've shown me in the past month. You're emotionally cheating on me with him! Cheating is cheating, Anastasia.'_

His words keep tumbling around in my brain and I can't shake them. I'm confused by the whole situation. I had originally thought that Christian had intimacy issues...that there was no way that he and I could ever have 'more'...but everything he's done since that first night shows that maybe it isn't the case. Even if he _was_ open to a serious relationship, he probably isn't now. The only relationship we had was a physical one. I can't cheat on someone that isn't mine. Besides, Ethan is Ethan. We're best friends...we love each other. It's not the same. If I wanted to be with Ethan, then I would have already done it. We've always been affectionate and I really never thought twice about it. I've never had a serious relationship, so our friendship has never been a problem. Can I call Christian and my relationship 'serious'? _Seriously fucked up, maybe._

I want to believe that Christian really does want me for something more...but there is still a small part of me that wonders if he just likes the cat and mouse game. Ethan is a threat to him and he wants to obliterate him. He might just be selfish. He doesn't want anyone else fucking what he's fucking.

 _Ugh! I don't know what the hell to think!_

I let out a frustrated growl and fall over in bed, burying my face in the pillow.

Everything was so simple before... _I was simple._ Now, I'm just simply fucked up.

My phone pings and I peek out from my pillow to look at my phone, secretly hoping it's Christian. Unfortunately, it's Kate. I decide to ignore it.

Kate keeps calling me, but I haven't responded to her phone calls or texts. _Why would she purposely put me in such a terrible situation?_ I only went because she said that Ethan wanted to have another person there that he knew. She promised me that Christian wouldn't be there. She lied right to my face and I'm not sure why. _Why would she purposely cause me so much grief?_

There's a knock. I already know who it is.

"Go away, Kate."

"Ana...please, just open the door. I'm sorry."

"No."

"Please!"

"No."

"Please! There's a scary set of twins staring at me through the crack in their door! It's like the Shining out here!"

I can't help the laugh that comes out of my mouth. _She's ridiculous._

When I don't answer, she knocks again.

"No."

"Please?"

"No, Kate."

There is silence for a minute and I relax back in my bed. _She's gone._

"But I have wine..."

I sit up, my ears perking at the word. _She always has the good wine._

I sigh and crawl out of bed. "Fine."

XxXxXx

Kate and I are on our second bottle of wine and I have just spilled the beans about everything that has happened over the last month.

"So, if you're miserable...and Christian's miserable..." She scratches her head. "Why not just be together? Even if you're miserable...you can be miserable together!"

My eyebrows knit together, trying to comprehend what she just said. The wine is starting to affect both of us. "Who says Christian's miserable?"

"Lelliot." She giggles. "Le-Le-Oh, forget it! You know who I mean. Christian didn't go to work this week. He said that he saw Christian on Wednesday and found him in bed, unshowered. He hadn't showered since Sunday. He must have stunk." Kate wrinkles her nose at the thought and then starts giggling again, but I don't find it funny. I picture Christian curled up in bed, upset and my heart breaks.

My bottom lip comes out in a dramatic a pout and quivers before I start crying into my hands.

Suddenly, Kate's giggle stops. "No, why are you crying? Don't be a weepy drunk! Be happy!"

"Poor, Christian! I'm a terrible person! Where is my phone? I need to call him!"

"Wait!" She grabs my arm before I can get up. "You don't want to call him all mopey! Here...have another drink to calm your nerves. Then call him."

Two glasses later, the wine is gone and I feel even worse than I did before. I plop down on my bed, finding my phone on my pillow, and pull up his number.

It rings..and rings...and rings and I begin to pout again. _He's ignoring me._

"Anastasia."

My body jolts at his voice and I sit up straighter. _What do I say?_

"Anastasia? Are you there?"

"Chistin...Chis-Christian..." I giggle. "You know, your name is as hard to say as Lelliot's!"

"Ana...have you been drinking?"

"A tiiiinnnyyyy little bit." I hold my hand up, showing him how little and bringing it to my eye to check.

He sighs. "Where are you?"

"Home."

"Why have you been drinking?"

The waterworks start up again and I find myself crying into my hands again.

"Ana?"

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry, Chistin! I'm terrible! I'm a terrible person! I miss you! God, I'm such a bitch!" I sob on the phone to him like a complete lunatic.

"Wait, what? I can't understand you, Anastasia."

"I'm sorry! I miss you. I need to see you. Please?"

"You're drunk, Anastasia. Go to bed."

"You don't want to see me?" My chest hurts.

I hear him sigh. "I don't know."

I start sobbing again. I've ruined everything.

"Shh, Ana. Listen to me."

I grab a kleenex off the nightstand and blow my nose, trying to calm myself down.

"Are you listening?"

I nod.

"Ana?"

"Yes, I'm listening."

"Go to the kitchen and get a bottle of water out of the fridge."

I stand and make my way towards the kitchen.

"Are you doing it?"

I nod, but remember he can't see me. "Yes."

"Good girl. Get in your cabinet and get the Advil out."

"Okay." I go to the cabinet and open it, pulling the container of medicine towards me. I pull it too far and it comes crashing down, hitting me. "Ouch." I hiss, under my breath.

"Anastasia? What was that? Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine." I look down at the floor and spot the Advil, so I bend over and pick it up. "I found it!"

"Great. Good girl. Now take that and your bottle of water and put it on your nightstand."

"Do I eat them now?"

"NO!" His voice is loud and startles me. "Do not take anything right now. Put it on your nightstand...are you doing it?"

The tip of my tongue comes out of my mouth and I sing the Mission Impossible song in my head while I dodge all the bottles strewn across the floor, hopping around on my tiptoes and jumping to get past them. After I'm past the mess in the kitchen I do a victory dance, hearing Kate laugh from the couch.

"I did it!"

"Good girl."

 _Huh?_ Oh, right. _The nightstand._

I muffle a giggle and hurry to my bed, placing them on the nightstand.

"I want you to drink the water and take two Advil when you wake up in the morning, okay?"

"Should I get them out now?" I take the Advil bottle and try to screw off the cap. "Stupid Ana proof cap." I mumble under my breath.

"Just leave the bottle on the nightstand. You'll remember in the morning."

I yank hard and twist, causing the top to come off and the pills go flying into the air and scatter all over my bed, the floor and roll under the bed.

"Oopsies."

"What was that?"

"I got it open."

He sighs. "Oh, Ana...what am I going to do with you?"

I climb off the bed and begin to pick them up. "1...2...3...wait. How many again?"

"Two, Ana. Two. No more than two."

"Now?"

"No. Do not...oh, for fuck's sake! Do not take anything until tomorrow, do you understand?"

"Yes, sir!" I salute him.

"Don't call me that. Now, what did I say?"

"Nothing until tomorrow."

"Good girl. Now, go to bed."

"But, I'm not tired, yet. Kate is here."

"Fuck." I hear him hiss under his breath and I giggle. "Elliot! Go get Kate from Anastasia's apartment! They're drunk."

"Uhmm...Kate. You're in trouble!"

Kate scowls at me from her spot, laying on the couch. "YOU TADDLED?!"

I shrug. "Oops."

She climbs off the couch and makes her way to the bed, almost falling on the way, making me giggle again.

"Anastasia?"

"Yes?"

"Elliot is coming. Get in bed and go to sleep."

My eyes widen and I look at my bed. "I don't think my bed is big enough for Elliot, too."

"Thank fuck for that...I mean, he's coming to pick Kate up. He's going to take her home. You get into bed and get to sleep. I'm going to hang up now."

I pout. "But, I don't want you to go. I'll make room for you in my bed. Elliot can sleep on the couch."

I hear him laugh. "We'll talk in the morning. Call me when you get up."

"Fine." I sigh.

"Now, remind me. How many Advil are you going to take?"

"Um...Two." I look down and open two fingers holding it up.

"And when are you going to take them?"

"Tomorrow."

"Good girl, Anastasia. Good night."

"Goodnight, Christian."

I place my phone beside my water bottle and slide into bed, letting Kate lie next to me. As soon as my head hits the pillow, I yawn. _Maybe I am tired._ I decide to rest my eyes until Elliot gets here.

 _*Rattle-Rattle-Rattle*_

 _What the fuck is that?_

I groan and roll my head to the side. _Oh, I should not have done that._ My head is pounding. The rattling continues, forcing me to open my eyes.

"Ow!" _Now, I definitely shouldn't have done that!_ I squeeze my eyes shut and pull my blanket over my eyes. _Sunlight. Bad._

 _Why do I feel like I'm dying?_

I think back to last night. Kate...wine...crying...Christian...

 _Christian!_ I groan and curl up into a ball under my covers.

"Good morning, sunshine."

I scream and sit straight up in bed. "Christian!" I squint through the sunlight streaming into the apartment, looking to make sure it's really him.

Sure enough, there he is, standing at the end of my bed, the sunlight streaming in on him, copper hair gleaming in the light. He's like Zadkiel, the angel of Mercy. _Oh, please have mercy on me!_

He's giving me an amused grin and I can feel my cheeks warming. I know I must look a mess. I've never had more than two glasses of wine at a time before.

"What-Why-How?" _God, my head hurts._

 ***Christian's POV***

I watch Anastasia squeeze her eyes shut and hold her head. Her hair is a mess, her makeup running down her face. Her eyes are swollen and her face is blotchy, but even then, she's still beautiful.

I make my way towards her with a glass of orange juice and sit on her bed.

"Elliot called me when he picked up Kate and told me how much of a mess the apartment was. He grabbed your spare key out of the fruit bowl for me."

She pulls her cover up and hides her face in it. "Oh, god."

"Here...drink this." I urge, holding out the orange juice.

Her blanket lowers just enough for her blue eyes to peek out.

"Come on, drink it. It'll make you feel better."

I watch her lower her blanket to her lap and she takes it in both hands before bringing it to her lips. She takes a sip and closes her eyes. "I'm sorry, Christian."

"Hush. None of that now. Let's get you better first." I grab the two Advil off her nightstand that I plucked out of her bed earlier. "Here. Take these. It'll calm your headache."

I watch her chew her lip as she stares at my open palm. Slowly, she reaches over and picks them up, her fingertips brushing against the center of my palm and damn it-if it doesn't send an electrical charge up my arm, into my shoulder blade. I'm not sure if I'll ever understand this connection.

After taking her pills, we sit in silence for a few minutes as she drinks her juice. She won't look at me, but I keep my eyes on her face, hoping she might. Anastasia is on a path of self-destruction and I feel personally responsible. The Anastasia I first met seems to be fading the longer we keep up this charade and I know I have to make a choice. I have to convince her to have a vanilla relationship or I have to walk away. The thought of walking away is abhorrent to me, but it's what is best for her. Kate has mentioned to Elliot that Anastasia has been different and it's my fault. I need to get to the bottom of it, but right now, I need to take care of her.

When her glass is empty, I take it from her and I see her wringing her hands. She's uncomfortable that I'm here, but she's just going to have to get over it. _I can't leave her like this._ Liquor is truth serum for many people and if she means what she said last night, she really does want me. She's just fighting it for some damn reason. _I'd really like to spank her._ I know that won't get us anywhere.

"Stay." I tell her before standing to head to the bathroom. She's in serious need of a bath. I plug the tub and begin the water, checking it a few times and changing the tap so that it's a warm, comfortable temperature. While it fills, I look around and see a cabinet. I pull it open and find white towels and wash rags and grab one of each, placing it on the hamper lid.

I hear a throat being cleared and I look up to see Anastasia standing at the door, her feet dancing. "I...I have to..." She points at the toilet and I grin.

"Okay. Use it."

She frowns. "I can't use it with you in here!" She looks at the filling tub and begins to dance a little more.

Chuckling, I decide not to torture her and give her space. I wait on the opposite side of the door and wait for her to finish. When the toilet flushes and the sink turns on, I open the door. She twirls around quickly and then grabs her head.

"Ouch. Christian! What if I wasn't done?"

I make my way towards her and reach behind her, turning off the sink. "I'm not deaf, Anastasia."

I watch her cheeks redden at the thought of me listening to her pee. It doesn't bother me, so I don't know why it should bother her.

"Let's get you undressed." I reach for the hem of her shirt and her eyes widen at me.

"Wha-what?"

"You need to bathe, Anastasia."

Her eyebrows knit together in pain and she rubs her head. "Why does it hurt to think?"

I sigh. "Do you make a habit of this, Anastasia?" I've never seen her drink in excess, but I need to know.

"No, Christian." She looks up at me. "I've never been drunk before."

I'm relieved.

"And I don't want to be ever again."

I nod. "Good. Now, arms up."

She just blinks up at me. "Come on, Anastasia. Do as I say."

She slowly raises her arms, but the shock on her face doesn't leave. I force myself not to grin. I don't think her thinking I'm laughing at her is going to help things. I slip her shirt off of her and her arms automatically go up to her chest, covering herself. I roll my eyes.

"Anastasia...I've licked just about every inch of your body. Do you really think that's going to do any good?" I ask, my eyes flicking down to her crossed arms.

Her face heats up again, but I ignore it and kneel down, pulling her slacks and panties down at the same time. I tap her ankles and she steps out of them and kicks them to the side. Noticing that the bath is finally full, I reach over and turn the tap off and stand up, offering my hand to her.

"In you go."

One arm reaches out for my hand, but she leaves the other over her chest. She steps into the bath and eases herself into it and I kneel next to the bath tub.

She looks at me, confused. "What are you doing?"

"I'm bathing you." I answer, wetting the washcloth. "Face first." I tell her, reaching for her face wash, squeezing some onto the white cloth. I wash her face in small circles and I hear her sigh and out of the corner of my eye, I see her arm finally fall away from her chest. _Finally._ She's warmed up to me. I wash her hair next and leave the conditioner in her hair while I begin to work on her body.

I start on her shoulders, moving to her arms and then work my way down. As I'm cleaning her, she watches me, searching my face. She stays quiet and so do I, the only sound filling the bathroom is the water in the tub.

"Why are you being so good to me?" Her voice is soft and my eyes leave her abdomen to look at her.

"I might not like you right now, but somehow, you've managed to worm your way into my heart. I need to take care of you, Anastasia. It's what I want to do."

Her chin quivers and I see her eyes fill with tears, but she tries to hide it by looking down at the water. "I don't like myself right now, either."

My heart clenches at her admission. She knows she's spiraling out of control. I lean in and kiss her temple. "We'll take care of that. Just relax and let me wash you. I'll have Taylor bring us breakfast and then we'll talk."

She sniffles and nods, but doesn't look up. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, baby."

I see the corners of her mouth twitch into a small smile and I can't help smiling myself. _We'll fix this shit somehow._

XxXxXx

Anastasia and I are lying in her bed, facing each other. She's still nursing a hangover and lying down is much easier for her.

She smiles at me. "Thank you for laying with me."

I return her smile. "I enjoy laying with you, Anastasia."

Her smile fades and her lips press together. She's not looking forward to this next part and neither am I, but it needs to happen.

She takes a deep breath and her index finger twirls in her hair. "I want to apologize for my behavior on Sunday...well, for my behavior since...you know."

My eyebrows knit together. "I'm sorry I hurt you."

She shakes her head. "I just made it worse. I've been thinking about this all week and I need to explain."

I nod, allowing her to continue.

"I guess...I should start at the beginning. My mother met Ray when I was three and when they got married, he officially adopted me and I took his name. They were together for nine years before their marriage fell apart. My mother packed up and forced me to move with her, even though I begged her to let me stay. I had to leave my dad and all my friends behind. We moved to Nashville, where Mom was determined to start fresh. She seemed pretty positive at first, but when she got the finalized divorce papers, she started to drink. It got so bad that sometimes, I had to drag her to bed and clean up after her in the middle of the night.

"She met another guy and she got better, never touched alcohol while he was around...but he wasn't around long and it didn't take her long to be back to the mess she was before. She met two more men before we ended up moving again. The last was abusive towards her and she decided we needed to run away. We ended up in Texas only eight months after moving to Nashville. I had to start school all over again and continue to take care of my emotionally unstable, drunk mother. Men kept coming and going and she always ended up broken-hearted. Her last boyfriend in Texas cheated on her and she moved us to Savannah. At this point, I had had enough and told my Dad everything that had happened and she ended up losing custody and I was back with my father just in time to start high school with all my old friends in Montesano.

"Men completely destroyed my mother. All she wanted was a good man, but she kept finding all of these bastards who did nothing, but take advantage of her...and then I was stuck cleaning up the mess afterward. My mother was so broken. I was determined not to be that way. I guess that's why I never really had a boyfriend...why I never had sex until now. I didn't want the heartache. My mother was dependent on men to make her happy...I didn't want that. I didn't want anyone to be able to have such a strong hold on me.

"When I met you, it's like my whole being went into overdrive. I didn't completely understand my reaction to you or my feelings. I just knew I wanted you so badly. When you gave me your jacket and made the comment that it was okay for me to be taken care of, it sealed my fate. I told myself you were different...that you wanted the commitment and you were willing to put forth the effort. I guess that was the ignorance talking. I don't know much about men. I gave you myself and then you said you wouldn't... _couldn't_ stay and it's like my world crumbled. I had become my mother. I was emotionally raw and falling apart and I needed you gone before you saw me do it.

"I couldn't stay away from you, but I didn't want to be close to you either. I tried my hardest to keep my emotional distance from you, but physically, I couldn't deny you. No matter how hard I tried though, I just kept falling more and more and then we spent the night on the Grace and it was incredible...but bittersweet. I knew you'd hurt me...you were already hurting me. I was so close to falling apart...and then I saw you on Sunday and I guess...I just shattered."

My eyes sting with tears, but I blink them away. _My poor Anastasia._ I move closer to her and wipe one of her tears away.

"Anastasia...I'm so sorry. I hadn't meant to hurt you. That night...when I said I couldn't stay...it wasn't because I didn't want to be committed to you...it was because of my touch issues and my nightmares. I have terrible nightmares and I was worried I'd hurt you in my sleep. I want you, Anastasia. I want the intimacy with you. Not just the sex, but the relationship. I've never been afraid of commitment, Anastasia. Only touch."

"Why? Why do you have your touch issues?" Her eyes wander to my chest, knowing it's my no-go zone.

I sigh and run my hand through my hair.

"Before I was adopted, I lived with my birth mother, who was a prostitute and addicted to drugs. Her pimp was abusive and he use to abuse both of us. The scars on my chest and back are from him. They're cigarette burns."

Anastasia covers her mouth and gasps. "No." She reaches up and places her hand against my cheek and I welcome her affection, although I don't want her pity. "Christian..."

I shake my head. "It was a long time ago, but it still affects me. When someone touches me, it feels like I'm being burned all over again."

"Did they take you away from your mom?"

"She overdosed. The pimp found her and I was locked in the apartment with the crack whore for four days before anyone found us."

She's crying now and I feel terrible. I don't want her to waste anymore of her tears on me. "And that's when you were adopted?"

I shrug. "More or less. Grace was the doctor who looked me over when the police brought me in. I had to stay with a foster family until the paperwork went through...which took about six months."

"Well, you couldn't have asked for a better family..."

I grin. "No, I couldn't."

"It must have been hard to explain your touch issues to your girlfriends in high school."

 _Oh, fuck. Here we go._ "I never had girlfriends in high school. I-" I rub my face. "I'm going to tell you something that only two other people know. I want to be open and honest, to show you that I am wanting and willing to be committed to you. I'm trusting you with this information."

She looks surprised, but shakes her head. "I would never tell anyone."

XxXxXx

Once I'm finished explaining Elena, my past lifestyle, and my prior subs, I can't read Anastasia. She's quiet and her face is expressionless, but her eyes dart around my face, searching it.

"What happened to Elena?"

I shrug. "I haven't seen her since Elliot caught me. I sent her a message, stating that our personal and business relationship was over and gifted her the company. She hasn't fought me on any of it and she hasn't been around my parent's house since then, either."

"Good. I hate her." Her answer makes me chuckle.

"You _really_ never had feelings for any of the past girls?"

I shake my head. "No. It was purely physical...it wasn't like this." Although we've claimed that our relationship has been strictly physical, we've both been lying.

"Why me, then? What makes me different?"

I shrug. I don't have an answer to that. "What makes me different for you?" I ask.

"Touche."

"Are you still interested in having a relationship?"

Her brows knit together. "Of course, I am."

I smile, relieved. "Even though I'm fucked up?"

She giggles. "You're childhood was fucked up, Christian. That doesn't make you that way. Right now, I think I'm the more fucked up one."

I shake my head. "It's all passed us, now. Let's start over. A real relationship. Committed. Without the Bieber fucker getting handsy."

Anastasia smiles. "I'll promise to place boundaries with Ethan if you promise to start calling him by his name." She holds out her hand for me to shake and I just look at it.

"That's a hard bargain, Anastasia...but I accept. Let's kiss on it." I reach over and yank her towards me, making her giggle, and press my lips to hers. Her hands find my hair like they always do and before I know it, I find myself on top of her and she's grinding her hips into mine.

"I need you, Christian."

 _Oh, fuck._

"Please say you brought a condom." She tugs lightly on my hair and I smile. "Oh, thank god." She yanks my head back to hers and her lips find mine again.

XxXxXx

After I recuperate from another round of sex, I slip the condom off my dick and tie it, deciding to let it drop to the floor instead of heading towards the waste bin like I usually do. _I have a better idea._

I roll onto my side and pull her back to me, her back to my chest and I spoon her, nuzzling her neck.

"Oh!" She startles, but soon relaxes against me. "This is new." her hands rest on my arms and she shimmies back until her ass sits perfectly against my groin. My first thought is to grind against her, but I force myself to stay still. _There's plenty of time for that later._

I kiss the spot behind her ear. "This is the way our first time should have ended. I'm sorry."

She shakes her head. "No, no. None of that. We've started fresh, remember?"

 _Right._ I relax back against her and kiss her shoulder.

"Christian?" She turns her head to look at me before relaxing back against her pillow.

"Yea?"

"How can you be so sure you don't need that type of lifestyle anymore?"

"I told you, I left it behind me."

"I know, but do you miss it? I mean...for you...I'm willing to try _some_ things, but I'll never be okay with that punishment stuff...the whips and all that-"

"Ana." I cut her off. "I need you more than I need that lifestyle. I'm sure there are aspects of it I'll miss, but I don't need it. You satisfy me more than BDSM can. I'm not willing to put you in that situation. I don't want you to change for me." I move to kiss her shoulder again, but she ends up moving, turning to her back. Panic starts to rise in my chest, but she grips my arm tightly with both hands, her subtle way of showing me she won't touch me.

"But, I'm new to this whole sex thing, Christian...What if..." She blushes and looks away. _Okay, now I'm intrigued._ "What if I'm curious?"

My eyebrow shoot up. "Curious?"

Her face is crimson and she brings both hands up to hide her face, making me grin. I pull her hands away from her face and she looks over at me.

"You don't have to be embarrassed around me, Anastasia."

She chews her lip and twirls her hair around her finger. _I'm going to have to coax it out of her._

"What do you want to try?"

"Uh...well, I don't think being tied up would be _too_ bad."

"Too bad, huh?" I grin and she hides her face in her hands again.

She nods behind her hands. "I might...like it."

I chuckle and pull her hands away again, kissing her lips. "I don't mind exploring your likes or dislikes, Anastasia, but you have to promise to be honest with me when you don't like something."

She gives me a smile and nods.

"This is going to be fun." I'm giddy. _I'm the luckiest bastard alive._ Not only is Anastasia willing to try for me, but I get to be the one she explores her sexual preferences with. _She's mine and mine only._ I know I'm a selfish asshole and I'm trying to change that, but I'm not willing to share Anastasia.

My lips find hers again and I wrap my arm around her again, turning her and pulling her back against me. "Mine."

She giggles. "As selfish and domineering as ever." She teases.

 _Damn right._ "Sleep." I command, making her giggle more.

"You'll be here when I wake up?"

"Of course, I will."

"Then you've got a deal, boyfriend."

I hum and nuzzle into her neck. _I like the sound of that._


	7. Chapter 7

**Anastasia's POV**

It's been three weeks since Christian and I have become official and everything is going wonderfully. He's still demanding as ever, but I wouldn't take him any other way. He challenges my stubborness and the light bickering is actually quite entertaining. Kate, Mia, and Elliot are aware of our relationship, but Christian's parents don't know, yet and I'm actually quite nervous for him to make that announcement. The last time I was there, I came with Ethan and ended up running out of the house without so much as a goodbye or thank you. _I fail at first impressions._ I've purposely been avoiding their Sunday family dinners, but today is his birthday and I know I can no longer avoid the situation. Tonight we'll be having a small dinner at his parents with his family, Ros and her wife Gwen, Gail and Taylor, and Kate. Christian is picking me up at 5:00 pm so I have the whole day to get ready. I'll be staying at Escala tonight, so I'll have to pack an overnight bag.

I decide to start with my nails and head into the bathroom to pick out a color. Since I'll be meeting his parents, I choose a light pink, pearl color and grab the polish remover and when I'm grabbing the cotton pads out from the back, my lack of coordination causes the few things in front of it to fall. After a dramatic sigh, I kneel down to pick up the contents on the floor. Ear swabs, nail grooming kit, and tampons. _Tampons._ I stare down at the box in my hand. _What day is it? June 18th._

 _Crap._

 _When was my last period?_

 _Think, Ana, think._

My eyes squeeze shut and I think back.

It was the week after Cinco de Mayo weekend. It was taco day at work and I had to miss it because I had to run out to buy these suckers in my hand. _When was that? The 9th?_

"Oh, fuck!" I stand quickly and hit the top of my head on the open cabinet door. I hiss and hold the back of my head as I stand.

"This can't be happening. This can't be happening to me." I half-whisper, going to the mirror. I look closely at my face and then take a step back, pulling up my shirt. _I don't look pregnant. Maybe it's a fluke._ I snort. _Of course you don't look pregnant, Steele. You're like what? Two seconds pregnant?_

"I am not pregnant." I tell myself in the mirror. _I've only had a sex life for two months! This can't be happening!_ We used a condom every time. I don't get what went wrong! How am I suppose to go to his parents tonight and-

"No!" _The reminder fuck. I'LL KILL HIM._

The nail polish lay forgotten on my bathroom floor as I hurry to throw my hair on the top of my head and slip on some flip flops before hurrying out of my apartment to Wal-Green's, which is right down the street. It's a quick five minute walk and when I get there, I stare at the wall of tests. _Which one do I get?_

"Screw it."

I start throwing one of each kind into my basket and make my way towards the front to pay. The teenage girl looks into my basket when I place it on the counter and I scowl at her. _Don't judge me you little cow!_

The teenage girl doesn't say a word as she scans and bags my items. I quickly pay the $119.21 for my massive amount of pregnancy tests and hurry out the door and back towards my apartment. I struggle with the lock and, when I get in the door, I immediately grab a bottle of water and head towards the bathroom. I place the bag of tests next to the toilet and, after pulling down my bottoms and having a seat, I pull one out. _EPT: Error Proof Test._

 _Let's start with this one._

I read the directions carefully with shaky hands and decide to open it and the rest, lining them up on the side of the tub so I can grab them quickly as I pee. I decide to chug the water bottle first and then grab the _EPT_ first. One after another I hold it under my stream and manage to pee on three before I stop. I grab a fourth one and force myself to go again, but after the fourth, I have nothing left.

I leave them on the side of the bath tub while I flush and wash my hands and I find myself unable to turn around. _They have to be negative. They have to be._

 _You're just being ridiculous, Steele. This is all in your head. You're just late._ I nod at myself and take a deep breath, turning towards the offensive sticks and bend over to look at them. _Two lines, two lines, plus symbol, 'Pregnant'._

"Oh, fuck." My hands go over my mouth and I hit my knees as I continue to stare at them. _This cannot be happening to me._

My phone pings in my back pocket and I startle back to the present. I pull it out of my pocket and see a text from Christian.

 _*Can't wait to unwrap my present tonight. Hoping it's wrapped in red.*_

My shoulders sag as I read the message and I just want to cry. _My Christian._ It's his birthday and I guarantee that this will ruin it. I need to wait to tell him. _Maybe I'll tell him tomorrow._

 _*Your present will be wrapped and waiting.*_ I send back, feeling sick. I feel like by omitting this information, I'm lying to him, but I want him to have a great birthday. He deserves it. He works hard and this will be his first birthday without that child molester sticking her nose into it and he'll finally be able to relax with his family. _I'll tell him tomorrow. It's best to wait._

I tell myself it's best to wait, but it isn't a minute later that I find myself sobbing into my pillow like the world is ending. I'm twenty-two years old. My first real relationship. And this happens. _What if Christian leaves me?_ Kate is always joking that pregnancy tests are magic wands that make men disappear...what if she's right? _But Christian said he wasn't afraid of commitment._ He told me I could depend on him during the tough times...well, this is one of them isn't it? He might be upset, but he won't just leave me... _would he?_

I force myself to regain my composure and head back towards the bathroom to get ready. I take all the tests and throw them in the garbage, putting the rest of them back in the bag and hiding them in the back of my cabinet. I pull out my nail polish and remover and stare at it. _Are the fumes bad for the baby?_ I look down at my stomach and back at the polish. _I am so not mother material._ I know nothing about babies or being pregnant.

I decide to forego the polish and just leave my fingers bare at the moment. I decide on a long, hot shower instead to try and cleanse my body and mind, before heading into my closet to find my red dress, as requested by the birthday boy.

Fast forward a few hours and a couple breakdowns later and I'm dressed and ready for Christian to pick me up. I really wish he'd just let me drive to his place, but since becoming official, he always refuses. His way of making sure I don't try to leave, I guess.

There's a knock at the door and I grab my handbag and hurry to open the door. Christian is standing there in a navy suit with matching shirt and he looks delicious.

"You look incredible, Ana." His arm snakes around my waist and he pulls me to him, kissing me soundly.

"Happy birthday." I smile up at him, forcing myself to swallow my nerves. All I really want to do is close the door and cry into my pillow a little longer, but I've got to pull up my big girl panties and face this head on.

He returns my smile and leans down to nibble on my neck. "It is, indeed, Miss Steele." He murmurs, continuing his assault across my neck. His facial hair tickles, making my giggle and I squirm away from him.

"You're going to make my neck all red." I push him by his arms away from me.

"So?"

My eyes widen. "We're going to your parents!"

He gives me a nod. "Oh...right."

I roll my eyes at him and make my way into the hall, causing him to swat my bum playfully.

I hear him groan and I look over my shoulder. "Your ass looks phenomenal."

I grin at him and shake it a little. "You'll get to unwrap it later. Come on, birthday boy. I'm sure everyone would like to see you." I start walking and just like I knew he'd be, he's right on me, his groin pressed up against the small of my back and his arm around my waist as we make our way to the elevator.

XxXxXx

 _Please, don't let his parents hate me. Oh, please don't let them hate me._

"Mom, you remember Anastasia?" Christian states with his hand on the small of my back.

She gives me a small nod and a forced smile. _Oh, god. She hates me._ "Nice to see you again, Anastasia."

His mother doesn't offer her hand, so I just give her a nod. "Likewise, Dr. Trevelyan. Thank you for having me. I apologize for running out so quickly during my last visit. I wasn't feeling very well."

His mother waves me off. "Don't worry about it, Anastasia. Christian explained that you weren't."

I smile at her. _Thank god Christian vouched for me._

I say hello to Mr. Grey while he sits at the table and he just nods at me while he take a sip of his drink. I begin to wonder if his father is just flat, but looking up at Christian, I know it's not the case. Christian is scowling at his father over the flat greeting and I now know that he isn't happy with Christian's choice of a girlfriend. I've ruined my welcome by coming with Ethan last time.

Mia greets me with a warm hug and then Christian introduces me to Ros and Gwen, both who I've heard a lot about, and who both seem to warm to me quickly. It isn't long before Kate and Elliot arrives and I find myself wanting to stick to her side for some reason. When she makes her way over to the opposite side of the room to talk to Mia, I have to force myself to stay with Christian.

I slip my hand in his, but it offers little to no comfort in this situation. His parents are already having a hard time with me and once they find out what I'm carrying, they might write me off forever. _Hell, I still don't know if Christian is going to do the same._ I might end up a single mom, living in a studio apartment, cutting every corner I can to make ends meat. The thought of being a mother scares the shit out of me. I blink away my tears before anyone notices and force my mind into the present as I listen to Christian and Ros go on about something in Detroit.

Gretchen, the maid, comes through with glasses of wine and Christian grabs us two and offers me one. _Oh, shit._ I just look down at his hand. _What do I do?_

"What's wrong, Ana? I thought you loved white wine?" Christian's eyebrows knit together and I hurry and take it before he gets suspicious.

"I do. Thank you." I give him a forced smile and he takes a sip, keeping his eyes on me. I put my lips around the rim and tip it back, faking a sip.

"Good?" He asks, grinning. _He must have picked the wine for tonight._

I nod. "Delicious, babe."

He gives me a wink and takes another swig, before continuing his conversation with Ros. I see Kate in the corner alone with Elliot and I decide to grab her. I need support from someone. I squeeze Christian's arm to let him know I'm walking away and make my way towards her. I catch her eye halfway there and I nod subtly to the bathroom. She nods in understanding and hands Elliot her wine. I place mine on the bar and we meet in the hallway, where I link my arm with hers and shuffle us into the bathroom, closing it, and then locking it for good measure.

"Ana? What's going on?"

I ring my hands and begin to pace. "I've kind of got something to tell you..."

She watches me pace, regarding me intently. "Woah. This sounds serious...what are you...pregnant?"

I stop pacing and look at her, biting my lip.

"No! Ana! That was my joke guess!"

"SH!" I place my hand over her mouth. "Keep your voice down!"

I release her mouth and she just stares at me wide eyed. "There's no way. Are you sure?"

I nod. "I haven't been to the doctor or anything, but I took four pregnancy tests today. All positive."

"Get out! How did Christian respond?"

I give her a guilty look.

"You haven't told him, yet?"

I continue to wring my hands and chew my lip. "Well...it's his birthday. I didn't want to upset him."

"Oh, my god, Ana. He is going to freak."

I frown. _I was afraid she'd say that._ I feel my eyes start to fill with tears and Kate fans at my face with her hands.

"None of that!" _She's right._ The last thing I want is to look like a raccoon for dinner. She wraps me in a hug and squeezes me to her and I welcome the affection.

"What am I going to do, Kate?"

"Whatever you decide, I promise to support you 100%."

"What if Christian doesn't want anything to do with the baby?" The thought makes my heart ache.

Kate releases me, but takes my hands. "If you don't feel like you can do it by yourself...there's always other options." My eyes widen at her words. "Have you thought about those options if Christian decides to be a deadbeat?"

"Options?" My mind is on overload. I haven't even been able to wrap my head around the fact that Christian might walk away, let alone think about the options.

She nods. "Adoption...abortion..."

I wince. "I-"

There's a rap on the door. "Is everything okay in there?" It's Elliot.

Kate unlocks the door and Elliot opens it. "Dinner is about ready. What's going on in here?"

Kate smiles at him, but I can tell that it's forced. "Just a little girl talk. Lost track of time. We'll be in a sec."

Elliot looks back and forth between the two of us so I force a smile and a nod. When he disappears, Kate hugs me again. "We'll continue this later, k?"

She releases me and I follow her back into the sitting room, where Christian is waiting.

"Everything okay, baby?" He looks worried as he holds his hand out to me, but I give him a nod and a smile.

"Yep. Just some girl talk."

XxXxXx

During dinner, Kate sits next to me and, when no one is looking, she switches our glasses to make it look like I'm drinking. I'm thankful that there is also water goblets on the table or I would be dehydrated by the time I finished this dry chicken breast.

"Since Christian always refuses presents, we did as he requested and the family has donated $5,000 to Coping Together." Dr. Trevelyan announces and we all clap. "Now, it's time for Christian's favorite part of his birthday."

Christian beams and I find it adorable. "Your homemade chocolate cake?"

She smiles at him and leans down to kiss his cheek. "That's right, darling."

'Happy Birthday' is sung while Gretchen brings out a large, round chocolate cake with candles in it. It looks rich, but delicious. Dr. Trevelyan takes it from her and places it in front of Christian.

"Thank you, Mommy." He states, grinning at his cake.

She laughs and rolls her eyes, but she's smiling and I can tell how much she adores Christian's playfulness.

While we eat, everyone is smiling and laughing and I forget about the little thing growing in my stomach, until we're about to leave.

My stomach turns sour and I force my thoughts away from it for now. It's still his birthday and I don't want to ruin it.

On our way back to Escala, I realize I forgot my bag. "Christian...I wasn't aware that we were supposed to donate...I bought you a present...but it's in my bag I forgot at home. I'm sorry."

He smiles at me. "It's not a big deal. We'll stop by and grab your clothes. Taylor?"

Taylor nods from the front. "On my way to Miss Steele's now."

Christian pulls me closer to him and I can see his iron gray eyes darken. He nuzzles his nose with mine and I grin at him.

"Can't unwrap your present just yet, Mr. Grey."

He kisses my lips lightly. "How 'bout just a peek?" He wiggles his eyebrows.

"Hmm..." I pretend to think about it and he pounces on me, knocking my on my back against the seat, and starts to nip along my neck, making me squeal.

"I think my present is defective...it squeaks. Maybe I should take it back."

I laugh. "Sorry, no returns."

He pulls out of my neck and smiles down at me. "Thank fuck for that."

 ***Christian's POV***

"It won't take long, Christian. My bag is packed, I just have to grab it off my bed." Anastasia states as she slips the key into the lock of her apartment.

I'm not too concerned. It's still early and I have plenty of time to ravish her this weekend. "Mind if I take a piss?"

She rolls her eyes at my crassness. "You don't have to ask, Christian."

I give her a cheeky grin and pinch her ass on my way to the toilet. Not bothering to close the door, I relieve my bladder, giving my dick a few shakes before tucking it back into my pants, and proceed to wash my hands. As I'm drying my hands, my eyes wander down to her trash can and my whole body stills. I can feel my heart beating hard against my rib cage and I bend down to pick up the white stick. _Holy fuck. This better be Kate's._

I make my way out with the offensive piece of plastic and hold it up. "What is this?"

She turns towards me and, by her body language, I can tell it isn't Kate's. She's gone pale, her eyes are wide as saucers and her arms begin to shake.

 _This isn't possible. We've used a condom every time._ The thought makes me sick to my stomach.

"Who's the father?"

Her look turns from frightened to angry in a matter of a second. "How dare you! You think I cheated on you?"

"We used a condom every fucking time, Anastasia. If you haven't slept with anyone else, then how'd this happen? Have you been tampering with the condoms? Why the fuck would you do this?" I can feel my own anger radiating out of me. Rage is filling every pore in my body. There is no fucking way I'm going to let her manipulate me like this.

"Excuse me? _Tampering?_ Tampering...you know what..." She begins to pace, her face beet red from anger, but I couldn't give a fuck. She points to her stomach. " _THIS_ happened because of the reminder fuck you just _had_ to give me in your parent's library! You've certainly done a fucking _fantastic_ job at reminding me that I am yours! Especially since I'm carrying _your_ child!"

 _No. No. This can't be._ I rub my face with my free hand and squeeze my eyes shut, trying to remember that night. _Fuck._ I feel like the walls are closing in on me. I'm suddenly claustrophobic and I need to get out of here.

"I've...I've got to go." I stride out of her apartment without so much as a look back at her. _I can't handle this._

 _Happy fucking birthday to me._ How the fuck did this day go from the best birthday of my life to the worst in less than five minutes?

I run down the stairs, not willing to stand in the small elevator. _I need fresh air._ I run like hell out to the SUV and jump in before Taylor can even get his door open.

"Elliot's. Now." I bark at him, before running my hand over my face again. _This isn't happening. This has to be a nightmare._

"Miss Steele?"

I growl out in frustration. "She isn't coming. Just go!"

I look down at the positive pregnancy test that I realize I've had in a death grip and try to make sense of it all. _God must be playing some sick joke._ He wants me to suffer. I knew what I had with Anastasia was too good to be true. I knew as soon as I fell in love with her that something would fuck it up. _For fuck's sake._ I haven't even told her, yet. This is fucking ridiculous. I can't be a father. _I just can't._ The child will end up being so fucked up. _Fuck. The child is fucking everything up already._

 _Why can't I just enjoy a 'normal' life for awhile?_

When we make it to Elliot's, Taylor opens my door and when I slide out, his eyes wander down to the stick in my hands. _Don't say one fucking word._

"Stay." I tell him, hurrying up the pathway to Elliot's front door. I hit the doorbell over and over, hoping it'll make him open the door faster.

"Christian?" Elliot is confused by my presence and I see that Kate is standing next to him. "What are you doing here?"

"She's pregnant." I state, getting straight to the point, and hold up the test.

"Oh, fuck." He mumbles under his breath.

"You left her? You left her alone." Kate is angry at me. Fuck off. She grabs her things off the entryway table. "I've got to make sure she's okay." She pecks Elliot on the cheek, pushing me out of her way with her elbow as she steps out. We both watch her get into her Mercedes and drive away.

I hear Elliot sigh and turn to see him running his hand through his hair.

"What the fuck am I going to do?" I sound panicked, because I am.

"Well...I don't think running out on her was the best decision..." He mentions, opening his door further to let me in.

"I need liquor." I head straight downstairs and to the bar, pouring myself a double whiskey. For some reason, I find myself picking the stupid plastic stick back up.

I make my way back through the basement and see him standing in front of the couch, waiting for me. He points to the seat. "Sit."

I comply, my feet dragging me to the leather couch, and I plop down on it, careful not to spill a drop of the liquid gold I have in my hand. I take a deep swig from my tumbler and look down at positive test again. _It isn't going to change, Grey, no matter how long you look at it._ I shake it a little, as if it's going to change the result.

"Do you think you could put the pee stick down?"

I cock an eyebrow at him and look back down at it before tossing it onto the coffee table.

His nose wrinkles in disgust. "Uh...yea. Thanks for that." He shakes his head. "What happened?"

My head drops back against the back of the couch and I sigh. "I found it in her trashcan."

"You went through her trash?"

I lift my head and scowl at him. "No! I happened to see it laying on top. I asked her about it and we got into a fight."

"What'd you say?"

"I first asked who the father was-"

"Ouch!" Elliot hisses, but I ignore him.

"-Then I accused her of messing with the condoms."

"You realize you're an idiot?"

I roll my eyes. "I can't do this. I can't be a father. This kid is going to fuck everything up! _I'm_ going to fuck this kid up!"

"And why do you think that?"

" _Do you know me?_ I'm fucked up!"

Elliot snorts and rolls his eyes. "You're childhood was fucked up. That doesn't mean you are. If you don't get your head out of your ass and start thinking logically, this kid is going to end up having a fucked up childhood, too. Ana is great, but children need both parents. You honestly want your child growing up, thinking that you never wanted them? That they were never good enough for you? Knowing that you left their mother, because of them."

I frown at the thought. _That's enough guilt to eat anyone alive, let alone a child._

"You're really going to let Ana raise it alone? Like your birth mother had to? Like her mother had to?"

 _Fuck._ I know Ana's biggest worry was that she would turn into her mother and, because I'm a jackass, she might just end up there.

"What if the kid ends up like me?"

Elliot gives me a curious look. "Like you? What do you mean?"

"Angry, out of control, bitter. What if they-"

"They aren't going to end up doing what you did. You were taught at a very impressionable age that the lifestyle was the right one. You were abused. Neglected by your birth mother, beat by her pimp, and abused in every way possible by Elena. You've gone through hell and somehow made it out alive and relatively normal. You're protective, possessive, and assertive. Give your child the type of love and life that you wish you had. It's a blessing, dude. Embrace it."

 _Embrace it._

 _Can I?_

"How would you feel about another man marrying Anastasia and raising your child?"

"They're mine." I growl out, surprising myself. The thought of another man in not only Ana's life, but in _my_ child's life...my flesh and blood...makes me rageful.

Elliot grins. "Exactly."

"I need to apologize."

He nods and I down the rest of my drink, before standing and making my way towards the stairs.

"Hey, bro?"

I stop in my tracks and turn to look at him.

"Congratulations."

I smile. "Thanks."

On my way up, Kate comes through the door, confusing me. She looks even more upset than she did when she left and I feel panic rise in my chest.

"What's wrong, Kate?"

"Ana...she's not at home. She isn't answering her phone. I don't know where she is."

 _Ethan._

My rage overwhelms me and I stomp my way out to the SUV and put my hand up, halting Taylor's movement from the car. I let myself in and slam the door harder than needed.

"Ethan Kavanagh's. Now."

"Sir? Do you have an address?"

"No, I don't! Why don't you do your fucking job and look it up?!" I bark at him, before turning my head to look out the window. _The Bieber fucker better not even think about touching her._

XxXxXx

I pound on the blonde fucker's door, yelling at him to open up. The door is pulled open and the asshole is standing there, looking dumbfounded. _Don't play fucking innocent with me your dumb fuck._

I push past him, looking around the room.

"What the fuck, man?!"

"Where is she?"

"Who?" I hear the door shut behind me and I spin around to look at him.

"Ana!"

He shakes his head. "I haven't seen Stasia."

"You're lying...ANA!" I call out, heading towards the hall, where I begin to open doors. The asshole follows me.

"I'm not lying. She isn't here! Why the hell are you looking for her? Wasn't she with you tonight?"

I stop, seeing that the last bedroom is empty, and turn towards him. "She was. We had a fight and I left and now we can't find her."

His whole body tenses. "YOU LOST HER?"

"I didn't lose..." I growl in frustration. "She's just somewhere we haven't looked! She ran off somewhere. I thought she'd be here."

"Fuck this." He makes his way back down the hall and I follow, scowling. _What the fuck does he think he's going to do?_

He picks up his phone and puts it to his ear.

I shake my head. "Kate and I have been trying. She won't pick up."

"She'll pick up for me." He states, but I hear it go to voicemail. He pokes the disconnect button and redials her number. A small part of me is satisfied that she didn't pick up for the fucker. _Not so cocky now, are you, asshole?_

 ***Ana's POV***

I stare at the open door after Christian runs out like a bat out of hell. I feel pain overpowering my anger for him. Betrayal and sadness course through my heart and it's physically painful. I can feel my muscles starting to contract and tense and I take a seat on the futon.

 _Was I right all along? Should I have kept him at arms length?_ I let myself be vulnerable and I opened my heart to him just to have it and my pride stomped on like I always feared.

 _Does he think so little of me?_ He thinks I am some kind of gold digger. How can he even accuse me of such things? It feels like a knife through my heart. _He doesn't know me at all._

I feel the walls closing in as sobs wrack through my body. My already small apartment seems even more small. I grab my keys and leave, locking the door on my way. I know I am in no condition to drive, but I get in the car anyway. Sitting here, I realize I have no idea where to go. I feel lost. I can call Kate, but I know she's with Elliot and I don't need their pity.

I drive for what feels like hours, but really, it's only about half an hour. I pull up outside the marina and get out, inhaling the fresh air into my aching lungs. It feels like every fiber of me is hurting. I walk through the marina, passing the big boats bobbing on the water, but I don't appreciate the beauty like I did before... like I did when Christian brought me here for our first date out. He took my virginity and my heart that night. _It's also the first time he broke it._ I don't know why I came here. Maybe I wanted to feel close to him? I wanted to remember how happy he made me feel that day.

I find a bench to sit on and pull my jacket closer. I should have kept him at an arms length. I should have never fell for his charming personality. I should have listened to my subconscious and continued to mind my own business and stay away from men. _Should have_. There are a lot of things I should have done. It won't do any good thinking in regret.

I have made a mess out of my life. I have become someone I don't recognize anymore. I have been naive and stupid and I realize I have, indeed, turned into my mother. That realization send chills down my body. I lost control of my emotions and I let a man and my loss of control lead me into a cluster fuck.

I put my hands on my belly and a strange emotion takes over me, making me tear up. There is a child inside me, a living being. It feels unreal. I think about the conversation with Kate and what she asked me about the options. I can't even think about abortion. I can't kill this defenseless baby; they are innocent in all of this. My heart clenches at the thought. The more reasonable one is adoption. _It makes sense_. Going by Christian's reaction, I know he won't want anything to do with the baby. I can find a nice couple, so the baby can have a happy, stable family.

But my heart hurts at the thought of giving my baby up for someone else to raise. I can't live like that; I would be miserable. It's my baby. _Christian's baby_. A baby Christian and I made. _I don't care if he wants it._ This child is more important than Christian...more important than our fucked up relationship. If he doesn't want the baby, then he doesn't want me. We're a packaged deal.

I wipe away my tears and sit straighter, determination and hope coursing through me. I may have become like my mother, but it's not too late. I've chosen my baby and I already love them with all my heart. I will try my best to give them the life and future they deserve. I don't need a man and I will never let another one play me like this. I cup my belly protectively. _Mine._

"I love you, baby, and I promise I will be the best mother I can be to you." I whisper to my stomach, patting it gently. I've never been more sure of anything in my life. I walk with newfound confidence and determination towards my car. _It's time for Anastasia Steele 2.0._


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Pinterest is updated, hope you all enjoy!**

 ***Christian's POV***

After leaving Bieber wannabe's, I have Taylor bring me back to Anastasia's apartment. Her Pontiac is gone, so I know she didn't go on foot. All I can do is go up and wait for her at her door.

"Taylor, you may go home. I'll call you when I need you." _I'll sit at her door all fucking night if I have to._

He gives me a nod and I climb out and head towards her apartment. Once I get to her door, I knock, hoping she's there, but no one answers. I check the door and it's locked. _I really wish I would have kept that key._

I slide down her door and make myself comfortable. _I might be here all night._ I pull out my cell and begin to work through my emails while I wait. Fortunately, I don't wait long.

I hear footsteps and look up to see Ana walking straight towards me. Her eyes find mine and she stops mid stride. She looks surprised to see me, but her face quickly becomes expressionless, her swollen red eyes cold. There's a twist in my gut at the sight of her tear stained face. _Again, I am the reason why she's been crying._ I'm the reason for her heartache and I absolutely hate it. I sit stone still, frozen in my spot, worried she might make a run for it if she sees any movement. I see her straighten and stand taller, more confident, as she strides towards the door. The air between us is different...cold. The electric current that can usually be felt between us when we first meet isn't there. Something is different... _she is different._

I stagger to my feet as she reaches me, but she completely ignores my presence and opens the door without a word or a look back. I'm standing so close to her, but she feels like a stranger. It's unsettling.

"Ana baby." I reach up to take her hand as she opens the door to her apartment, but she recoils from my touch, like it's toxic...like _I'm_ toxic. _Fuck._

"Don't touch me." She grits out angrily, a disgusted look on her face. I feel my chest tighten in panic.

"Ana...you have to understand. I just needed some time to process this." It's a weak explanation, but it's all I can think to get out before she slams the door in my face.

She steps into her apartment and turns around, scowling at me. "I can understand needing time to process, but the way you handled it is far different. I know our relationship has been nonconventional for the most part, but I thought you knew me better. Accusing me of cheating and then of getting pregnant on purpose is just plain hurtful. If you actually think so little of me, then you should have never pursued me in the first place!"

She slams the door in my face and I'm caught, looking like a deer in the headlights. I know that there is no excuse for what I accused her of; I know I'm a bastard for hurting her so deeply. The last thing Anastasia wanted to be was her mother and she would never cheat, nor would she want a child out of wedlock.

I stand there staring at the door and my guilt slowly turns into anger. Anastasia has shut this door on me one too many times. I am not about to walk away now. We are going to finish this. _If I have to knock this fucker down to get to her, I will._

I knock, but she doesn't answer, so I try the handle, and by the grace of God, it opens. A part of me wants to admonish her for not making sure it's locked, but since it's to my advantage this time, I won't mention it.

"Get out!"

I shut the door behind me and put my hands up in front of me, trying to keep my newly-expectant girlfriend from getting too worked up again.

"We need to talk, Anastasia."

"About what?" Her tone is cold and I watch her head towards the fridge.

 _She's kidding right?_

"About what? What do you think? The baby!"

She turns around, shutting the fridge door and I see a bottle of water in her hand. _Good. She needs to stay hydrated._

"There's no need. You've made it perfectly clear that you want nothing to do with this child, so I'll raise the child myself. Nothing you can say is going to stop me. This baby is more important than you and more important than our relationship. My mother always put men first and I sure as hell am not going to do the same. If you're so worried about me being a gold-digger, I'll even do one better and I'll leave your name off the birth certificate. That way, you won't have to worry about me coming after your money. "

"Anastasia...I'm sorry I accused you of those things. I got so used to women trying to trap me or take advantage of the possibility of financial gain, that my mind just automatically jumped to that conclusion. I know that you would never do something like this on purpose, especially with your history with your mother. I don't want you to raise our child alone." The visual of a brunette and a copper-headed toddler living in squalor pops into my head, but instead of it being my mother and me, it's Ana and our baby. I can feel the bile rising in my throat at the thought. _Never._

"You want to co-parent?"

My eyebrows knit together. _What the fuck does that mean?_ "I want to be there for the baby and for you. I want to be a father; it's my responsibility to take care of you and our child."

"I can take care of myself, Christian."

I roll my eyes. I can't help, but think that she did a piss-poor job of it when she didn't have a job, considering she passed out in front of me.

"I am glad you want to be in this child's life, but I don't think we should try to force our relationship just because of the baby. The child will suffer more if we're miserable."

"What the fuck are you talking about? We're not pushing anything! _We're in a relationship, Anastasia!_ "

She shakes her head. "The things you said to me tonight...how you really think of me...has made me change how I think of you. We can co-parent. You can be there in our child's life and you can even be there during the ultrasounds and doctor's appointments if you want to be...but us...I just don't think I can bear it right now. It makes me sick to my stomach."

My eyes fill with tears, but right now, I couldn't give a fuck about looking like a pussy. The pain in my chest is almost unbearable. _I've got to save this._

"But, I love you."

She so taken aback by my admission, that she actually takes a step back. "You...you what?"

I make my way around the counter to be closer to her and cup her face.

"I love you." My voice is strangled and I'm doing the best to keep my tears from falling. "Don't you?"

"I..." She looks away from my and pulls my hands off her face. "I don't know how I feel."

My heart has just plummeted into my stomach and my tears make an escape and fall down my cheeks. "Ana...I need you."

She keeps her eyes on her feet and chews her lip. "I needed you, but you left. You told me it was okay to have someone else take care of me for a change. You told me I could depend on you for anything...and you left. You don't _need_ me, Christian. You've been doing fine without me. It's just your guilt making you feel this way."

 _No._ I shake my head. "I love you, Ana. _I need you_. If I could take back everything I said, I would in heartbeat. I was stupid for saying that. I don't know why the hell I said it. Please, if you'd just-"

"Christian...I think it's best if we took some time to calm down. Why don't you go home and get some sleep? It's late."

"But, Ana-"

"Please, Christian. I'm tired, I'm upset. I just want to go to bed."

I pull at my hair, not knowing what to do. _I want to be close to her._ Suddenly, an idea pops into my head. "Well, can I at least tell the baby goodnight?"

Her eyebrows knit together. "I highly doubt the baby even has ears at this point."

"You said that I could be as involved as I want to be and, if I can't stay, then I want to say goodnight to our baby."

She crosses her arms and narrows her eyes at me, but I continue to look at her expectantly. Finally, she huffs and throws her arms up before they hit the sides of her thighs.

"Fine! Make it quick."

I grin and immediately kneel in front of her, but realize she has her dress still on. "Um, Anastasia...I can't get to the baby."

"You've got to be kidding."

I look up at her and cock my eyebrow at her. "If the baby is tiny, then don't you think the baby's ears are tiny, too? I want the baby to know my voice, Anastasia." I know I'm being completely ridiculous right now, but I want skin-on-skin. I want to be close to both Ana and our child.

She rolls her eyes and looks up at the ceiling with her hands on her hips. "If I change into my pajamas, will you promise to say goodnight quickly and go?"

"Yes." A grin forms on my face, knowing I've won this small battle. I watch her walk away and I stand, moving across her apartment to have a seat on the bed in front of the bathroom door. Her allowing me to have the close connection with her and the baby has given me a hope that I hadn't had a few minutes ago. I will make it up to her. I will show her how much she means to me. _I'll give her so many hearts and flowers that she'll have no choice, but to forgive me._ We _will_ be a family.

 ***Anastasia's POV***

I slip off the uncomfortable red dress and use the restroom before sliding on a comfy black tanktop and my pink flannel shorts. I throw my hair on top of my head and take my time washing my face and brushing my teeth before heading back out to Christian. _He can wait._

I find him on my bed and I'm a little annoyed, but I've already upset him enough on his birthday to fight him on it. I'm sure this is not what he had in mind for his birthday.

He gives me a forced smile when he sees me and I step closer to him. He has an affect on me when I'm close, but it's not the same as it was before. I'm so disappointed in what he said, that I just don't have the love for him that I did before. He was just so hateful. He opens his legs so I can step between them and he brings both his hands up slowly to rest on my stomach. I watch him take a deep breath and he looks rather pensive. _I wish I could read his mind._

After a few more seconds of silence he lifts my tank top up to my ribs and places his hands back on my flat stomach. I'm not sure if he's in awe at the thought of it or if he's just trying to keep himself calm. I really do hope there's a part of him that is happy about the baby and not just putting on a show.

"Our child really is in there." He whispers and I can't help a small laugh. He looks up at me with a grin before leaning forward and kissing my stomach above my belly button. My hands flex and my arms raise, wanting to touch his hair, but I force them back down at my sides. I need to stand my ground and not crumble so easily. He needs to know that I'm not going to be treated badly. My mother allowed men to abuse and walk all over her and I refuse to do the same. I don't want my child thinking that it's okay to be treated ugly by a man.

His lips are soft and warm and I can't help, but relax a little at the touch.

"Hello, baby. I'm your daddy." His head moves back and his eyes widen. "Oh, wow."

I can't help, but be entertained by his epiphany. I watch him shake his head slightly and his face comes back to my stomach.

"I want you to know that I already love you and that I will keep you and your mommy safe and sound. I won't let anything bad happen to you. I promise."

I have to swallow back tears I hear his promises. He's promising his child safety because he was never given it when he needed it the most. Even after he was adopted, he was beaten and molested and the thought of my own child going through that is devastating.

"I don't know much about being a parent, but I promise I'll do my best. I'll probably screw up a lot, but I'll try to make up for it if you'll just be patient with me. I've broken your mommy's trust, but I'm hoping to show her that I can make it up to her too, if she'll be patient with me, too." His eyes wander up to mine as I watch him talk and I can't help but reach up and slip a hand through the back of his hair. _A small peace offering for the moment._

"Go ahead and say goodnight, Christian." _I need to go to bed._

He sighs and nuzzles into my stomach with his nose and I find myself swallowing back tears, yet, again. He takes a deep breath in and lets it out through his nose and I can feel his warm breath against my abdomen.

"Mommy says I have to say goodnight now, but I promise to talk to you more later. Goodnight, baby Grey."

My whole body tenses at his name for the baby. _Is the baby going to have his name? Do I want it to have his name?_ I don't want my last name to be different than my baby's. _I've got to decide soon._ I leave it be for now, worried it'll cause another fight. We'll save that for another day.

He kisses my stomach one last time and I take a step back and pull my shirt back down.

"I'd really like to stay."

I chew my lip. "Well, you could have stayed...if you hadn't behaved so irrationally earlier, we could have both been tucked in bed, naked and sated by now. Instead, we're forced to sleep alone." It comes out harsh, but I'm angry. I'm angry at the thought of how this night could have ended. _How much better it could have been._

"We're not being _forced_ to do anything."

Taking a cleansing breath, I find my center. "Goodnight, Christian."

He frowns and bows his head, looking down at his feet. He doesn't move or say anything and I wonder if I'm going to have to be more forceful. I open my mouth to tell him to bug off, but he suddenly lifts his head and nods.

"Okay, I'll let you sleep."

I give him a relieved smile.

"...and I'll call you in the morning."

My smile fades a little and he gives me a cheeky grin as he stands, leaning over to kiss my cheek, before heading out.

"Oh...and make sure you lock your door this time. It isn't safe." He gives me a salute as I scowl at him and shuts the door behind him.

I let out a frustrated huff and stomp my way to the door to do just that. After the lock clicks I hear, "Good girl, Anastasia."

I can't help, but give the one fingered salute to my door before heading back to bed.

XxXxXx

I spent Sunday in my apartment alone and it was refreshing. I had plenty of time to think and lounge around and overdose on Netflix and food. Kate called me and I reassured her that everything is fine. I didn't tell her that Christian and I aren't together, but really, it's no one's business, but ours. They can think what they want. I also asked her not to mention my pregnancy to Ethan, that I wanted to tell him myself, face to face. He texted and asked what was going on and I found out that Christian showed up at his apartment looking for me. Since he didn't bring up the fact that I'm pregnant, I'm going to guess that Christian hasn't told him. I apologized profusely about Christian showing up and making an ass out of himself and once Ethan assured me that it was okay and that the raving lunatic was only trying to find me and make sure I was alright, I decided to let Christian's lunacy pass for the time being. Ethan's still pissed that Christian was an ass to me in the first place, and I know that it's still going to be awkward when they're around each other, but they're just going to have to get over it. Neither one of them are going to disappear from my life anytime soon, so they have no choice but to suck it up...for my sake and the baby's.

I still have to decide on when and how I am going to tell Ethan. I know he feels protective over me just like he does Kate, and he might have the urge to hunt Christian down and tear his balls off. For Ethan's own sake, he better not, because Taylor would flatten him like a pancake. _Perhaps I'll ask him to lunch this weekend..._

"Miss Steele?"

I am pulled from my thoughts and look up to find a young man holding a flower arrangement.

"Yes?"

"These are for you."

"Oh, thank you." I stand and take the arrangement, placing it on my desk before I sign for it.

"Have a nice day, Miss Steele."

"You, too." I tell him, looking down at my arrangement. The bottom is a box with hearts and the flower arrangement is purple and pink with a bit of baby's breath. In the center is a teddy bear, made up of white flowers and even has a little pink bow on it's ear. It's darling. I can't help the large grin on my face as I read the card.

 ** _Congratulations, Mommy._**

 ** _Love,_**

 ** _C._**

I place the card back in the arrangement and gaze at it again. _Hearts and flowers._ A part of me knows that he's just trying to get on my good side, but I decide not to dwell on it too much. I'm not going to cave and forget what he said to me just because he sent me a flower arrangement.

I decide to pull out my phone and take a picture of the sweet arrangement, so that I can send it to Christian.

 _*Thank you, Christian. The arrangement is adorable.*_

I get a reply almost instantly and when I hear my phone vibrate, I roll my eyes. _It's like he was waiting for my text._

 _*You're very welcome, Anastasia.*_

I put my phone away and continue on working on this manuscript for my boss, Elizabeth Morgan, the fiction editor. I'm so engrossed in it that I don't even hear Hannah, another personal assistant with the company, come up beside me.

" _'Congratulations, Mommy.'_ "

She startles me so much that I almost fall out of my chair. She either failed to notice or failed to care, cause she continues talking.

" _Mommy_...are you pregnant?"

 _Crap._ Now I wish I hadn't left that card. I'm definitely not ready for everyone to know, yet.

"Uh...well, I haven't gone to the doctor, yet, or anything..."

She smiles at me. "That's great, Ana! I didn't even know you were in a relationship!"

 _I'm not._ "Uh...yea...well, we kind of like to keep our private life private." I state, hoping she takes the hint. _Plus, I don't want anyone to know who I'm dating...WAS. Was, Steele._ It isn't as if I'm ashamed of who I was dating, it's just that with his financial and social status...I don't want to be treated differently or rumors to start.

She gives me an odd nod, like she thinks I'm lying. It's really none of her business.

"What's his name?"

 _Keep calm, Steele. You're at work. This is a coworker. Keep it professional._ What I'd really like to do is tell her it's none of her god-damned business, but I humor her.

"His name is Christian."

"Oh. Do you have any pictures of him?"

 _What the hell?_ "I'm sorry, Hannah, but I'm kind of behind for the day and I really need to get this manuscript read."

"Oh...yes, of course, Ana. I'm sorry for prying. Congratulations by the way."

I tell her that it's alright, even though it really isn't, and thank her. I guess I should speak to Christian about how he wants the news to go out. With him constantly being in the news and in the rag-mags, I'm not sure if there's a certain way he's going to want to deal with this...or if he even wants it getting out at all. The thought makes me sick to my stomach. I don't want to go through my pregnancy, keeping the baby's father's identity a secret. I don't know if I can allow him to be in my life or my child's if he is going to try to hide it. _Hopefully, he makes the right choice._

I bury myself in work, trying to forget the twist in my stomach at the thought of this whole mess. My stomach suddenly growls and I realize that it's almost lunch time. A salad sounds really good, so I decide that a walk down the street to the deli would be a good idea. It's cloudy, but not raining and it'll be nice to get out of the office. I pull my handbag out of the bottom drawer of my desk and stand, only to come face-to-face with Taylor.

"Taylor? What are you doing here?"

He holds up a bag from the deli down the street. "Hello, Miss Steele. Mr. Grey requested that I grab you some lunch. Salad okay?"

My stomach growls again and I place my hand on my stomach as it does. I see Taylor's lips curl into a grin. "I take it that's a yes?"

I smile up at him. "Yes, that's perfect, Taylor. Thank you. I was just about to go get myself one."

"You're welcome, Miss Steele. Enjoy your day." He places the bag on my desk and makes his way out before I can even say goodbye.

"You, too, Taylor!" I call and I can see him subtly nod on his way out.

When I sit back down at my desk to eat, I suddenly become a little annoyed. _He is so controlling._ I pull out the salad and on top of the clear container is a sticky note that reads 'Eat.' I scowl at the note, but it turns into a smile because it reminds me of the morning he sent groceries to my apartment. _At least he's thinking of me._ I guess it is kind of sweet...plus, it saves me time and energy to do it myself.

I open the container and see that the salad has sundried cranberries, tangerines, walnuts, and grilled chicken in a raspberry vinaigrette dressing. My stomach growls once again and I dig in, moaning in appreciation at the first bite. I should probably send him a text, thanking him, but I'm too busy shoveling it in to care at the moment.

The rest of the day goes smoothly and when I go home, I pick up my apartment, make dinner, and enjoy it in front of the tv before taking a bath and climbing into bed. I'm half-asleep when my phone goes off.

 _*Goodnight, Anastasia. Tell baby Grey goodnight, too. Love you both.*_

 _Baby Grey. Ugh._ I still don't want to think about that whole issue, yet, either.

 _*Goodnight, Christian. Sleep well.*_

I place my phone on my nightstand and try to fall asleep, but his text is nagging me. _This is ridiculous. The baby can't even hear._

I know I won't get any sleep until I do it, so I roll onto my back and pull up my shirt to look at my stomach. My hand runs over my still flat stomach and I wonder how big I'm actually going to get. I've heard women complain that they waddle in the last trimester. _Oh, God. Please don't let that be true!_

Even though I'm by myself, I still feel completely ridiculous, so I hurry to say goodnight. "Goodnight, baby. Er...Daddysaysgoodnighttoo." It rushes out of my mouth quickly and I pull my shirt back down and curl back up on my side. _There. I did it._ Now, I don't have to lie if he asks if I did.

XxXxXx

It's Tuesday and I'm just sitting down with my tea when I'm greeted by the same man from yesterday.

"Hello."

"Hello, Miss Steele. This is for you."

It's a white box with a big gray bow on top. _Oh, brother._

I stand to take it from him and give him an embarrassed smile. "I'm sorry you had to come again."

He gives me a genuine smile. "I don't mind, Miss. It's my job after all."

 _That is true._ Hopefully, Christian is paying him well. After he disappears, I pull the card out of the small envelope connected to the bow and read it.

 ** _Thank you for carrying something so precious._**

 ** _I never thought I wanted or deserved my own family,_**

 ** _but you two are now my world._**

 ** _I promise to be the best man I can be for both of you._**

 ** _Thank you for creating a family with me._**

 ** _Love,_**

 ** _C._**

I lift the lid off the box and peer in. There are three gray bears, all different sizes, sitting in front of each other; largest in the back, smallest in front. I pull them out and place them on my desk and look at them for a moment. _Is this supposed to be us? Our family?_

 _Woah._

It suddenly hits me that I'm going to have a family with Christian.

I reach out and take the largest bear, looking it over. It's got gray fur, a blue nose and little black eyes. The fur is extremely soft and I find myself petting its head before placing it on my desk. I take the medium sized bear and set it next to the larger one, and finally, I place the little bear between them. _The three gray bears...e_ _xcept I'm not a Grey._

"Hmph." I chew my lip while I stare at them.

 _The three Steele-Grey bears._

I grin. _Much better._

I pull out my phone and take a picture of the three bears to send to Christian.

 _*The Three Steele-Grey Bears. I love them. Thank you.*_

 _*You're welcome, Ana. Love the name. Baby bear will too.*_

 _Baby bear..._ much better than Baby Grey

At lunchtime, Taylor makes another appearance, but I expected him to come today. He brings me a carved turkey sandwich and a small fruit salad for lunch. The poor man runs himself ragged for Christian already, and now he's stuck feeding the girl his boss knocked up, too. I feel terribly guilty and decide to text Christian about it tonight.

As I'm going to bed, my phone goes off and, as I suspected, it's Christian.

 _*Goodnight, Momma Bear. Tell Baby Bear goodnight from Papa Bear.*_

I giggle and shake my head. _Christian's ridiculous._

 _*Goodnight, Christian. BTW, you won't need to send Taylor for lunch tomorrow. I've packed my lunch.*_

 _*What'd you pack?*_

I scowl at the phone. _The jerk doesn't trust me!_ A part of me wants to tell him potato chips and twizzlers, but I'm worried he'll send Taylor anyway if I do that. I decide to take a different approach.

 _*Goodnight, Christian.*_

I turn my phone on silent so I don't have to listen to it if he decides to throw a fit and say goodnight to my stomach before drifting off.

XxXxXx

I sit down at my desk with my tea on Wednesday and, instead of seeing the young man again, I see Taylor.

 _Damn it, Christian!_

"Good morning, Miss Steele."

I give him an apologetic smile. "Good morning, Taylor. I'm sorry you're stuck doing this."

He grins. "I don't mind, Miss Steele. This is for you."

It's another white box with a gray bow, but this time, the box is long and flat. I'm instantly curious.

"Thank you, Taylor." I state, pulling the card out quickly to read.

 ** _When I was going through the hardest part of my life, this was my only comfort._**

 ** _I hope that it brings the same comfort to you and baby bear during the hard parts..._**

 ** _And I hope that you'll come to me for comfort during some of them, too._**

 ** _Love,_**

 ** _C._**

I swallow back tears at the thoughtful note and eagerly pull off the box top. Inside, buried in white tissue paper, is an old, worn, blue blanket. I reach in and pull it out and see that it's a baby blanket. It's soft to the touch and I find myself rubbing the corner of it over my cheek. The visual of a starved little boy with iron gray eyes and messy copper hair holding this blanket comes to mind and I can't hold my tears back anymore. I quickly grab a tissue and collect myself as fast as I can before others take notice. When I've calmed down, I pull out my phone to thank Christian for yet another beautiful gift.

 _*Thank you, Christian. I've never received such a precious gift. I can't even put into words how touched I am that you're willing to give this to me...to our baby. Are you sure you want to part with something so special?*_

 _*I am sure. I am so relieved that you like it. I just want both of you to feel safe and think of me when I'm not there.*_

At this point, I'm finding it really hard not to just beg him to come to my apartment tonight so that we can make up and live happily ever after...but I know nothing works like that. I need to be strong and hold my ground. Taking it slow and making sure that I don't get hurt again is paramount.

Before I can even think about getting lunch, Taylor shows up again with a chicken Caesar wrap and house chips.

"Mr. Grey was worried that you just said you packed your lunch because you didn't want to inconvenience anyone."

My eyebrows knit together and I give him a guilty look. _Busted._ I had every intention on going to get my own lunch today.

Taylor's eyebrow raises, but he looks amused. "Miss Steele...I assure you that it is no inconvenience. It puts Mr. Grey at ease and makes my job easier."

I giggle at his admission. I can't imagine how it must be like having to work for such a demanding man.

"Well, I'm glad I could help." I tease.

He gives me a wink and says his goodbyes so I can dig into my lunch.

XxXxXx

The next morning I wake with a stomach ache and barely make it to the toilet before my stomach lurches and my dinner from the night before makes another appearance. I was dreading this part of pregnancy and I almost thought that I was lucky enough to dodge it. Unfortunately, I'm never that lucky.

It takes me longer to get ready than normal with my queasy stomach and I barely make it to work on time. I make it to my desk at 8:00 am on the dot, but don't even have time to put my handbag up before I'm running for the toilet.

 _This bites._

When I make my way back to my desk, I see that the young man from the beginning of the week is back and he has something giant in his arms. _Oh, god!_

As I make my way closer, I see that it's a teddy bear made of balloons holding balloons in one hand and a balloon pacifier in the other while he sits on even more balloons. _What. The. Fuck._

"Miss Steele, this is for you."

My face burns crimson as he places it on the floor by my desk. I am absolutely humiliated by the mass of balloons next to me.

"I'll need you to sign."

My eyebrows shoot up. "I don't think I want to!"

He gives me an amused look and hands me the clipboard. I scribble my signature and shove the clipboard back at him.

"Thanks a lot."

He laughs. "Enjoy!"

I scowl at his retreating form and take a seat at my desk. _I will NOT be sending Christian a thank you text today._

 _What the hell am I going to do with this abomination?_

If my stomach felt better, I might have just called Christian up and gave him a piece of my mind. Unfortunately, it does hurt and I decide to take a second and lay my head down on my arms for a second.

Around 10:00 am, my phone vibrates and I see it's from Christian.

 _How's baby bear doing this morning?*_

Even though I'm annoyed with the obnoxious balloon display that he sent, I can't help but feel touched that he texted. We're obviously on his mind more than I think.

 _*Baby is fine, but Momma bear is a bit queasy this morning.*_

I wait for a text back, but after a minute of not getting one, I put my phone away and get back to work. _He's probably in a meeting._

Ten minutes later, I start to hear whispering and commotion around me and I look up to see my coworkers running back and forth throughout the room, speaking in low voices. _How odd._

Suddenly, I see the source of their gossip, and he's headed straight for me with a plastic bag in his hand.

My heart skips a beat and then races at the sight of him. _I hate that he can affect me even when he's thirty feet away._

I sit in my chair, mouth agape, while I watch him make his way to me. _Why is he here?_

When he's a few steps away, I remember that I have legs and I stand to greet him.

"Christian...what are you doing here?"

He smiles at me and leans in to kiss me on the cheek.

"What? No hello? No happy to see you?"

I crack a smile. "Hello, Christian. It's so nice to see you! Now...tell me why you're here."

He cocks an eyebrow at me and takes a seat in the chair opposite of me. "So demanding."

My mouth drops open a little. "I'm demanding?" My voice comes out an octave higher and is accusing. "Talk about the pot calling the kettle black!"

He ignores me and his eyes drift to the balloon. "Nice balloon."

I scowl at him. "Don't even start, Grey."

A cheeky grin forms on his face and he leans towards my desk to pull out whatever he has hiding in the bag. I watch him pull out ginger ale, saltine crackers, almonds, and a lemon. _A lemon?_

My eyes drift up to his face so that he'll explain himself.

"You said you were queasy. It's sort of my fault and so, I wanted to make you feel better."

"What's with the lemon?" _There is no way I'm eating that._

"You smell it."

My eyebrows knit together. "I what?"

He chuckles as he opens the ginger ale. "You smell it. It's proven that smelling a lemon or putting it in your tea will ease an upset stomach."

"Really?" _How odd._

"Really." He gives me a serious look. "Now, drink up and try to eat a few crackers and almonds."

I look at the food he's put in front of me and none of it looks good.

"Go on, Anastasia."

 _Of course, he's going to watch me eat it._

I slowly take the ginger ale first and take a small drink before taking a cracker and nibbling on it.

"Good girl. Now, when is your doctor's appointment?"

My eyebrows raise. "Doctor's appointment?" _Crap._

His eyes narrow. "You haven't made an appointment, yet?!"

"Sh! Calm down. I just...forgot."

"You just...forgot? How do you just forget? Did you just forget you were pregnant?"

I frown and look at the table. I feel guilty and embarrassed about being chastised.

"I'll make an appointment for us tomorrow." He states and my head jerks up to look at him.

"But, I don't even have an OB doctor. I won't be able to get one by tomorrow." _He's being ridiculous._

"Just leave it to me, Anastasia. I'll let you know what time our appointment is."

I'm so shocked that he's taken control of the situation, that I just nod in agreement while I continue to nibble on my cracker. _I guess being Christian Grey has quite a few perks..._

"How are you feeling, Anastasia?"

I look down at my stomach and register how it feels. "Better." I decide. "Thank you."

He gives me a soft smile. "I'm going to take care of you, Ana. It's what I want to do."

My heart swells at his comment. He has been so incredible this week. _He's going to make a great father._

After he kisses my nose and tells me goodbye, I notice everyone staring at me as he walks away. _Oh, no._ I'm sure they've realized that the most powerful man in Seattle is fathering my baby and the gossip will continue. I decide to drag my attention off the others in the office and dive back ito my work while I continue to nibble.

As I lay in bed Thursday night, I find myself eagerly waiting for Christian's text. I don't have to wait long.

 _*Goodnight, Ana. Goodnight, baby bear.*_

Attached is an audio file and click on it. I expect to hear Christian's voice, but instead, a song starts to play. The intro is soft and slow and brings a smile to my face. I send Christian a quick text goodnight and close my eyes as I listen, drifting off to sleep.

 _Did I drive you away_

 _I know what you'll say_

 _You say, oh, sing one we know_

 _But I promise you this_

 _I'll always look out for you_

 _That's what I'll do_

 _I say oh_

 _I say oh_

 _My heart is yours_

 _It's you that I hold on to_

 _That's what I do_

 _And I know I was wrong_

 _But I won't let you down_

 _(Oh yeah, yeah, yes I will)_

 _I say oh_

 _I cry oh_

 _And I saw sparks_

 _Yeah I saw sparks_

 _And I saw sparks_

 _Yeah I saw sparks_

 _Sing it out_

 _La, la, la, la, oh_

 _La, la, la, la, oh_

 _La, la, la, la, oh_

 _La, la, la, la, oh_

 **A/N: The song is called 'Sparks' by Coldplay and you can hear it by going to our Pinterest Board.**


	9. Chapter 9

***Anastasia's POV***

I'm just slipping into my black pants and black and white polka-dotted shirt when I hear my phone ring. Grabbing it, I see that it's Christian.

"Hello?"

"Good morning, Anastasia."

"Good morning." I reply automatically while I slip on my black heels.

"I've gotten ahold of the doctor. We've got a doctor's appointment today at two."

I frown. _Why couldn't he make it later?_

"I don't know if I'll be able to leave that early on such short notice, Christian."

"I'm sure it'll be fine, Ana. Just talk to Elizabeth."

"Alright...wait...how do you know her name?" _I don't remember ever mentioning it._

"You've mentioned it in passing."

"Have I?"

"Mmhmm...listen, Ana. Just talk to her this morning and shoot me a text when you find out."

I finish getting ready with a nervous stomach. I haven't been with the company long and it feels wrong asking to leave early on such short notice.

When I make it to work, I drop my handbag at my desk and head towards Elizabeth's office. The door is open, so I knock on the doorframe, getting her attention.

"Good morning, Elizabeth."

"Good morning, Ana. What can I do for you?"

I enter and have a seat across from her desk. "I was wondering if it was possible to leave a little after one today? I'll work through lunch. I've got a doctor's appointment."

Her eyes flick down to my stomach and she sits back in her chair. "Yes, I heard about that. Well...it isn't as if I could tell you no."

My eyebrows knit together. "What do you mean?"

She smiles. "Word's gotten out who the father is, Ana."

"What?" _Is this really happening?_

She rolls her eyes. "It wasn't hard for everyone to figure out when he came bursting through the door to see you yesterday."

"Why would the identity of my baby's father have anything to do with this?"

She shakes her head and I can see her jaw muscle ticking. _She's annoyed._

"Listen, if it's a problem, I understand. I can call Christian and cancel-"

"No, no need, Ana. If you work through lunch, leaving at one should be fine." She looks down at her work and I know my times up.

I give an uncertain nod. "...Okay. Um, thank you."

I stand and make my way towards the door, only to hear her murmur, "Must be nice sealing your future by fucking a billionaire."

My legs stop, but only for a second, before I continue out of her office. My blood is boiling. _She doesn't know anything about me._

 _Is this what everyone is going to think?_

I make a bee line to the bathroom and hide in one of the stalls while I try to calm down. I'm so frustrated and upset with the situation, that tears start to fall.

Elizabeth has always been so friendly before. I don't understand why something like this would cause her to turn on me. She never seemed like the type that would be jealous. If she can act like this, I'm worried how the others will react. This job is going to be miserable if everyone is going to act the same way Elizabeth did.

 ***Christian's POV***

I'm sitting in a meeting with Ros and the coffee company from Portland we're thinking about buying when my phone vibrates on my counter. I look up to make sure they're still engrossed in the presentation before I look at my phone. _It's Ana._

 _*Appointment is a go.*_

I grin. _*I'll pick you up at 1:15.*_

 _*I can just meet you there. Just text me the address.*_

My eyes narrow. _*I will pick you up.*_

 _*Christian...don't be difficult.*_

 _Difficult?_ She thinks _I'm_ being difficult?

 _*I want to be sure you and our baby make it safe and sound, Miss Steele. I'm driving. End of discussion.*_

 _*I am more than capable of getting us there safely, Christian.*_

 _*It's baby related.*_ I remind her. She said I could be as involved as I want and if I want to drive my girl and my baby to the baby appointment, then that's what I'll do.

 _*Fine.*_

I smile at her response. She actually folded faster than I thought she would.

XxXxXx

"Andrea, I'm heading out. I'll be unavailable until about three or so. If there's an issue, call Ros." _I'm not going to allow anyone to interrupt this appointment._

"Yes, sir. Enjoy your day."

I make my way out to my R8. I drove separately today, not wanting Taylor to come. I want to experience this with only Ana.

I pull outside of SIP at ten after one and park in the ten minute parking before making my way in.

The receptionist, Vanessa, pops out of her seat to greet me as soon as I'm in the door.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Grey. Is there anything I can get you?"

I wave her off. "No, Vanessa. I'll be leaving shortly."

I make my way back towards Anastasia's desk and I see her looking down at some paperwork while she chews her bottom lip. There's a 'v' etched on her forehead and I'm not close enough to tell if she's concentrating or upset about something. _I hope she isn't feeling sick._

I ignore all the eyes on me and stop in front of her desk. She hasn't even noticed me, yet.

"Ana?"

Her head snaps up with a gasp. "Oh, hi, Christian. I must have lost track of time."

"How are you feeling?" I scan her over. Something doesn't feel right.

"I'm fine." She shrugs.

 _Bullshit._ I have a seat across from her and take her hand in both of mine. "Tell me what's happened."

Her eyes scan the room before they return to my face. "I don't want to talk about it here."

 _Fair enough._ If she's going to tell me, I won't press her for answers now. She'll tell me soon enough.

"Come on, then. Let's head to the car."

She stands and I see that in her other hand she has my old, blue blanket. My heart seems to swell and plummet at the same time. _There's definitely a reason she's upset._

"Oh, Ana..." I reach over and slide the edge of the blanket through my fingers, taking comfort in the familiar fabric myself. "Let's get out of here."

She steps out from behind her desk and I put an arm around her, resting my hand on her opposite hip so I can escort her out. She doesn't fight me on it, but I don't know if it's because she's actually enjoying the closeness or if she just doesn't want to cause a scene in front of everyone else. It feels like it's been so long since I've been this close to her. The smell of her is overpowering my senses and all I want to do is attack her right now. Unfortunately, I can't. I've got to take this slow. I'm determined not to screw it up this time.

I open Anastasia's car door and let her slide in, before closing it for her. I make my way quickly around the car and slip into my seat, eager to hear why she's upset and hoping I can make it better.

The blanket is still folded in her lap while she plays with the corner. She's quiet as I pull out onto the street, but I'm determined to get it out of her.

"Tell me what happened, Ana."

"I went into Elizabeth's office to ask for the afternoon off and she behaved so strangely...and then she mumbled something on the way out, but I pretended not to hear her."

"What'd she say?"

"When I asked, she said it wasn't as if she could say no and I asked her what she meant by that. She said that word had gotten out on the identity of the father since you came by yesterday and when I asked what the identity of the baby's father had anything to do with it and she refused to say anything. Instead she just sat there and gritted her teeth like she was angry. I told her it wasn't a problem to cancel, but she told me that it was fine...and then on the way out..." Her voice fades and she sighs.

 _That bitch needs put in her place._ She can't speak like that to Anastasia. For one, it's against HR policy to treat her differently because of the pregnancy and two, Elizabeth is suppose to be her supervisor. She shouldn't be speaking to her employees like that.

"Tell me what she mumbled."

"She mumbled something about how nice it must be that I'm securing my future by fucking a billionaire."

My foot hits the brake and we lurch forward a bit.

"Christian!"

"She said that? She fucking said that? She's gone. I won't have that, Anastasia. I won't allow anyone to speak to you like that." _I'll ruin the bitch._

"Christian...please calm down." She reaches over and squeezes my bicep, the gesture automatically calming me.

"I'm sorry. Don't worry, Anastasia. I'll take care of it."

"No! Please don't get involved with my career, Christian. It's more than just Elizabeth."

I grit my teeth. "There were others?"

She shakes her head quickly. "No. No others. I just worry, that if she feels that way, that everyone is going to feel that way. It was one of the first things that came out of your mouth when you found out and then one of hers."

My gut twists guiltily. "I do not feel that way, Anastasia. I know you would never do that. I was wrong to say it and I didn't mean it. Anyone who thinks that way about you or says anything to you shouldn't matter enough for you to care. It means they don't know you and they don't deserve to know you. If anyone else says anything or treats you differently, I need you to tell me."

"Okay." Her voice is soft while she stares at her window. I know she doesn't want to talk about it anymore, so I'll let it go. I want this appointment to be a positive one.

XxXxXx

"I'll need you to get undressed and put this gown on, the opening towards the front. There's a sheet on the table that you can cover up with." The medical assistant explains.

Anastasia nods. "Thank you."

The medical assistant closes the door behind her as she makes her way out and Anastasia looks at me sheepishly.

"Would you mind turning around?"

My eyes almost pop out of my head. "You've got to be kidding! I know what you look like, Ana."

Her cheeks color. "I know...but, I'd just be more comfortable if you'd..." She trails off and points towards the opposite side of the room.

I let out a sigh. "Fine."

I turn and allow her to get herself undressed. Soon, I hear the shuffle of paper and she announces she's finished. When I turn back around, I see that she's sitting on the exam table, covered by the sheet.

I pull the chair from across the room closer to the table and have a seat while we wait for the doctor.

"Ana?"

"Yes?"

"I know you want to co-parent, but do you think that we could ever-"

"Knock, knock!" The doctor sticks her head in and sees that Anastasia is ready, so she slips in. "I'm Dr. Greene."

The doctor sticks her hand out and Anastasia shakes it. "Nice to meet you. I'm Ana."

I stand and offer Dr. Greene my hand. "Christian."

"Nice to meet both of you. I'll go ahead and do the examination first and then we'll do the transvaginal ultrasound. When we're finished, I'll go over a few things with both of you and answer any questions you might have. Does that sound alright?"

Ana nods. "Yes."

"Great. Go ahead and lie back, Ana."

XxXxXx

She just finished with Ana's examination and, after a small panic attack I had when I saw that her nipples were a darker color, everything is looking good.

"Go ahead and slide down the table and put your feet in the stirrups." Dr. Greene explains while she slips on some gloves and dims the lights. Ana slides down and I rearrange her pillow so that its under her head and comfortable for her. The doctor sits in the rolling stool at Ana's feet and picks up what I could only describe as a wand... _or small dildo_... placing some clear gel on it, before it disappears under the sheet.

"I'm going to insert it now. Try to stay relaxed."

Ana nods and her eyebrows knit together. Dr. Greene doesn't notice, however, because her eyes are fixed on the screen. All I can see it white and black static. The picture movies and I can see a black oblong circle in the middle with something white in the middle.

"Here we go. This," she points to the blob in the middle of the black space, "is your baby."

 _Holy. Fuck._

"That-that's our baby?" Anastasia asks.

"Yep. It looks like you're measuring on schedule...almost 7 weeks along."

"Oh, wow. Christian...do you see this?" She asks, not bothering to look away from the screen.

I grin. "Yes, baby. I see it." _Incredible._ It doesn't look like a human...more like a peanut. _It's hard to believe that I can be so in love with a peanut._ My grin widens at the thought.

Her hand wanders up to search for mine while she watches and I take it in both of mine, kissing the back of it while we both stare at the screen.

"You see this flicker...that's its heartbeat. Let's listen."

She hits a button and turns a knob and suddenly there's a wooshing sound.

"Christian..." Anastasia whispers, looking up at me with tears in her eyes.

"That's our baby." I tell her, kissing her forehead. The sound of our baby's heartbeat is music to my ears.

"Thank you, Ana." I sniffle, and Ana reaches up with her free hand to wipe the tear off my cheek. Her hand rests along my jaw line and her eyes are intense and full of conviction. _Such a change from last weekend._

"I want to be with you, Ana. I want us to be a family. Please forgive me." I whisper, running my nose down the length of hers.

Her thumb rubs against the stubble along my jawline and she smiles up at me.

"It looks like your due date is going to be the twelfth of February." Dr. Greene's voice interrupts us for a second time.

Anastasia beams at me. "Maybe we'll have a valentine baby."

"That'd be one hell of a valentine."

XxXxXx

"Come to dinner with me." I urge, as I pull out of the parking space. She looks up from the ultrasound picture she's smiling at and blinks at me.

"I...I don't know." She's still conflicted, but I'm determined to change her mind.

"Please, Ana. It'll be strictly platonic. I want to feed you and talk about everything baby related. We have a lot to talk about."

She chews her bottom lip and mulls it over for a minute. "...okay. But nowhere fancy."

I grin. "IHOP it is."

"Mmm, IHOP sounds wonderful." She rubs her stomach in a circular pattern to emphasize her point. "I love their pancakes and blueberry syrup."

"Breakfast for dinner...I haven't done that since I was a kid. Maybe I'll join you."

She smiles over at me, but it fades.

"Christian?"

"Yes, Ana."

"I wanted to know...well...people are starting to find out about the baby and that you're the baby's father...I was just wondering...how do you feel about that?"

 _What the fuck does that supposed to mean?_ "What do you mean, Anastasia?"

"Well...I didn't know if...you'd want it getting out that you're having a child with a woman you've only known for a few months. Are you worried about your reputation? Is it going to negatively affect your business ventures?"

I can feel my anger rising. "I don't give a fuck about what anyone else thinks, Anastasia. I am the baby's father and I love both of you. It's no ones business how long we've known each other, and if a child out of wedlock is going to keep some bastard from doing business with me, then they can fuck off."

Looking over at her, she looks relieved. _Did she really think I'd try to keep this a secret?_

"You were honestly worried?"

She shrugs. "A little. I was worried you'd be ashamed of our baby."

"I know I reacted poorly on Saturday, but I would have thought this week would have showed you that I'm both excited and proud to be a father. I am not ashamed of either of you. The only thing I'm ashamed of is my initial reaction."

A long sigh escapes her mouth. "You're right. I'm sorry, Christian. You're putting extreme effort into showing me you want to be part of the baby's life and I appreciate it. Our baby needs both of us."

"Apology accepted, Miss Steele."

I pull into the parking lot of IHOP and see that it's pretty empty. It's only half passed three, so it's still early. It might be a good thing that it's quiet. We'll have some privacy.

I meet Anastasia on her side of the car and escort her into the restaurant by the small of her back. We're seated in a booth in the corner and I allow Ana to slide in before I sit across from her.

"So what are you going to get?" I ask, looking over my menu.

"I'm going to get pancakes and hashbrowns."

I look up at her and cock an eyebrow. "You need protein, Anastasia."

She rolls her eyes. "I'll be fine."

"What'd you have for lunch?"

"I...um..."

"Anastasia...please tell me you ate."

"Elizabeth requested that I work through lunch since I was leaving early, but I did have a pear on break."

I sit back in my booth and clench my jaw. "You mean to tell me that your supervisor forced you to go all day without food, being fully aware of your condition?" _Elizabeth isn't going to know what fucking hit her. Jealousy is one thing, but forcing my girl and my baby to go hungry is too far._

"She didn't _force_ me to do anything, Christian...and it's not a condition!"

I see the waitress is on her way over, so I hold my tongue.

"Are you two ready to order?"

I give her a nod. "She'll have a stack of pancakes with a side of hashbrowns and eggs, scrambled, well cooked. I'll have the breakfast sampler with my eggs scrambled as well, bacon extra crispy."

"And drinks?"

"We'll both have a milk and an orange juice."

"Make mine a chocolate milk." Anastasia states quickly.

I give her a hard look and she gives an overly sweet smile while she hands the waitress her menu.

"It'll be out shortly."

Her eyes leave mine and she looks up at the waitress. "Thank you."

When the waitress leaves, she turns on me. "I could have ordered for myself, Christian. I didn't want eggs."

"Anastasia...you need your protein. You heard Dr. Greene. It is imperative that you get your nutrients the first trimester, when the baby is the most fragile!"

She throws both of her hands up. "Fine. I don't want to fight about this. I should be use to your controlling behavior by now."

A smile forms on my face at her cheeky comment.

"So, I think we should tell our parents relatively soon, before it gets out and they hear it from someone else."

 _Well, she's just going to jump right into it, isn't she?_

I give her a nod. "This weekend."

"I'll have to tell my mother over the phone, but I really feel like I should tell my dad face-to-face. I think I'll drive to Montesano in the morning and spend the day with him."

I frown. "Shouldn't we tell him together?"

"Oh...um...do you want to come, then?"

"I would like to, yes, but we aren't going to drive. We'll take Charlie Tango." _Her being on the road for three hours is not safe._

"Charlie Tango?"

"My helicopter."

Her eyes widen in surprise, but she waits until our waitress drops our drinks off before answering.

"I've never been in a helicopter before."

"Well, I've never had a girl in my helicopter before."

She giggles and the sound makes me light up. _I miss carefree Anastasia._

"So, I guess we'll tell your parents on Sunday?"

I nod. _What a Sunday dinner that will be._

"What are you going to do about your apartment, Anastasia?" _Move in with me._

"What do you mean?"

"Well, it's far too small for you and the baby."

She takes a sip of her orange juice and I watch her tongue come out to swipe at her lower lip. _God, I want that mouth._

"I suppose you're right. I guess I'll start looking on Monday."

"Or you could move in with me. The apartment is big enough."

She shakes her head. "Um...no, I don't think that's a good idea."

 _Why the fuck not?_ "Why? We're having a baby together and the baby needs both of us."

"But, it'd be awkward. What if you find a new...lady friend...and choose to bring her back?"

I snort into my milk and wipe my mouth with my napkin. "Lady friend, Anastasia?"

"And while we're on the subject...I think it's imperative that we have a dating rule."

We're interrupted by the waitress and she takes far too long putting our food down. I'm about to snap at her about leaving us the fuck alone, but another customer comes in the door and she scurries off.

"A dating rule." I repeat, eager to know what the fuck she's talking about.

She nods. "Yes. Say...if one of us starts dating, there should be a three date rule before they're allowed access to the baby...and I think it'd be best if the other meets the person before the baby does."

 _I'm floored._ My mouth is hanging open in shock and I close it quickly. "Why...why would we date other people?"

"We're not both going to be single for the rest of our lives, Christian."

"But, I love you and I love the baby. I don't want anyone else." _She doesn't want me._

"No one said this was going to happen, Christian. I just want to put down boundaries in case it ever does."

I stab at my eggs. "Fine."

"Listen...I appreciate the offer, Christian...but I want my own apartment." She knows I'm pissed.

"At least let me help you look."

She regards me for a second.

"You have to look because of the baby, so technically, it's baby related. Let me help."

Her eyes narrow. "You know you can't use that as your excuse to get everything you want."

I give her my best pantie-dropper smile. "Come on, Ana. It'll be fun."

She shrugs. "Fine. I guess it wouldn't hurt."

 ***Ana's POV***

The doctor's appointment went better than I could have ever expected. It's so much more real now that we've seen the baby and heard its heartbeat. I'm honestly glad that Christian came with me and that we got to enjoy that special moment together. Dinner was kind of rocky, but we managed it without any screaming matches. I'm looking forward to seeing my father tomorrow, but I'm not looking forward to having to break the news to him. I'll give him a call when I get home so that he's aware I'll be in town.

"Christian...work is the other way." We've just pulled out of the parking lot and he's driving in the opposite direction of my car.

"I'm going to take you home."

"But, I need my car."

"It's already taken care of, Anastasia."

 _How?_ "But, I have the keys."

He looks over at me and grins. I give him a scowl back, annoyed that he had his minions move my car without asking.

"I wasn't aware that hot-wiring was a military requirement."

He chuckles. "More like an elective."

I giggle. It's hard to imagine Taylor stealing cars.

It's a quick drive to my apartment and he parks in the space next to my Pontiac.

"Well, it might have been hot-wired, but at least it wasn't stripped."

Christian rolls his eyes. "That's about all it's good for. Maybe I should've had Taylor take the death trap to the scrap yard."

"Hey! Don't hate on my car! It's much more than a heap of metal. I love my G6."

"Whatever you say, Miss Steele." He opens his door and proceeds to get out. _Why?_

"Hey!" I do the same, grabbing my handbag, and hurry to catch up with him. "What are you doing?"

"I'm walking you to your door, Miss Steele."

"I can do it myself. This isn't a date, Christian."

"Well, I'm still a gentleman and I would like to say goodnight to my baby."

 _Again with the baby stuff._ He's using it to his advantage and it's irritating. "You can come to my door, but you won't come in."

We step into the elevator and he hits the button. "Who says I wanted to?"

I roll my eyes. "Just make it quick, Grey."

The doors open and he follows me to my door and waits patiently with his hands in his pockets while I unlock the door. It opens and I turn towards him, just in time to see him kneel.

"I thought you were joking! Out here?" I look up and down the hall, my cheeks reddening with embarrassment.

"No one is going to keep me from you or my baby...and that includes you." He raises my shirt and kisses my stomach.

"Hi, baby. It's Daddy. I loved seeing you today. If you were listening while your mommy and I were talking, I want you to know that you don't have to worry about any of it. I will never want anyone, but Mommy and I won't let another man marry your mommy or make you call him Daddy. I will always be your daddy and Mommy will always be your mommy. I love you, baby bear."

The way that he is speaking to the baby and the words he is speaking are making me emotional. I'm doing my best to hold back my tears by continuously swallowing, but when he kisses my stomach again, a few leak out and I hurry to wipe them away before he notices. He stands and brushes off his knees.

"Are you okay?" _Why do I have to be so terrible at hiding my feelings?_

"I'm fine. It's just been a long day."

He reaches up with his thumb and wipes a tear I've missed. "Do you want me to stay? I can comfort you."

I give him a genuine smile and sniffle. "No, I'm alright. I'll see you tomorrow."

"You're sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. Thank you."

He wraps his arms around me and mine find their way around his waist while my face finds his neck and I breathe in deeply. _I've missed his smell._ Hell, I've missed his warmth and his touch. _I miss him._

He pulls away and cups my cheek, caressing it with his thumb. "Tomorrow."

I nod.

"Goodnight, Anastasia." He leans in and gives me a kiss on my forehead before turning to leave.

"Goodnight, Christian." I call to him as he makes his way down the hall. I shut and lock my door behind me, leaning up against it.

 _What the hell am I going to do?_

 **Up Next: The families find out.**


	10. Chapter 10

**We want to thank all of you for being so patient while life took us away from writing for awhile. I edited this while I was exhausted, so I hope there isn't too many mistakes! Sanjana and I hope that you enjoy this chapter, because it took awhile to get it cranked out!**

 **Cheers!**

 **Stephie and Sanjana**

 ***Anastasia's POV***

Christian and I are in his helicopter on our way to Montesano to see my father. I have to admit that when I found out Christian was flying it himself, I got a bit of anxiety, but I know he would never put us in danger. Once we lifted and started moving, it was actually quite exhilarating. Seattle was so beautiful from the sky. I'm looking forward to seeing it lit up tonight when we return.

I called and told my dad that I was bringing Christian to meet him today. He thinks we're a couple and I didn't correct him. He doesn't need to know the complicated details of the mess we're in. Besides, it's just a label...and, although I don't really want to admit it, the way he's been acting the last week has me quickly crumbling. I refuse to make a decision either way until we've told both of our parents about the baby.

To be honest, I don't know how my father is going to take the news. I have never really disappointed him before; I've always been careful not to. I'm so worried he'll be disappointed in me. I can only hope that he likes Christian. Christian being financially stable is definitely going to be a major plus in the situation in my father's eyes. I'm sure he'll be grilling Christian a little, but he's probably already expecting that.

"Everything alright, Miss Steele?" Christian's voice comes over my cans and I turn my head to look at him, giving a slight nod.

"Just a little nervous."

"Me, too."

I giggle at his admission. He should probably be more nervous than me. Meeting a girl's father for the first time to tell him she's knocked up is probably not the best way of doing so, but there's not much we can do about it now.

"Nauseous?"

I give him a scowl. "Don't even mention it." _Don't jinx me._

This morning, I was so nauseated that I thought I was going to have to cancel the trip. Luckily, it subsided after a couple hours.

"How do you think your father will react?"

"I don't know." I turned my head to look out the other window, chewing my lip. I don't want to think about it.

XxXxXx

When we land, I see a silver Audi and a man dressed in a suit waiting for us. Once Christian has shut the rotors off, he unbuckles himself and then proceeds to do the same with me before we climb out.

"Mr. Grey. Your car is ready." The man in the suit states, meeting us halfway. He hands Christian the keys and Christian gives him a nod.

"Great. We'll be back at 7:00 pm."

He escorts me to the car by the small of my back and opens my door for me.

My eyebrows knit together. "You're just going to leave it there?" It's right in the middle of the small airport.

He chuckles. "They'll take care of it."

I look back towards the helicopter and see what appears to be a mechanic in a blue button-down, navy pants, and brown work boots, make his way towards the helicopter.

"Alright." I slip into my seat and he surprises me by bending over me to secure my seat belt.

"You know I can manage myself, right?"

He gives me a cheeky grin and gives me a loud, wet kiss on my forehead. He straightens and shuts my door and makes his way over to his side where he buckles himself.

"All secured, Miss Steele?"

I shrug. "You tell me. You did it."

He turns the car on and gives me a playful scowl. "That mouth..."

XxXxXx

"That's the house." I state, grinning from ear-to-ear. As Christian pulls into the driveway of my childhood home, my heart warms. The familiar white house with front porch, red door, and black shutters always welcomes me home.

I unbuckle myself and allow Christian to open my door for me. "Thank you."

He shuts the door behind me and I take a second to take in my home again. "That's my room." I state, pointing to the second floor window. My father transformed the attic into a bedroom for me. At the time, mom wasn't happy about losing the storage space, but it was nice to have a place where I had privacy. The walls were sloped on both sides, and every once in awhile I'd accidentally hit my head while groggy after getting up in the morning, but it's still my favorite place in the world.

We make our way up to the front porch and I check the knob, knowing it'll be unlocked. He never locks it when he's home; a terrible habit I never got him to break. We enter and I shut the door behind me.

"Daddy?" I call out to the quiet house.

No answer.

"He must be in back."

Christian follows me through the house and to the French doors in the kitchen. My dad is out back in his workshop, no doubt carving something out of wood. He has his air compressor on and an air tool running, so I'm forced to shout over the noise.

"Dad!"

He jumps a bit and the air tool stops moving. "Hey, Annie!" He gives me a large smile and dusts himself off, standing from the low stool he was sitting on. I reach over and turn the large air compressor off and hear the familiar hissing sound as he disconnects the tool from the hose.

"I've missed you, kiddo." He pulls off his safety glasses and engulfs me in a bear hug, making me giggle.

"I've missed you, too, Daddy."

"How's everything going? Let me get a good look at you." He holds me at arms distance by my shoulders to give me a once over and then spins me around as I laugh. He does this every time I've been away. "You look great, Annie."

He spins me back around towards him and I smile up at him. "Thank you. Everything _is_ great."

His eyes travel from mine to Christian, behind me. "And who's this?"

Christian immediately steps forward with his hand out. "I'm Christian Grey. Nice to meet you Mr. Steele."

Dad cocks and eyebrow at him and shakes his hand. "Hello, Christian. Grey...why does that sound familiar?"

Christian opens his mouth to speak, but I cut him off. "Oh...his older brother, Elliot, is dating Kate. You probably heard it from Mr. Kavanagh."

"How old are you, Christian? You certainly don't look twenty-two."

Christian gives him a polite smile. "I'm twenty-seven."

I watch my dad's eyes widen. I knew he'd think Christian was too old for me. "And so I take it you've graduated from a good college?"

"Well, no-" Christian looks put off.

"Uh huh. I see. And I suppose that-"

"Daddy! Why don't we discuss this at lunch? We want to take you to lunch. Why not get cleaned up?"

XxXxXx

We take my father to a nice diner and sit on the patio, enjoying the nice breeze and sun.

"So..." My father starts, eyeing Christian. "What are your intentions with my daughter?"

"I love her." I can tell that my father is shocked by his blunt admission. "I'm not going to beat around the bush about it, Mr. Steele. I love your daughter and I want to be with her. She means more to me than anyone."

Dad clears his throat and laces his fingers together letting them rest in his lap. "Anastasia is easy to love. What makes you think you're any different than others? Can you even support my daughter?"

"Dad!" I don't need any man to support me...at least not in the way my father is referring.

Christian takes a drink of his water and sits back in his chair. "Mr. Steele, I assure you that Ana would be well cared for if she and I ever decided to marry."

My father rolls his eyes. "That doesn't answer my question, Christian. I need to know how you intend to support her. You haven't even graduated college. What type of career could you possibly have?"

I can feel my cheeks reddening. I can't believe that this is happening. My father is acting like an oaf. He knows I would never want to depend on a man; especially after my mother acted the way she did as I was growing up. I suppose he has a right to be worried that I'd find a leech, but he should know that I am smarter than that.

"I dropped out of Harvard to start my own company, Mr. Steele. Now that company is the most successful company in Seattle."

"And what company would that be, Christian?"

Christian gives him a small smirk. _Smug bastard._ "Ever heard of Grey Enterprise Holdings? Grey House?"

My father almost chokes on his water. "I may have heard of it once or twice."

Christian's smirk widens. "Then like I said, I assure you that Anastasia will be cared for."

"How much money do you really make?"

"Daddy!" I admonish. _I cannot believe he just asked that!_ "Where are your manners? Christian. Don't answer that!"

Christian chuckles. _He actually finds this entertaining!_

"No, it's quite alright, Ana. I am courting his daughter, so he deserves to know." _Courting?_ I have to suppress a laugh at that. What we've done is _anything,_ but courting.

"That's right, Annie. Just look at your menu so we can order." I scowl at my father, annoyed with him giving me an order. I pretend to look at my menu while they talk.

"Mr. Steele, I make roughly 100k..."

I hear my father snort and I yank down my menu. _He is being so rude._

"...an hour." My head snaps towards Christian and, by the look on his face, I can tell he hesitated on purpose. _Why are men so ridiculous?_

"I see..." My father scratches his stubbled chin. "I hope that you don't expect Anastasia to be a housewife just because you're a millionaire."

Christian's jaw ticks and I know he's holding his temper. "First of all, I am a billionaire. I can afford my own staff without Anastasia having to do any work. Second of all, I don't expect Anastasia to do anything she doesn't want to do. I know how important working is to her and her worth ethic is incredible. I suppose she can thank you for that. Whatever Anastasia wants is what's going to happen. And I guarantee that I will support her through any decision she makes."

I find myself holding my breath as I watch my father regard Christian for a minute. He's either going to trample Christian for snapping at him like that or accept what he says and we move on. His face is unreadable and it could go either way at this point. After what seems like an eternity, my father gives a small nod.

"Alright, Christian. You seem like you've got your head on your shoulders. I'm willing to give you a chance. If you ever hurt my little girl though, I might have to kill you. And, I'm a marine. I know how to make it look like an accident."

Christian gives him a grin and I feel myself relaxing a bit. We order our food and I find my anxiety rising again. My upset stomach reminds me of why we are here and I have to tell myself not to eat much. The more I eat, the more that comes up when I feel like this. I know I'm getting antsy, but I try to hide it the best I can. Christian tries to calm me by slipping his hand into mine, but it does little to ease my anxiety.

When the waitress takes our plates away, I can feel my father's eyes on me.

"Annie?"

"Yes?" I look up at him, trying to act nonchalant, and take a sip of my iced tea.

"What is going on? Why are you so nervous?"

I chew my lip and tighten my grip on Christian's hand. "Well...Daddy...we have something to tell you."

His eyes dart to Christian and back to me. "Uh huh...and?"

"You see...well...I'm pregnant."

The blood drains from my father's face as his jaw drops open. "You're...wow." His eyes dart back to Christian and he gives him a scowl, like he's to blame. I almost laugh at the ridiculousness of it all.

His warm, brown eyes find mine and his face softens. "Annie...babygirl, I would have never wanted this for you so young..." He reaches for my hand and I gladly take it. "But, you know I will support you in every way I can."

I'm relieved by his response. I feel the immense pressure on my chest release itself. "Really?"

He smiles at me, his brown eyes twinkling. "Yes, Annie. Really. You are my babygirl and you're going to be having my grandbaby. How can I be angry?"

I find myself teary-eyed and I lean over to hug my father. He is such a sweet, understanding man; the only man I can depend on no matter what.

When we pull away, I see him teary-eyed as well and he clears his throat and sips his water to disguise his emotion. I blot my own eyes with my cloth napkin and see Dad point at Christian.

"I am depending on you. I'm not in Seattle so I can't watch over them, but you can. She is my daughter, therefore that baby is an extension of me and if anything happens to either one of them, I will hold you personally responsible."

Christian gives a nod. "Yes, sir. I understand. I take complete responsibility." _Oh, brother._ Now, there will be nothing holding him back from stalking me 24/7.

"When are you due, Annie?"

"February twelfth."

Dad grins. "You're going to be huge during the holidays."

I roll my eyes. "Thanks, Dad. Something to look forward to."

He laughs and squeezes my hand. "You'll be beautiful, babygirl."

XxXxXx

We spend the rest of the day at my father's house, where he and Christian bond over fishing, hiking, and sports. The two of them actually do have a lot in common and have already planned a weekend fishing trip in which Christian plans on asking Elliot and Mr. Kavanagh to attend. Part of me is annoyed, but I'm actually quite relieved that they're getting along. Even if Christian and I don't end up together, we're stuck with him for the rest of our lives, our child connecting us for eternity.

While they talk sports, I sneak off to my old room to call my mother. I'm honestly not that ecstatic about calling her. I really don't care how she feels and a part of me dreads having to speak to her.

I have a seat on my childhood bed and stare at my phone, trying to muster up enough courage to call her. Carla has a habit of finding the most inappropriate reaction for every situation. _She is so unexpected._

 _Ugh, just get it over with, Steele!_

Scrolling through my phone, I find her number and hit 'send'. I listen to it ring and wait for her to answer.

"Ana, sweetie!" She answers in her true Carla overly-enthusiastic style.

"Hello, Mom." I mumble, not matching her level of enthusiasm.

"I haven't spoken to you in ages; I've missed you, Ana." I hear her choking up and I close my eyes, annoyed by her already emotional state. I've said two words and she's already blubbering...I can't imagine how she's going to react when I tell her while I actually called.

"I'm sorry, Mom. I've been so busy...you know...with work and all." I trail off. _Oh...and also getting knocked up._ I get lost in my head a little as she prattles on happily about her newest husband, Bob, and how she's taken up pottery to fill up her time.

"Mom..." I try to get her to stop talking, but she ignores me. I'm not sure she's even taken a second to breathe. _It's just like her to go on like this._ She's always been selfish. As I continue to listen, I just become more angry.

"Mother!"

"I-hold on...wait until you hear what Bob did the other day..."

 _What. The. Hell._ "I am pregnant!" I blurt out loudly and she immediately shuts up. _I should have done that two minutes ago._

"What?" She breathes out.

"I am going to have a baby. I'm pregnant, Mom."

"How? I didn't even know you were seeing anyone." She states, shocked. _Because it's non of your god-damned business._

"It's new."

"How many times have I told you how important birth control is, Anastasia?! Are you at least going to get married?" Mom's voice has turned cold.

"No...I don't now. That's not really important right now. Look, Mother. What happened has happened and he and I have both accepted it. I already love the baby and I'm not going to complicate things by worrying about what other people think."

I hear her start to cry on the other line and my anger shoots through my body. Tears fill my eyes, not from sadness, but from the anger that suddenly manifested itself.

"I never wanted you to turn out like me, Ana...but that's exactly what has happened. I raised you better than this!" She cries into the phone and I find my heart aching. I knew a part of her always regretting getting pregnant so young, but it's still upsetting to hear that you were a mistake.

A mixture of anger and pain causes my tears to flow and I want to throw my phone across the room just to relieve some of my frustration with her.

"For your information, _Mother_ , I will never turn out like you. Why? Because I will never let my child feel the way you make me feel. I could never think of my child as a mistake and I would never put my child through what you put me through. My child will come first...before men, before money... before anything. And for the record, you had little to do with raising me. Daddy raised me to be a strong, independent woman who didn't depend on her mother for support...or anyone else for that matter. Ray did a better job at filling both roles when you couldn't even manage one. So don't ever think that you had any impact on the way I was raised. If you had any affect at all, it would be negative."

"What has gotten into you, Anastasia Rose? You never speak to your mother like that!" My mother barks.

"Becoming a mother myself has made me realized just how shitty of a mother you really are. Until you decide to start acting like a proper mother, I'll speak to you however I like." I end the phone call and toss it onto the bed, laying down on my pillow.

I feel the anger, disappointment, and hurt welling up even more and I find myself sobbing into my pillow not even a minute later. I feel a hand on my back, startling me, and I look up through blurry eyes too see Christian sitting next to me looking worried.

I sit up and throw my arms around his neck, burying my face into it. I take a deep, shaky breath, comforted by the familiar smell of him. He holds me tight and rocks us while he smooths my hair and I'm starting to relax so much that I could fall asleep right here. This crap is emotionally exhausting and it's sucking the life out of me. I am so thankful for Christian right now.

"I want to go home." I croak through a rough, scratchy voice. I just want to be in my own bed and sleep the rest of the day away.

"Alright, baby." I feel his lips press against the top of my head and he releases me with one of his arms, but leaves the other, keeping me firmly in place.

Suddenly, I hear faint ringing and realize he's on the phone.

"This is Grey. Yes. Is the helicopter ready? We were thinking of leaving earlier than we thought. Mmhmm...yes." His movement tells me he's slipping his phone back into his pocket.

"They said they can have it ready in 45. Let's get you cleaned up and say goodbye to your father, okay?"

I sniffle and reappear from his neck. I'm sure my mascara is running and my face is blotchy, but Christian doesn't seem to care one bit.

 _He really is a good man._

 **Christian's POV**

Anastasia came to my apartment last night after we left her father's, but she refused to stay, so I had Taylor take her home. I'm beginning to wonder if I'll ever make any headway with the stubborn woman. I look over at said stubborn woman while we sit at a traffic light and I can't help, but notice how fidgety she seems to be. She's wearing a dress and playing along the hem with shaky hands. She seems more nervous about telling my parents than she was her own. I have a feeling that the way they treated her last time is playing into her feelings now. They seemed to warm up towards the end of dinner last week, so hopefully their warmth continues.

"Christian, darling, it's so nice to see you."

I roll my eyes playfully at my mother. "It's only been a week, Mother."

"So? A mother can't miss her rotten children every once in awhile?" She leans in and I allow her to kiss me on the cheek.

"If we are rotten, then the fault would be yours." I give her a large grin at my playful jab.

"It's always the mother's fault..." She teases back as she turns towards Anastasia. "Hello, Ana. Nice to see you."

"You too, Dr. Trevelyan." I can hear her voice tremble a little and hope that my mother hasn't caught on to her nervousness.

"The food is ready. Shall we head to the dining room?" My mom asks, not bothering to wait for us as her heels click across the wood flooring. I take Anastasia's hand and we follow her into the dining room, where Elliot, Kate, and Mia are already sitting.

We greet them quickly and have a seat. Anastasia and I barely just made it in time and I know my mother is a little annoyed. I'm always pushing the time when I come, but tonight I should have made sure to be punctual. We've got big news to share and I don't want my mother already annoyed with my usual antics. I need to make sure not to lock myself in my office to work before family dinners. I lose track of time and end up having to to rush.

The dinner is family style and we take turns scooping portions of each dish out before handing it to the next person. When we're all settled with our plates full, Mom stands and clears her throat.

"I must confess that I have a bit of an announcement to make. You all know that Dr. Stone and I both enjoy wine so much...well, we decided to partner up and buy a vineyard in California!" My mother is beaming as everyone is clapping and congratulating her. I clap as well, glad that she's finally taken the leap that she's talked about for so long.

"Now, this has been in the making for quite some time, but I didn't want to surprise any of you until we officially made our first wine under our name!"

Gretchen comes out with a couple bottles of red wine and as she hands it to my mother, I see in silver writing on the cream colored label 'Grey Stone Winery'. I suddenly have a feeling that my collection is going to house many of these bottles.

"I thought everyone could have a drink together!" My mother pops open the bottle and everyone claps at the first bottle opened. She pours the wine into the stemless glasses that Gretchen has brought and I suddenly realize that Ana can't drink any. I turn my head towards Anastasia and she looks up at me with wide, worried eyes.

My mother hands me a stemless glass and I take it and she begins to hand one to Anastasia.

"Oh, um, thank you. It looks lovely." Ana stampers and takes it.

We toast Mom and then all take a sip, but Ana puts hers down. Unfortunately, my mother notices and her eyebrows knit together.

"Ana? Aren't you going to try the wine?" My mother looks a little offended and I begin to feel guilty.

"Oh...um, well it looks great, but you see...I can't drink wine." Ana looks at me for help and I turn my head to look up at Mom. _Ready or not..._

"What do you mean, dear? You had no problem drinking it last week." There is ice in my mother's tone. She's accusing Anastasia and I feel my anger rising.

"Actually...she didn't. I drank hers." Kate mentions quietly.

My mother gives her a small scowl and Kate hides behind her glass of wine, taking a deep drink.

"Why lie, Anastasia? Why all the secrecy about something so trivial?"

"Uh...well..." Ana starts, red faced. I put my hand up to stop her and her jaw immediately clicks closed.

"Mother...we also have an announcement."

"Oh! Um, alright, darling. What is it?" Mom has a seat quickly and suddenly I have a lump in my throat. I clear my throat and take Ana's hand.

"Anastasia's pregnant."

My mother's eyes pop out of her head and her wine glass almost topples over on the table as her hand flies to her mouth.

"Son of a bitch." My dad swears under his breath while he throws himself back in his chair.

"Is it yours or that Ethan's?" My mother's snarky comment makes my blood boil.

"Of course it is _mine,_ Mother! How dare you even accuse her of such a thing!"

"Well, she did show up with Kate's brother one Sunday and then you not long after...I just thought-"

"Well, you thought wrong." My tone is assertive, but quiet. I don't need to raise my voice to be heard.

"I need to use the restroom." Anastasia pulls her hand out of mine and I see that her eyes are full of unshed tears as she hurries off to the bathroom.

"Christian...are you sure about this? Maybe you should get a blood test just to be on the positive side..." _I cannot believe my own mother is saying this._

"Do not tell me what to do. She is mine, the baby is mine. You know nothing about her or our relationship! She was mine before she even came to dinner with Ethan as a favor to him."

"Don't be so naive, son!" My father chirps in and I find myself wanting to flip the table at him. "There isn't one doubt in your mind that she could be doing this for the check? She claims you as the father and she's set for life! How many people have tried to take advantage of you in the past, Christian? Your mother is right. First, you need to make sure its yours and then you need to lawyer up and make sure she doesn't get more than the bare minimum."

I sit back in my chair, shell shocked. _I can't believe this is happening._ "You know...any other parent would be ecstatic to find out they're having a grandchild. I don't know what your fucking problem is, but you better snap the hell out of it if you ever want to see me or my family again."

My mother gasps. "Christian! We are your family!"

"Anastasia and our child have become my family. They come before anyone else. I love them both and will do everything in my power to keep them safe and happy. If that means cutting off any sort of relationship with you two because you can't seem to handle it, then so be it. I am choosing Ana and our baby over you."

I stand to leave and I see Kate stand, too.

"I've always admired you for the kindness and love you show everyone around you, but tonight has shown me a whole different side I don't care for. You are making Ana out to be some...gold digging harlot...when she's far from it. She has one of the purest souls I've ever met and you should be embarrassed by your actions! Do you think this is easy for her? She's twenty-two years old, fresh out of college and gotten the surprise of her life. Other woman would shatter over this, but she has taken it in stride and is taking responsibility for her actions...and so is Christian. You should be proud that your son is being responsible, level-headed, and supportive about this instead of tearing down the woman he loves who just so happens to be carrying his child. If you fight this, you will lose." Kate takes a deep breath, her chest rising and falling rapidly from her rush of adrenaline. She turns towards my brother and throws her napkin in her plate. "I'm sorry, baby, but I can't stay and be a part of this. I have to go." She side steps to leave and Elliot jumps up.

"Right behind you, babe." I watch them stomp out together and then decide to follow their lead.

"Do not dare contact me unless it's to apologize to Anastasia." I bark at them. When I enter the sitting room, I see Anastasia standing against the wall. _She must have been listening._

"Come, baby. We're going home. You need to eat."

I take her hand and escort her towards the front door, stopping at the coat closet to retrieve our jackets and her handbag. Once we're in the car, I sit back in my seat and take a deep breath. I just need a quick breather.

I can feel her eyes on me, so I turn my head and make eye contact. Surprisingly, she has a small smile on her lips as she chews her bottom lip.

"You okay?" I ask her, confused.

Her smile widens and her lip pops back out. "You are the most incredible man I've ever encountered."

 _What?_

She leans towards me in her seat and instinctively, I lean as well. She reaches up to cup my jaw with her hand and her lips find mine. I can feel my heart practically burst at the feel of her soft, full lips on mine and I waste no time reaching up to cup her face so I can deepen it.

We pull away panting and she smiles up at me. "Stay with me tonight."

 _Oh, fuck._ "Yes, baby. Of course."

Her smile turns into a triumphant grin and she turns herself in her seat, leaning back and looks out the windshield. "Let's go."

 _She doesn't have to tell me twice._

I don't know what she's wanting out of tonight...if she just wants to cuddle or if she wants sex, but I'll be happy with either. I just want the intimacy back in our relationship, even if the sex isn't, yet. We're headed in the right direction and I couldn't be happier. The fight with my parents is immediately thrown to the back of my mind and I take Ana's hand in mine as we head out of the gated community.

She's mine, I am hers, the baby is ours, and we are a family. _I am one lucky man._


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Weee'rrreeeee baaackkkk! We want to thank all of you for your patience while we had to put this story on a long hiatus. We honestly didn't expect it to be so long, but life happens. Hopefully, you all didn't give up on us and that you'll like this new chapter. Enjoy!**

 **Stephie and Sanjana**

 ***Christian's POV***

It's been almost a week since we told my parents and I haven't heard from them since. A part of me is bothered by the fact that they haven't tried to apologize to Anastasia, but if it isn't genuine, then I don't want it to happen. I've promised Ray that I would take care of Anastasia and our child and I intend on doing just that. Ana and I have created a family together and they are my number one priority from now on. Although, I'm sure I'll miss my parents, I don't see myself breaking the silence until they truly apologize. If that's never...well...then so be it.

Anastasia and I are going apartment hunting this evening. I've spoken with a realtor and have a few close to my apartment that I want her to look at. I've begged her to look at the apartment a few floors below me, but she refuses. I know it's because she can't afford it on her own and she doesn't want me paying for anything. I'm hoping that she falls in love with one of these today and that the price won't be an issue.

"Baby...are you sure you don't want to just move in with me?" I give one last ditch effort to convince her.

She rolls her eyes, but there's a hint of a smile playing on her lips. "Yes, Christian. I'm sure. Don't you think our relationship should be more stable before that happens? We haven't had the best history."

I run a hand through my messy locks and sigh. "Fine." I can't help, but feel a little hurt that my girl doesn't want to live with me. I've slept over at her house three times this week to be with her, and I just want her close to me. She has yet to say the 'L' word back to me, but it doesn't keep me from telling her and the baby that as much as I can. We're back together, and at this point, that's all I can ask for.

She makes her way over to me and reaches up to pull my hand out of my hair, holding it in both of hers. "If you keep doing that, you'll go bald before you're thirty. It isn't that I don't _want_ to live with you...I just want to do this the right way this time. The last thing I want is for us to go too fast again and tear our family apart."

When I hear her say _our family_ , a smile forms on my face. We're a family...and I'll do my best to be patient. She's placated me for now.

"Are you ready? Are you sure you want to wear heels?" I worry about her feet and back hurting or that she'll fall from being exhausted from walking in them.

She lets out a sigh. "Yes, Christian. My heels are fine." I eye her suspiciously and she laughs. _I can't imagine heels being comfortable._ "What if I promise to let you carry me if they get too bothersome?"

I give her a large smirk. "Deal. Let's go."

XxXxXx

We meet the realtor, Kemal Dennison, at the first apartment. He offered to meet us at his office so he could drive, but I don't know him and, with the exception of Taylor and me, I don't trust anyone with my girl and unborn child.

As we pull up, Anastasia's eyes widen. "Christian...how am I supposed to afford a place like this?" She notices the doorman and high end cars lined up, waiting for the valet to park them.

"You'd be surprised, Ana. Let's just have a look." In all honesty, I know that it's over her price range, but I'm hoping that she'll fall in love with one of these and money will no longer be an issue. "The realtor put a lot of time and effort into finding these apartments, Ana. Just humor him."

She sighs. "Fine."

I park in the visitor parking and we climb out and I grab her hand before heading inside. We're greeted by the doorman and I tell him my name.

"Oh, yes, Mr. Grey. Mr. Dennison is waiting for you in the lobby. Let me get the door for you." Out of the corner of my eye, I see Ana cock an eyebrow at me, but I do my best to ignore her.

Hand-in-hand we enter the lobby and I see a tall, bald, black man impeccably dressed in a navy blue pinstriped suit. _Professional._ I respect that.

I greet him and introduce him to Ana.

"It's nice to meet you, Miss Steele. I've got a few apartments set up for us to look at today. I really think you'll find one you'll love."

She gives him a polite smile. "I hope so. Please, call me, Ana."

"Alright, Ana. Call me Kemal."

I frown. I don't like the fucker being on a first name basis with my girl. Especially a good looking one. I wrap my arm around her waist and my free hand goes to her stomach to rub in light circles.

 _Mine._

We head up to the twelfth floor and step out of the large elevator into the cream carpeted hall. My eyes sweep over the light colored carpet and walls and notice that it's clean. No stains, no marks. _That's a good sign._

We stop in front of the door labeled 1208 and he slips in the key before allowing us entry. As he opens the door, the first thing I notice is the open floor plan. It makes the apartment feel airy and crisp.

The walls are white, the cabinets a pale wood, and the appliances and furniture black. It has twenty-foot high sloped wood ceilings with skylights and large windows that show you the city below. There are black stairs that lead up to a loft and a second story. It's smaller than I'm used to, but anything is better than that tiny box she calls an apartment. I knew if I had us look at apartments too large, she might refuse to look at all. _I really don't want her making this decision without me._

I watch Anastasia as she walks through the main level, her high heels clicking along the hard floor. Her arms are folded over her chest and her bottom lip is trapped between her teeth as she takes in the large space.

"This apartment is 2,100 square feet, two bedroom, two and a half bath. The kitchen has natural stone countertops that were just replaced two years ago. The master bedroom is on the main level. The second bedroom is upstairs and has its own bathroom as well. The loft is large enough to house an office and has built in bookcases to hold quite a few books. The owners will be taking their furniture with them, so unfortunately, you will have to provide your own furniture for the apartment."

"How much is this apartment?" Anastasia asks, opening some of the cabinets.

"It's $3,000 a month."

The cabinet closes with a crash and I wince.

"What?" Anastasia breathes, grabbing her chest.

"$3,000 a month, Ana. And in this neighborhood, that's a steal. You'll also have 24/7 access to the concierge, doorman, and the valet."

"And that doesn't by chance include utilities...renter's fees...etcetera?"

I roll my eyes.

"Um, no, Ana. I'm afraid that's extra."

"Uh huh." She states slowly, cocking her eyebrow at me.

"Money aside, what do you think of the place, Ana?" _Don't make a scene._

"It's lovely, but I don't think that the glass sides on the banister above are very safe for a child."

Looking up, I see that she's right. I can't imagine the devastation that shattering glass could cause. Especially when our child could fall fifteen feet on said glass.

 _Nope._

 _No way._

 _NEXT._

XxXxXx

As I open the passenger door to my R8 to let Ana slide in, I can feel the cold aura around Anastasia as she passes me. _She's pissed._

 _Maybe I should have had him ride with us._ At least, then, she might have stowed her attitude for awhile longer.

I slip into my side and buckle my seat belt before turning on the vehicle. I chance a look at my girl and she's sitting in her seat, her arms crossed, and her jaw ticking. I can see that she's trying her best to keep calm.

"Ana?" I ask, wanting to get this over with.

"Just. Drive." She grits through her teeth.

"I think you'll really like this next one."

She lets out a rather unladylike snort and turns her head toward her window, effectively ignoring me.

 _The silent treatment._

This has never happened. Ana has never had an issue with telling me just how angry she is. It makes me wonder how much worse it'll be when she breaks her silence.

At the second apartment, Ana humors the realtor as I requested and even asks questions about the place.

This one is even larger than the last, with a larger loft and upstairs. It has marble floors, room for a separate dining section and large furniture. The floor is marble and the walls are gray. It's 3,000 square feet and is a two bedroom three bath. Unfortunately, there's no valet or 24/7 concierge, but there is a doorman.

"And how much is this one, dare I ask?" She asks, eyeing me.

"This apartment is $5,500 a month."

I watch her jaw tick again.

"Christian...will you explain to me how I'm going to pay for this? I cannot afford this."

"Maybe you can't, but _we_ can."

"Fine." She grits between her teeth. "Then explain to me how these marble floors and open stairs are baby friendly?"

She switches gears and it's effective. I loved this apartment, but how can I love something that is a risk for my baby? _I can't._

We head to the third and final apartment of the day and it's perfect for the baby. It's on one floor, has wood floors, and new cabinets and countertops. It has floor to ceiling windows that overlook Seattle and it's smaller, but feels cozy. I could even get used to this.

"This one is 2,000 square feet, two bedroom, two bath on one floor. This one is $3,250 a month and it doesn't have a valet, but it's only a block from Mr. Grey's apartment. In fact, if you look out this window, you can see Escala from here."

"Oh, wow." Anastasia looks pleasantly surprised by the news and my chest fills with hope.

She asks to see the bedrooms and I'm even more hopeful that she'll say yes. She didn't even bother to step outside of the main living area on the other two.

"So, do you like it?" I ask, trying to keep the hope out of my voice.

She chews her lip, unwilling to say.

I grin. "You do."

"What I'd _like_ is to see apartments that I can afford with _my_ paycheck."

Kemal quirks an eyebrow at her and then nods. "What can you afford, Ana?"

"Somewhere in the $1,000-$1,500 a month range."

He looks taken aback.

"Oh...well, let me look tonight and we'll see if there's anything I can show you. I must say, I don't know if it's possible to keep you in the vicinity that Mr. Grey is requesting with two bedrooms at that price. I'll do my best."

She gives him a smile. "Great...and there's nothing wrong with going farther out than what Christian wants. This is _my_ apartment and _my_ decision."

Once we're back in the car, Ana's silent treatment finally breaks.

"What the _hell_ do you think you're doing?" She hisses as I pull out into traffic.

A part of me feels like I should try to play dumb, but I know it won't do any good.

"What did you expect me to do, Anastasia? I'm not going to place my child in an apartment that I don't feel is safe."

"After how your parents acted... _hell, Christian..._ after how _you_ acted...do you honestly just expect me to allow you to pay for my rent?"

 _Fuck._

 _Here we go._

"Forget my fucking parents, Anastasia. Their opinions don't much matter in this situation and how many times do I fucking have to say I'm sorry before you stop bringing it up?"

"How am I just supposed to forget it, Christian? Your parents basically called me a gold digger and you accused me of purposely trapping you in a situation that you couldn't get out of."

"Stop being so damn salty, Anastasia. There's been enough salt shoved in that wound to cause pain for a fucking lifetime." _I'm pissed._ "You really do expect me to sit by the wayside and give up control over my child's safety? You can't even keep yourself fed, how the fuck are you going to keep our child safe in a bad neighborhood or shitty apartment?"

Anastasia grits her teeth and balls her hands into fists. "Talk about adding salt to wounds! So now, you're going to accuse me of being a terrible mother before this child is even here?"

I wince. "I didn't mean to come out like that. I just mean I'll worry a lot less if you're in a secure apartment in a safe part of town. Preferably, one that is close to me."

"God fucking forbid that the controlling bastard doesn't get his way." She throws daggers in my direction and her mouth fuels my anger.

"Watch your mouth!"

"Watch yours." She grits out in a low voice. I know this Anastasia. _She's going to close up on me._

"You know, all of this wouldn't be an issue if you'd just move in with me."

"No."

I sigh, knowing that this escalated far too quickly.

"Listen, Ana. We both said some hurtful things that we didn't mean. Let's just take a few minutes and breathe a little and reassess this situation. Communicate like actual adults. Keeping the past off the table." I do my best to think level-headed for both of our benefit. We just got back together a week ago and I don't want her running off again.

She exhales deeply. "You're right. Let's cool down."

I reach for the switch on the radio and turn up the volume. Ed Sheeran's _Perfect_ comes over the radio and I force myself to listen to the chorus, calming my heart beat and anger. The second verse comes on and I smile.

' _Well, I found a woman,_

 _Stronger than anyone I know._

 _She shares my dreams,_

 _I hope that someday, she'll share her home._

 _I found a love, to carry more than just my secrets._

 _To carry love, to carry children of our own._

 _We are still kids,_

 _But we're so in love._

 _Fighting against all odds,_

 _I know we'll be alright this time._

 _Darling, just hold my hand._

 _Be my girl. I'll be your man._

 _I see my future in your eyes.'_

I reach over and take her hand in mine and bring it to my lips.

"Christian, I'm sorry. I know you only want the best for baby bear and me."

I give her a genuine smile. "I'm sorry, too, baby."

"Will you at least humor me and come with me to see the apartments I can afford on my own?"

"Absolutely." _I can't promise that I'll like any of them, but I'll try._

There is a part of me that still hopes that she'll choose the last one we looked at...or that possibly she'll decide to move in with me. _I want to keep her close._

XxXxXx

I was able to convince Ana to stay in my bed, but we still have yet to have sex again. I'm aching for her, but I know that pushing her would be about the worst decision I could make right now. Our relationship is very fragile at the moment and I have to wait for her to come to me. _I feel like I'm always waiting on Ana._

We're on our way to the first apartment and it's fifteen minutes from Escala. _Too damn far._ I try to remind myself to keep an open mind. I hope that if I keep an open mind, that my stubborn girl will do the same and she'll choose one of the apartments I chose for her.

When we pull up the apartment building, it doesn't look too shabby, but there doesn't look to be much security either. A key is needed to get in the entry door, but that's about the extent of it. As we walk into the lobby, my eyes automatically wander up to see if any security cameras are in the vicinity. I see one above the small mail boxes that you access with keys and I feel a little better about it. _I wonder if they actually record or if it's just live._

If it's live, there must be a security office somewhere around here, maybe in the basement. I'm hoping that the owner has the common sense to tape the area, as well.

We head up to the third floor with Kemal and the first thing I notice when we step into the apartment are the large windows. It doesn't have high ceilings, but the windows help a lot with it. The beams along the ceiling are showing, but painted to match the surrounding walls. I immediately notice that these large beams have cracks and chips along the length of them and it gives me instant anxiety. The ventwork is also open and my first thought is water damage and mold.

 _There's no fucking way my family is staying in this shitty hole._

"Now, this apartment is 1,200 square feet. Two bedrooms, one bath, and all the appliances stay with the apartment. I know that it looks a little dated, but it's $1,300 a month, so it's in your price range, Ana."

I frown. _I don't like this. I don't like this at all._

I stand in the middle of the room, hoping that we're not currently breathing in mold spores while Anastasia looks through the apartment. I pray that she doesn't like it.

"I love the look of the building, and I love the price. It's a little further to work than my current apartment, but I can work with it. It does look a little dated, but perhaps some fresh paint and window covering will help hide it."

"So, you like it?" The realtor asks. I shoot him daggers.

She cranes her neck to look around again and I notice her hand comes up to rest on her flat stomach. "Yea, it's definitely a contender."

I immediately worry that she can actually picture herself and baby bear here, already. _No._ She just can't. I can't let her live here.

 _Please let the next two be better than this._

We head to the second one, which is five minutes closer to Escala than the last. He states that the apartment is on the top floor of the apartment complex and it makes me feel a little better about the security. She'll be furthest away if some sociopath came in looking for trouble.

As soon as we step in the door, I take one look at the apartment and take her by the waist and steer her out.

"Nope. Absolutely not."

The apartment walls are exposed brick. Not only are the walls exposed, but there are obvious cracks along the brick and there is no real ceiling. The rafters and pipework for the plumbing can be seen running along above our heads. _Who knows who's shitty water could burst out above their heads._ The floor looks like it hasn't been touched in years, the gray paint on the old wood floor worn off in multiple places. _Splinters._ Lots and lots of splinters.

 _No fucking way._

"Christian…"

I shake my head. "No, Ana. I am not even going to try to humor you on this one. There's no way."

She sighs. "Fine."

"Alright." Kemal nods, looking a little worried. "I've got one more in your price range, Ana, but it's thirty minutes from the city center."

My heart plummets to my stomach. _Thirty minutes._ A half an hour to get to my girl and my baby if something were to happen to them.

"Ana…" _Please don't consider this._

"Please. Let's just go look at it."

I swallow back the lump of panic in my throat and I nod. _Just be patient, Grey._

 _Hopefully, it's a dump._

The ride out of the city is a quiet one and the ominous feeling I have in my stomach just keeps growing the closer we get to this apartment.

When we reach the building, the first thing I notice is just how tiny the building is. It's only two stories.

I frown as I look up at the building. _I hate you._

We follow Kemal into the building and up the stairs. The apartment has no elevator. _What. The. Fuck._

In the apartment, it seems dark. The walls are dark blue, the wood floor old and worn, and the ceiling is bare with a large sky light in the middle.

"This one is only 950 square feet, but it's $1,000 a month. There is only one bedroom, but the loft is large enough to house a bed."

Anastasia smiles. "It's cozy."

My veins run cold and I almost choke on my own saliva. My whole body feels numb and I can feel goosebumps spread over my limbs.

 _This can't be happening._

The kitchen is below the loft and it's tiny. Tinier than the kitchen she has in her apartment now.

"I love the built-in bookcase along the loft. I could live in my own little library." She smiles as she looks over every little detail.

The large, black gas stove sits against a wall away from everything in the kitchen. _It looks like it's going to blow up at any second._

He shows her the bedroom and the tiny bathroom and it doesn't deter her in the slightest.

"But what about the drive to work?" _I need to find a reason for her not to take it._

She shrugs. "It's cheap enough. The gas wouldn't be an issue."

"But what about winter? What about the ice? The rain. Thirty minutes is a long time to be driving in those conditions, Ana."

She gives me a smile. "Oh, Christian…" She rolls her eyes and it frustrates me further. "I've driven in those conditions before. I'm a big girl."

 _But…_

"You really _do_ love this place?"

She nods, looking around. "I do. I love the bookcase. The cozy feel of it all. I like that I can look out and not see skyscrapers. It feels peaceful, Christian."

I shake my head. "Please, Ana. No. Don't do this."

Her eyebrows knit together. "Christian, please don't throw a fit."

 _This can't be happening. She can't do this._

"Ana...please rethink this. You can't. You can't live out here. You can't live this far away from me. I need you closer. I'll do whatever I need to do. I'll build you a loft and a bookshelf. I'll buy some land and I'll build two fucking houses if you really want me to. Just don't move away. I mean it, Ana. I can't handle it." My panic is rising and I know that I'm practically begging her. _Fuck, I'll get down on my hands and knees and beg her if I have to._

Worry lines etch into her pretty face and she wraps her arms around me. "Christian, it's okay. Calm down. I won't take it. Just relax. Take some breaths."

I swallow back my tears as relief floods through my system and I take some cleansing breaths. "You won't?" _Swear it._

"I promise. We'll find something closer. Somehow."

My shoulder's sag in relief and I hug her to me. _She isn't leaving me._


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N- Love all of your opinions and comments that you made on FB with the teaser for this chapter. We can't wait to see how you feel after reading the rest of the chapter. Hope it meets all of your expectations!**

 ***Ana's POV***

It has been a week since Christian and I went apartment hunting and neither one of us has brought it up since Christian had his small panic attack at the last apartment. I really love my apartment now, but I know there's no possible way I could find room for a baby in this apartment. Everytime I think about having to move, it makes me a little sad.

"Ana...are you alright?" Christian asks me as we're eating breakfast at a diner close to my apartment. "You've been quiet this morning."

I stab at my eggs and watch the yolk run over my plate. _Ick._ It immediately makes me sick to my stomach. _I should have gotten scrambled eggs like Christian suggested._ Man, I really _am_ stubborn sometimes. Of course, I won't admit it. No self-respecting stubborn woman would.

"I've just got a lot on my mind. A lot has changed in the last few weeks."

He snorts. "That's an understatement." He wipes his mouth on his napkin and sits up straighter. "Ana...you know, if we could compromise on this living situation then that would be a big weight off of both of our shoulders. You could be moved in and we could be talking about baby furniture by now."

I roll my eyes. "I really don't know if we'll ever come to a compromise about my apartment, Christian."

"Why? Why is it so hard for you to let me help? It's _our_ child, Ana. Not just yours. Don't you think that I should be allowed to support my child, too? I'm trying to protect you. Both of you."

I can feel tears wanting to form, but I swallow them back. These pregnancy hormones have me way too emotional. I hate it.

"And I'm just trying to protect myself."

His eyes narrow. "And what does that mean?"

I frown. "I don't mean for you to be offended, Christian...but what if something happens?"

"Like?"

"Like…" I sigh. "What if you decide you want out? What if you decide that you aren't father material? What if you take a step back and I'm suddenly responsible for an apartment that I can't afford? I will not be that woman that chases her child's father. I won't beg you to stay and I won't beg you for money. If you decide that you don't want to be a father, then I won't make you. It isn't fair to you, to me, or to the child if we force it to happen. I just want to make sure that if something _does_ happen, that I can afford to keep a roof over my child's head and food in their mouth."

He shakes his head. "I will _never_ change my mind, Ana. I will never leave you. I had a fucked up childhood, baby. I would never let my child grow up without a father. I'm here to support, to protect, and to love both of you every step of the way. Please. Let me take care of both of you. If you still refuse to move in with me, then let me pay for the apartment and your money can go towards the utilities. Fifty-fifty for our child."

I frown. "I don't know. I'm still…" I shake my head, finding it hard to explain. "I know you want me to trust you, Christian, but you've asked me to trust you in the past. You told me to let you take care of me, but then-"

"Listen, Ana." He cuts me off and I'm too surprised to be angry at the moment. "Our relationship has been one fucked-up rollercoaster from the beginning. We screwed around with each other's feelings and got the shock of our lives only a few months after we met each other...but we got through it. We're sitting here, aren't we? I promise you, there is nothing that's going to take me away now. I will be here for you and for our child. Let me take care of both of you a little bit."

I chew my lip, considering his words. _I'll never know if I don't give him a chance…_

"Please, don't let what my parents said, get to you. As far as I'm concerned, they don't have a part in this. Their opinions mean nothing." He swallows hard and looks down at his plate.

I know he'll never admit it, but this burned bridge between him and his parents bothers him. I know how much he adores them, especially his mother. He named his boat after her for Christ's sake! I've been praying that they contact him to apologize, not for my benefit, but for him. I know that he's really upset with them and disappointed by their actions, but he loves them. I know he misses them. I've been trying to be patient, but seeing the affect this situation has on him has me rethinking the situation.

I've decided to reach out to them myself. A part of me feels like I shouldn't, that this is a private matter between Christian and his parents and that I should leave it alone and let him deal with it, but I can't. They aren't speaking and it's all my fault. If I hadn't been so ignorant and agreed to come to the house with Ethan and Kate, this would have never happened. I wouldn't be pregnant, they wouldn't think I was some kind of whore, and Christian could have introduced me as his proper girlfriend.

I can regret letting them see me with Ethan and make them think I was with him, but I can't regret this child. Already, I've become so attached and I want this baby more than I've ever wanted anything. I know I'm young and I know I still have some growing up to do, but I feel ready. I feel like it's fate. _This baby is meant to be._ If that's true, then that means that Christian and I are meant to be. My whole body relaxes at the thought.

"Okay, Christian. Let's compromise."

His small pout turns into a large grin. "You'll move in with me?"

I giggle. "I said _compromise._ "

He rolls his eyes playfully. "Alright, fine. Then, you'll move into the last apartment I picked?"

Smiling, I nod. "Yes, that one was my favorite." Not only is it less money, but it's one floor and more compact, making the utilities cheaper, the baby safer, and the apartment more cozy. Christian's apartment building is only a couple minutes away and it will help keep my control freak of a boyfriend placated for now.

"Great, cause I already bought it." He gives me a Cheshire grin and lifts his glass. "Let's celebrate."

"What? Christian!" I try to be mad at him, but that cheeky smile of his keeps me from it.

"A man can hope can't he? The apartment had two other contracts on it! I knew you liked it, so I took a chance. Aren't you glad I did?"

I sigh and lift my glass, clinking our orange juices together. "Yes, I really do love that apartment. Thank you, Christian."

"I'll come over this week and help you get packed. With a place like that it'll only take what? Five minutes or so?"

"You underestimate my power of cramming many things in small spaces., Mr. Grey."

His eyes widen dramatically. "Should I hire a moving company then?"

I snort into my orange juice. "I'm not that bad!"

XxXxXx

The next day I am staring at my phone, my finger hovering over the call button. I am a nervous wreck. I have been trying to get the courage to call Dr. Trevelyan for the last ten minutes. The last time we spoke wasn't even remotely pleasant...not that I got to do much speaking of my own. That night, she basically called me a whore and a gold digger. Even though we left on bad terms, I am trying to put my pride aside and talk to her so that she and Mr. Grey can make amends with Christian. He is heartbroken about this, even if he tries to hide it.

There is a part of me that understands where they are coming from, worrying about their youngest son, but they didn't even bother to listen to the whole story or take in consideration Christian's feelings. It has really opened my eyes about becoming a parent. My child's happiness will always come first. I might not like who he or she has picked as a partner, but I'm going to try my hardest to. I'm just going to have to raise them the best way I can and hope that they're smart enough to make the best decision for themselves.

I close my eyes, mentally put on my big girl panties, and take a deep breath before hitting the call button.

After a few rings, she picks up.

"Hello?" she answers in a soft, polite voice.

"Um.. , hello. This is Anastasia Steele." I say in a timid voice. There is silence on the other end for a few moments.

"Anastasia? What's wrong? Is it Christian? Is he OK?" Her voice sounds panicked; worried.

"Christian is fine, Dr. Trevelyan. At least physically." I explain. I can hear her sigh.

"What's the purpose of this call, Anastasia? I am quite busy to chit chat right now." Her tone is clipped and cold and it makes my stomach clench. _Maybe this wasn't a good idea._

"I was hoping we could meet for lunch and talk." I say, trying to be polite.

"You can say whatever you need to on the phone, Anastasia. Make it quick." She snaps back, even colder than before. I feel my anger rising, but I control myself. _She is my baby's grandmother._ I don't want to say anything I might regret later. It's imperative that they mend this with Christian.

"Christian is suffering. He is heartbroken that you and Mr. Grey are not talking to him. He may be angry, but he still needs your support and love. This silence between the three of you is really affecting him. He needs you, Dr. Trevelyan. Especially now." I tell her, my eyes burning with tears.

"I don't need someone like you telling me how to treat my son. I know Christian. I know what he needs. I know more about my son than you will ever and I know he is making a big mistake being with you. I have zero trust for you, Anastasia, and I will bet every cent I own that the baby is not my son's. You are a manipulative little girl and I will not allow you to manipulate me. Eventually, your lies will show themselves and my son will see just how manipulative you truly are."

 _That's it._ I've had enough.

It takes every ounce of self control I have not to pummel this woman. I take a deep, cleansing breath and force myself to keep my voice calm. "Dr. Trevelyan. I am not going to sit here and listen to you talk to me or my baby like that. Fine, I get it, you don't know me, so there is no reason to trust me, but trust your son. Trust that you raised him well enough to know better. He didn't build a company by himself by allowing others to manipulate and use him. He isn't a fool Dr. Trevelyan.

"Now that I am a mother, I understand the concept of wanting to protect your child, but what you're doing is insinuating that your son is stupid. That he's too ignorant to see what's right in front of him. To me, that shows what type of person you truly are. You've let your true colors show and this conversation is not something I will ever forget. I did this for Christian.

"If you think for one minute that keeping you around is for my benefit, then you're the one who is ignorant. If I was truly that manipulative, don't you think that keeping you out of Christian's life would make it easier for me? I'm not asking you to be in my life or even your grandchild's life...but don't abandon your son. How much more does he have to suffer? He's been abandoned and hurt too many times. If I were you, I'd take a moment to mull over this little _chat_ we had in your head and decide if all of this is worth losing Christian over...losing the son that you swore from the beginning that you'd love and protect." I hang up, not even bothering to say goodbye.

I take a deep, cleansing breath to try to calm my heart rate. The surge in adrenaline can't be good for baby bear. Looking around the room, I see a dozen empty or half empty boxes thrown throughout. It makes me anxious.

Deciding it'd probably be best if I take a bath to calm down before I continue to pack, I head toward my bathroom. While the tub fills, I busy myself with throwing the stuff in the cabinets into one of the moving boxes. _I really do have a lot of crap._

I've considered going through it all and tossing a bunch of it, but this new apartment is so much larger that the extra stuff might make it less expansive and more cozy. I bet my little nick nacks will look darling in the new apartment. Although, my opinion might change when the apartment is full of baby gear.

I slip into the warm bubble bath and relax back against the side. I sigh. _So much better._

I really hope that Christian's mother reassesses the situation and considers another option besides this silent treatment. I was honest when I said that I didn't mind if she didn't want anything to do with me or baby bear. I just want Christian to have his parents back. I'm hoping that if she does decide to reach out to Christian and has made the decision not to include me in their life, that I can convince Christian to have some type of relationship with them. I know he doesn't want to admit it, but he needs their love. He doesn't get enough love and affection as it is. I'd do anything to salvage my relationship with my mother, but unfortunately, there's nothing left to salvage. I don't want Christian to get to that point.

He's suffered through neglect, abandonment, abuse, and trauma all his life and the sweet man deserves a break. No wonder my poor Christian is so controlling. He grew up unable to control anything in his life. It's only natural for him to cling to every ounce of control he can get. His need to protect the baby and me also stems from his traumatic childhood. If something did happen to our baby, I can't imagine how he would react. The results might be catastrophic.

Perhaps I really have been too hard on Christian. He needs love. He needs attention and affection and to know that he's needed and appreciated. For once, I admit that my stubborn self might have been a little too stubborn.

"Ana?"

I scream, startled, but quickly realize that it's Christian.

"Shit! You almost gave me a heart attack!" I grab my chest and feel my heart pounding hard against its ribcage. _Damn it._ I had just gotten my heart rate back to normal.

He looks a little taken aback, as well.

"I'm sorry, Ana. I thought you heard me. I knocked before I unlocked the door and came in." After his mini breakdown while house hunting last night, I gave him my spare key as a peace offering. At first, I thought that him bursting in whenever he'd like would bother me, but it hasn't really been an issue. I love seeing Christian.

"Oh, I must have been daydreaming. I'm sorry."

"Daydreaming?" He quirks an eyebrow at me. "About what?"

I give him a salacious grin. "You."

His eyes widen a little and I'm delighted by the fact that I caught him off guard.

"Is that so, Miss Steele?"

I bite my lip and nod. "Would you like to join me?"

Now his eyes are as big as saucers. "Seriously?"

I giggle. "Yes. I miss you. I want to be with you, Christian." My Christian needs love and affection and that is exactly what I'm going to give him. I'm going to make it my responsibility to make sure he knows he's loved and appreciated.

"Fuck." He swears under his breath and begins to pull off his clothes as quickly as he can.

His jeans get stuck around his feet as he kicks them off and he almost stumbles.

"Smooth."

He gives me a playful scowl. "It's been awhile. Sorry if I seem a little anxious to be with you." He finally kicks his bottoms away and he's standing before me naked and hard.

I hum at the sight of my Adonis. "Come join me." I move enough for him to climb in behind me and I settle back against him, letting him run his hands up and down my body. "You don't have anywhere to be tonight, do you?"

He nuzzles into my neck and nips at it. "Nope. I'm yours all night long."

I let out a soft moan as he leaves a trail of soft kisses down my neck to my shoulder. "Good. We're going to need that time to get reacquainted."

"Let me wash you, Ana. Let me take care of you." He urges, pressing his lips to every inch of skin he can reach.

I hum. "Yes, Christian. Please." I turn toward him and his penis rubs against me, making me moan.

"Not yet, baby. Just wait. I want to savor this moment as long as I can.

 ***Christian's POV***

Ana and I have spent the last forty-five minutes in the bath, slowly getting reacquainted. Our mouths were fused together for half of that time and it's taking all of my control not to just fuck the living daylights out of her.

We haven't had sex since I found out she was pregnant and, even though my whole body is in overdrive, I refuse to let this moment go to waste. I want to take my time and worship her beautiful body. I am so looking forward to the skin-to-skin.

I really hate that the first and only time we didn't use a condom was not only the night that I got her pregnant, but the only night that is a complete haze for me. I remember her feeling incredible, but I let my jealousy and need for control rule my body. Although, we both came that night, I hate that we didn't get to take our time and make love the right way. Tonight, I am going to make it up to both of us.

I don't know why she's suddenly changed her mind on sex. If it's her hormones, the fact that we finally agreed on the apartment situation, or if she's finally come to realize that my feelings for her and our baby are completely genuine.

As I lay my girl against the white linens of her bed, I can't help, but think how lucky I am. We've had such a rocky start, each of us having our own demons to deal with, but it's only going to get better from here.

"Christian…" My girl whimpers and shimmies her hips impatiently. I duck down and kiss her lips, making her relax.

My lips continue down her body and I can feel her heart beating heavy in her chest. Her body is running in overdrive and watching her whimper and wiggle below me is so fucking sexy. I'm the only man lucky enough to see her like this. The only man that will ever see her like this. The only man who will father the children she carries. The only man who can give her everything she wants.

"Mine." I mumble against her breast before taking her nipple into my mouth.

She whimpers and presses her breast further into me. "Yes, Christian. Yours. Please...please. I'm going to burst."

I smirk around her pretty pink bud. _That's exactly what I'm planning on making her do._ I take my time with her top half, playing with her breasts, but I stop each time she gets close. _Beg me, Ana._

She growls out in frustration and pushes my head down her body, making me chuckle.

"Problem, Anastasia?" I ask, looking up at her.

"Christian! I swear to God-" She's cut short by my lips coming in contact with her wet center. "Oh, yes…" Her legs part even more for me and both hands grip my hair, making sure I'm not going to go anywhere.

She moans and grinds her hips against my face as I work her up and push her over the edge quickly. Her thighs shake against each side of my face and I nuzzle into her center one more time, breathing deeply. _Mine._

As she relaxes, I slide up her body and she's got a soft, relaxed smile on her face and her eyes are closed.

"You like that?" I ask, nibbling on her neck.

"Mmm, yes. You make me feel phenomenal."

"So do you, baby. Are you ready?"

She pulls her knees up and wraps her legs around my waist. "More than ready, Christian."

I take no time lining myself up and I press myself slowly into her, enjoying the feel of her tight, wet, swollen center.

"Fuck, Ana." I rest my forehead against hers. "You feel so fucking good." There is nothing like skin-to-skin during sex. Nothing can be better than this.

"Just don't stop, Christian." Her fingers cling to my shoulder blades, trying to pull me closer. She has tears in her eyes.

"Baby…" I'm confused by her sudden emotional state.

She shakes her head and lets out a light laugh. Her pregnancy hormones must be getting the best of her right now.

"Christian, I'm so close…" Suddenly her muscles begin to tense and her fingernails bite into my shoulder blades.

"Let go." I encourage, knowing I'm right behind her. I know as soon as she tightens around me that I'm a goner.

We come together, a mixture of grunts and moans and I relax on top of her, making sure to keep most of my weight on my arms.

"Wow." I pant, nuzzling into her neck.

I hear her sniffle and when I look at her, I see that her tears have started up again.

"Ana, please...tell me. What is it?"

She lets out a small sob and grips onto my shoulder blades. "Just please don't leave me tonight."

My eyebrows knit together. "Baby, no. I'm not going anywhere. We're sharing a bed tonight. I'll never leave you." Now I understand why she feels so emotionally raw.

"I love you so much, Christian." She states, letting out another sob.

My heart swells three times its size just hearing those words. "Oh, Ana...really?"

She sniffles again and nods. "I have...for a long time. Probably since you gave me your jacket. When you made that comment about letting someone take care of me for a change. It really meant so much to me."

I nuzzle my nose with hers and press my lips to her mouth. "I love you, Ana."

She smiles. "I love you, too."

"Say it again."

She giggles. "I'm in love you, Christian."

I hum. "Tell me every day."

She bites her lip and nods. "Every day. I promise."


End file.
